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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm in trouble

324 replies

drintrouble · 13/01/2023 11:15

Changed name as don't want to be found out.
I'm in trouble. Can anyone give me some encouragement/advice how to go about it.
Last winter I have passed my driving test. And 2 weeks later crashed my car into somebody else- totally my fault. Came out, gave the other driver, a woman, my details, all the info. She did not give me anything of hers, except, her husband's telephone number. I took a video and few pictures of her car. The only damage that I could see was broken plastic on the taillight. Rang her husband same evening, we spoke about the damage, but, strangely, he kept repeating that he was driving at the time of the accident! There were no other people in the car, just the woman driver. In the phone conversation the man said that the damage was not bad, he could buy light on ebay and, if I gave him the money, we could do it privately. I wasn't sure about it, but agreed. He rang me next morning and demanded £4,000. I was absolutely certain that that was over the top and asked if he could take his car to my mechanic. He refused. Then I said I prefer to go through my insurance.
When I checked my insurance documents, I found out it ran out literally 2 days before the accident. Totally my fault, but because if lockdowns and instructor shortages and tests not being available for months, I have bought insurance just for a month before my test, and completely forgot about it.
I have panicked, rang the man, told him that I am refusing to pay £4k and asked him to come with realistic price. Never told him that I did not have insurance.
Nothing happened for a year and yesterday my husband, who is registered on this car, have received a letter from an insurance company asking him to answer questions about the accident, mentioning the female driver- me.
I know I am in trouble BIG TIME, but how would you act? Tell the truth, but insist that the other car was driven by the female- letter doesn't say who the other driver was. I know that something dodgy is going on (from my side as well!), but what to do now? I have a female driver after the accident on a video, when she was talking to her husband. She couldn't leave the site of the accident fast enough.
Please, don't kick me for what I did, but I have thought £4k is excessive and have panicked about the insurance.
What would you do?

OP posts:
Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:06

She wasn't in a car when I crashed into her- she came out of the shop afterwards.

NerrSnerr · 13/01/2023 17:07

Nameneeded · 13/01/2023 17:02

She was in the drivers eat though no ? There is no other reason for them to lie. She was clearly either not insured or without a licence. So play them at their own game and see if they back down. They are pulling a fast one

The OP said in her second post

She wasn't in a car when I crashed into her- she came out of the shop afterwards.

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:07

EarringsandLipstick · 13/01/2023 17:05

@Ursuala

Not necessarily.

I've just had reason to add someone to a policy temporarily. No further notification thereafter.

Has it expired yet though?

Nameneeded · 13/01/2023 17:10

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:04

No she wasn't - she was in the shop!

Show quote history

Aah okay I didn't see that sorry. Was the woman by herself coming out of the shop ? Regardless though, my point is that they are dodgy people looking to make some cash off OP and the only way to deal with these sorts of people is to call their bluff.

Notaclue252 · 13/01/2023 17:12

OP stated she had insurance to cover her before she passed her test, therefore, as a learner driver.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 13/01/2023 17:12

Problem is he may have been driving. There is nothing now to say the woman drove. She could have been in one shop him in another and he was the one driving as they stated.

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:15

No one was driving.

Parked car. Stationary.

woman came out. Doesn’t matter if she’s a driver or not. Would ONLY matter if the OP could somehow prove her husband wasn’t in the vicinity ie another shop (hence the woman calling her husband). And seeing as the OP can’t do that….

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:15

Aah okay I didn't see that sorry. Was the woman by herself coming out of the shop ? Regardless though, my point is that they are dodgy people looking to make some cash off OP and the only way to deal with these sorts of people is to call their bluff.

They are dodgy and trying it on but there is no bluff to call in this circumstance thanks the fact the car was vacant at the time of the accident and resulting claim

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:16

The video footage of her on the phone is worthless.

this was a STATIONARY vehicle.

all they need to say is that she was calling her husband as he had gone to another shop.

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:17

. She couldn't leave the site of the accident fast enough.

did you film her driving off OP?

