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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish I could send this woman a bunch of flowers?

109 replies

Sausagenbacon · 13/01/2023 19:55

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/mum-who-hit-boy-12-8022761

So, a group of 20 or so kids are throwing mud and rocks at people using the river. A paddleboarder remonstrates with them, they argue back and she hits one with a paddle.
I think she's very brave. And the journalist doesn't think of asking the family how they feel about their son/grandson enjoying himself chucking rocks at people! It's all, poor boy.
If I knew where she lived, I'd send her a bunch of flowers.

OP posts:
OxPeg · 13/01/2023 22:32

I’d have been strongly tempted to do exactly the same as she did. I’ve no sympathy whatsoever for the little twerp but a lot for the woman. A 12yo is responsible for choosing to pelt someone with rocks, FFS - we’re not talking about toddlers here.

Againstmachine · 13/01/2023 22:39

OxPeg · 13/01/2023 22:32

I’d have been strongly tempted to do exactly the same as she did. I’ve no sympathy whatsoever for the little twerp but a lot for the woman. A 12yo is responsible for choosing to pelt someone with rocks, FFS - we’re not talking about toddlers here.

Absolutely people seem to forget people of that age are capable or murder. And many other crimes.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 13/01/2023 23:03

Feral shit met feral shit. Definitely should have been left as a case of "fuck about and find out" for the kid imo.

iklboo · 14/01/2023 16:35

Calling the police would have been the public service

Vanishingly unlikely they'd have actually turned up.

Iamclearlyamug · 14/01/2023 16:41

@Pumperthepumper ASBOs, cautions for threatening/anti social behavior, dispersal orders, curfews - all viable options.

Also parents should be keeping control of their kids. I appreciate parents might not always know where their kids are when out with friends, but I can guarantee if my child went out with friends and I was later informed by the police of that sort of behaviour, they would certainly not be going out unsupervised until they prove they could behave in the correct manner!

ChungusBoi · 14/01/2023 16:43

iklboo · 14/01/2023 16:35

Calling the police would have been the public service

Vanishingly unlikely they'd have actually turned up.

True, perhaps this factored in to her taking things into her own hands.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 16:53

Iamclearlyamug · 14/01/2023 16:41

@Pumperthepumper ASBOs, cautions for threatening/anti social behavior, dispersal orders, curfews - all viable options.

Also parents should be keeping control of their kids. I appreciate parents might not always know where their kids are when out with friends, but I can guarantee if my child went out with friends and I was later informed by the police of that sort of behaviour, they would certainly not be going out unsupervised until they prove they could behave in the correct manner!

That all happens after a crime has been committed though. And so far nobody has any suggestions on how we can encourage people to parent better.

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 18:43

@Pumperthepumper I told (and agreed with) you early interventions etc so it has been talked about to get parents to do a better job.... Sure start was an excellent idea.

BUT you also have to deal with the here and now, giving that kid £500 for throwing rocks at a paddle boarder is hardly the correct thing to do.

In fact, its the very worst thing, should never have got to court.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 18:46

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 18:43

@Pumperthepumper I told (and agreed with) you early interventions etc so it has been talked about to get parents to do a better job.... Sure start was an excellent idea.

BUT you also have to deal with the here and now, giving that kid £500 for throwing rocks at a paddle boarder is hardly the correct thing to do.

In fact, its the very worst thing, should never have got to court.

That’s not why he got it! He got it for the assault.

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 19:06

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 18:46

That’s not why he got it! He got it for the assault.

...end result is the same.

...throw stones, get a very small cut... go past jail and collect £500

yoyo1234 · 14/01/2023 19:14

Police most likely would not have turned up. If did most likely children not identified nothing happen.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 19:16

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 19:06

...end result is the same.

...throw stones, get a very small cut... go past jail and collect £500

No, it’s not. You don’t even know he was the one throwing stones. And you really should expect better from a grown adult than a 12 year old. No kid deserves to be assaulted.

GirlsNightOut33 · 14/01/2023 20:26

No kid deserves to be assaulted.

This wasn't an innocent child walking by. He "squared up" and acted in a threatening manner after a gnag of 30 were throwing rocks. at what point does an adult step in? after the first one? after a toddler is blinded?

The little shit has just been shown that playing the victim if you're part of a criminal gang = win.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 20:31

GirlsNightOut33 · 14/01/2023 20:26

No kid deserves to be assaulted.

This wasn't an innocent child walking by. He "squared up" and acted in a threatening manner after a gnag of 30 were throwing rocks. at what point does an adult step in? after the first one? after a toddler is blinded?

The little shit has just been shown that playing the victim if you're part of a criminal gang = win.

He’s twelve years old. There’s no excuse for assaulting a child.

