Why does he speak to me like this?

[Trappedd]

Hello,

I'm not sure if I've just been conditioned over the years to think this is normal but my partner and father of my kids takes stuff out on me all the time.

Just now, he overslept for work, he's not late yet but he will be cutting it fine. I'd been getting our youngest to sleep and had no idea he had fallen asleep himself, I went downstairs after getting youngest off and found him snoring. Shook him awake, he jumped up asking what the time was.

Then just went nuts - swearing at me, called me a cunt, a twat, punched the wall, screaming at me to get out of his way, called me a retard. I started crying, and he told me not to turn on the waterworks and to pack it in.

Why does he do this? He is normally fine but has this real nasty streak at times.

I am sorry, but he does this because he is not a nice man. And very very definitely not father material.

Imagine your children seeing and hearing this and learning that this is normal - it is not.

Just focus on the path ahead. You can do this and make a better future for your children and yourself.

Yes, OP you are mad at yourself but can I tell you, my mum is way into her 80's and she still cries at what she put her children through - the same shit that is happening to you. She didn't leave because she had children but all of her children (me included) are past 50 and have had life long issues. You need to leave. There are people/agencies out there that can help you. Be strong. Get advice and leave all that crap behind you. Please, please do it.

The book ' Why does he do that' by Lundy Bancroft will help to answer your question. If you Google you can find a free pdf.

There is the best life out there for you and your children but you won't get it until you leave and start afresh. Also, once you have started a new life, never revisit the past. It has nothing new to say. I wish you well xx

Omg he’s insane! This happened to me last week where I overslept and luckily my partner woke me up, I was only slightly late but was so grateful he’d woke me! He is awful OP.

😳 Please tell me you’re not still with someone who enjoys abusing you when you’re weak

No advice but I'm in a similar situation. Not quite as violent with the wall punching, but everything else is the same, down to the staying because I'm not actually being hit. It's awful, I would say leave if you can. I posted something very similar recently and someone told me that the very fact that you are unhappy is a reason to leave. You're not his prisoner and you don't need his permission to leave him. I just can't face it myself, but can see it would be the right thing.

Op i'm sorry xx it's a horrible realisation. And you're right about it being easy to slip into.

But you really deserve better and so do your kids. Womens Aid will be your first port of call if you want practical advice x

Same for me having a gap in my defences to men that drink, you've done the hardest part by calling out your denial. The right path isn't the one where you convince yourself it's ok. Did you know that what you've described fits the definition of assault? it doesn't need to be physical. It is that serious, it's not a matter of opinion I'm so sorry you've experienced this and have this ahead. Reach out to the support other posters have mentioned and take little steps one by one to change this and believe you can, good luck x