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:21

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:17

. She couldn't leave the site of the accident fast enough.

did you film her driving off OP?

I doubt that matters - there is no claim against her doing that with the insurance company. She didn't get caught and no accident happened

Pigeonpair1 · 13/01/2023 17:25

Suspect the woman shouldn't have been driving (banned or no licence). I think others are right - call his bluff and say you will be making clear his wife was in the driving seat!

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:25

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:21

I doubt that matters - there is no claim against her doing that with the insurance company. She didn't get caught and no accident happened

Show quote history

Only an issue if transpires she was uninsured on the vehicle.

wouldn’t mitigate OP’s cock ups but it would mean that at least they also got punished!

niugboo · 13/01/2023 17:35

You need to be honest. There’s literally no other option at this point.

Obviously give the facts about the accident, female driver etc, but none of that is going to alter you broke the law and will be punished appropriately.

ShakespearesBlister · 13/01/2023 17:35

drintrouble · 13/01/2023 14:04

Car I was driving is my DH car. He is the owner and has an insurance. We only have this one car. I have had an insurance as a second/learner driver on that car. The insurance ran out 2 days before the accident. I did not know about it at the time. I gave the female driver (wrote on the piece of paper, as she did not want to put it in her phone, which I found strange) my name, surname, tel nr, said who I was insured with. She did not tell me her name or her phone number. I wasn't sure if I should insist on that, but I took her husband's phone number (again, she didn't tel me his name). Somehow I was a little bit shaken after the accident and assumed everything will be sorted by our insurance.
Luckily, I took a little video of the damage and her talking to her husband on the phone.
We sorted our car without an insurance claim ourselves- it was a little dent to the front/side. She wasn't in a car when I crashed into her- she came out of the shop afterwards.
Accident happened 15 February 2022. I have passed my driving test 2 weeks prior that. Needed insurance on our car to practice before my driving test, but didn't want to pay for a year, as I was not sure I will pass and it was almost impossible to book driving test straight after lockdowns- who tried in Spring/summer 2022, those people know how bad backlog at the DVLA was.
Not sure why are you accusing me of lying.

Show quote history

Your story has changed? First you crashed into someone else and got out and gave them your details, then there was nobody in the car and they came out of a shop afterwards? Try not to do the same when you tell the insurance company what happened lol

niugboo · 13/01/2023 17:36

@Pigeonpair1 and she’s going to lie to insurance company too and commit fraud?

ShakespearesBlister · 13/01/2023 17:38

niugboo · 13/01/2023 17:36

@Pigeonpair1 and she’s going to lie to insurance company too and commit fraud?

Seeing as OP had only just passed her test it is possible she may be banned and have to re take her driving test.

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:38

wouldn’t mitigate OP’s cock ups but it would mean that at least they also got punished!

I'm really not sure the police have any interest in chasing up year old allegations of someone driving off on a car that may or may not have been insured.

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:39

I suspect the OP, more than anyone, knows she’s in the shit

Caldecot · 13/01/2023 17:40

I had a woman go into the back of me a few years ago. Turned out she was driving without insurance. My insurance company didn't care and said they don't report it to the police, despite my having all her details.

niugboo · 13/01/2023 17:40

@ShakespearesBlister and what do you think will happen if she commits insurance fraud? Balloons in the post?

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:43

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 17:38

wouldn’t mitigate OP’s cock ups but it would mean that at least they also got punished!

I'm really not sure the police have any interest in chasing up year old allegations of someone driving off on a car that may or may not have been insured.

Thankfully policing In this country doesn’t work like that

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:44

If there was video footage of someone driving vehicle uninsured

but I doubt the op actually got her driving off

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 17:45

Caldecot · 13/01/2023 17:40

I had a woman go into the back of me a few years ago. Turned out she was driving without insurance. My insurance company didn't care and said they don't report it to the police, despite my having all her details.

No YOUR insurance didn’t report.

HER insurance would have reported.

thirdtimeluckyorwhat · 13/01/2023 17:46

If this is a year later I would ignore the letter they are chancing their arm