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 20:53

He’s twelve years old. There’s no excuse for assaulting a child

Don't necessarily disagree but what has really happened here is that a 12yo thug has (for him) learnt a very valuable lesson... he can do as he likes.

He has had no punishment or corrective action... the opposite, he was gifted £500.

The woman should have got a caution, he, being over the age of criminal responsibility, should have ended up in a juvenile court.. even if it had ended in not guilty etc.. at least he and his parents would have paid some cost.

He and the family are literally laughing at us all, including you.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 20:56

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 20:53

He’s twelve years old. There’s no excuse for assaulting a child

Don't necessarily disagree but what has really happened here is that a 12yo thug has (for him) learnt a very valuable lesson... he can do as he likes.

He has had no punishment or corrective action... the opposite, he was gifted £500.

The woman should have got a caution, he, being over the age of criminal responsibility, should have ended up in a juvenile court.. even if it had ended in not guilty etc.. at least he and his parents would have paid some cost.

He and the family are literally laughing at us all, including you.

He and the family are literally laughing at us all, including you. Again, you don’t know that. Maybe they beat the living shit out of him afterwards, who knows?

Talking about grown adults being able to assault twelve year olds if they feel it was justified is a dangerous road to go down. And it’s interesting to me that you think a twelve year old should be able to exercise more self-control than an adult.

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 21:07

Talking about grown adults being able to assault twelve year olds if they feel it was justified is a dangerous road to go down. And it’s interesting to me that you think a twelve year old should be able to exercise more self-control than an adult

Provocation.. thats why... the adult was just enjoying her day, the child.. and bare in mind the law says he is aware of his actions ..deliberately and knowingly attacked an innocent person. ... stones hitting a persons head have been known to kill.

A caution for that woman, may have had serious repercussions in her home and work life, its not as if she is getting away with her assault is it?

My point, which you are ignoring, is this boy escaped any consequence in law.

We don't know if he was beaten, i sincerely hope not, it wouldn't change his behaviour, esp if thats a common thing.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 21:13

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 21:07

Talking about grown adults being able to assault twelve year olds if they feel it was justified is a dangerous road to go down. And it’s interesting to me that you think a twelve year old should be able to exercise more self-control than an adult

Provocation.. thats why... the adult was just enjoying her day, the child.. and bare in mind the law says he is aware of his actions ..deliberately and knowingly attacked an innocent person. ... stones hitting a persons head have been known to kill.

A caution for that woman, may have had serious repercussions in her home and work life, its not as if she is getting away with her assault is it?

My point, which you are ignoring, is this boy escaped any consequence in law.

We don't know if he was beaten, i sincerely hope not, it wouldn't change his behaviour, esp if thats a common thing.

How do you know he was throwing the stones though?

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 21:25

errrrr thats why i said earlier... the juvenile court would decide.... either way.

Equally you don't know he wasn't.

Still not addressing the issue here are you? he was rewarded for bad behaviour.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 21:28

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 21:25

errrrr thats why i said earlier... the juvenile court would decide.... either way.

Equally you don't know he wasn't.

Still not addressing the issue here are you? he was rewarded for bad behaviour.

No he wasn’t. He got compensation for being assaulted. None of his friends got money for throwing rocks either.

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 22:14

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 21:28

No he wasn’t. He got compensation for being assaulted. None of his friends got money for throwing rocks either.

From his pov he got £500... he wont see the difference...

anyway, you re not just getting it & in a few years time, he'll be in prison, no small thanks to folk who treat these thugs with kid gloves.

Pumperthepumper · 14/01/2023 22:19

Alexandra2001 · 14/01/2023 22:14

From his pov he got £500... he wont see the difference...

anyway, you re not just getting it & in a few years time, he'll be in prison, no small thanks to folk who treat these thugs with kid gloves.

I’m pretty sure he will see the difference, what with him being the only one who was assaulted and all.

Actually, the person most likely to end up in prison in this scenario is the adult who responds with violence.

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 22:32

Did you see the photo of the damage she did?

This wasn't a light tap with a stick it wad a brutal assault with a paddle.

atteatimeeverybodyagrees · 14/01/2023 22:33

And what on earth would she want a bunch of flowers for?

Oinkypig · 14/01/2023 22:39

@Alexandra2001 you are deranged, yes there was a group of children throwing rocks - awful no doubt. He may or may not have been one of that group but the women could and should have phoned the police. She kept going back and the 12 year old child may have “squared up” but you know he was 12.

This thread is awful, there was a group of children throwing stones but they don’t have brains as developed as fully grown people. That’s why there is youth offending facilities.

The only person found guilty in court of anything has been this women. I’m very sure she could have phoned the police on those boys, given there seems to be lots of footage available to the CPS and police if a case for an offence could be made against the group of children could be made I’m sure it would have been or used in her defence, but it wasn’t.