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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm in trouble

324 replies

drintrouble · 13/01/2023 11:15

Changed name as don't want to be found out.
I'm in trouble. Can anyone give me some encouragement/advice how to go about it.
Last winter I have passed my driving test. And 2 weeks later crashed my car into somebody else- totally my fault. Came out, gave the other driver, a woman, my details, all the info. She did not give me anything of hers, except, her husband's telephone number. I took a video and few pictures of her car. The only damage that I could see was broken plastic on the taillight. Rang her husband same evening, we spoke about the damage, but, strangely, he kept repeating that he was driving at the time of the accident! There were no other people in the car, just the woman driver. In the phone conversation the man said that the damage was not bad, he could buy light on ebay and, if I gave him the money, we could do it privately. I wasn't sure about it, but agreed. He rang me next morning and demanded £4,000. I was absolutely certain that that was over the top and asked if he could take his car to my mechanic. He refused. Then I said I prefer to go through my insurance.
When I checked my insurance documents, I found out it ran out literally 2 days before the accident. Totally my fault, but because if lockdowns and instructor shortages and tests not being available for months, I have bought insurance just for a month before my test, and completely forgot about it.
I have panicked, rang the man, told him that I am refusing to pay £4k and asked him to come with realistic price. Never told him that I did not have insurance.
Nothing happened for a year and yesterday my husband, who is registered on this car, have received a letter from an insurance company asking him to answer questions about the accident, mentioning the female driver- me.
I know I am in trouble BIG TIME, but how would you act? Tell the truth, but insist that the other car was driven by the female- letter doesn't say who the other driver was. I know that something dodgy is going on (from my side as well!), but what to do now? I have a female driver after the accident on a video, when she was talking to her husband. She couldn't leave the site of the accident fast enough.
Please, don't kick me for what I did, but I have thought £4k is excessive and have panicked about the insurance.
What would you do?

OP posts:
keepareaclean · 13/01/2023 12:17

You've done 95% of things right inthis situation, unfortunately the 5% is quite a biggy but get it all out in the open and go from there

I think you got your figures the wrong way round.

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/01/2023 12:23

Sounds like she wasnt insured to drive that car either. You have to be honest.

2bazookas · 13/01/2023 12:23

You have to come clean to your own insurers right away, as Testina suggested.

Hellsmovie · 13/01/2023 12:24

If they inform the police .you'll probably be looking at points. And if I've read your 1st post correctly you've have your licence less then 2yrs which means you lose it and shave to take all tests again

FlickFlackTrap · 13/01/2023 12:24

OP please get some legal advice. Do not reply to their insurers and admit having no insurance in place.
take your own advice regarding driving without insurance and then failing to disclose an accident to your new insurers.
Personally I wouldn’t put anything in writing until I’d had legal advice.

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:30

Does the letter state the exact date of the accident? It was a long time ago and presumably could be disputed seeing no one reported it at the time ?

Hellsmovie · 13/01/2023 12:36

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:30

Does the letter state the exact date of the accident? It was a long time ago and presumably could be disputed seeing no one reported it at the time ?

That sounds alot like encouraging insurance fruad. Something that if it was found out would impact op for life

Hellsmovie · 13/01/2023 12:38

Hellsmovie · 13/01/2023 12:24

If they inform the police .you'll probably be looking at points. And if I've read your 1st post correctly you've have your licence less then 2yrs which means you lose it and shave to take all tests again

*Have to take tests again

Not shave

Mannymoomin · 13/01/2023 12:39

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:30

Does the letter state the exact date of the accident? It was a long time ago and presumably could be disputed seeing no one reported it at the time ?

Do not do this, lying will only create more lies, and the consequences of doing so will be more. Even if you did this, presumably photos and videos will have the date they were taken so can easily be discovered

Testina · 13/01/2023 12:39

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:30

Does the letter state the exact date of the accident? It was a long time ago and presumably could be disputed seeing no one reported it at the time ?

Don’t be silly.
Not least because her evidence that their claim is fraudulent is a time stamped video.

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:40

I wasn't encouraging anything. I asked if he even got the date correct seeing it was a long time ago and he doesn't sound the most reliable fellow.

DrWhoNowww · 13/01/2023 12:42

The letter to your husband should ask him to confirm if he was the driver or not and if not does he have details of who is.

obviously your husband will fill this in to say he wasn’t driving and you were, here are your details - he wasn’t at the accident and therefore it’s not appropriate for him to share any details of the accident.

you should then get a separate letter asking you to confirm details - in my experience these will be a list of questions asking who was in the car, circumstances leading up to the accident (sometimes they ask for a drawing or photos if it was on a roundabout or junction). You answer this truthfully - do not lie. You may be asked for your insurance details at this point, you might not. If you’re not asked, don’t tell them.

If you are asked, tell the truth. The other parties insurance company will then deal with the claim from their side as an uninsured driver, That should be where your involvement with their insurance company ends.

The other parties insurance may report you to the police as part of their regular reporting. They may not. The police then might pursue it and you get points and a fine - as PP have pointed out as you’ve been driving such a short amount of time you may lose your licence.

However, you also might not - I’ve been hit by uninsured drivers before who I know has no legal repercussions - it depends on the police force, how busy they are, what they’re targeting at the time.

Like a PP said, you’re not going to prison for this so just answer everything you’re asked truthfully.

XelaM · 13/01/2023 12:43

Dillydollydingdong · 13/01/2023 11:21

If you took photo evidence of the damage (or lack of it) to their car, I'd ignore the demand for £4000. Tell them to go through their insurance and make it clear that you know the woman was driving. You probably won't hear any more about it. They're trying it on.

Have you read the OP's post? 🤔

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 12:43

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:40

I wasn't encouraging anything. I asked if he even got the date correct seeing it was a long time ago and he doesn't sound the most reliable fellow.

Re read your post.

Clearly encouraging

Sqqueeeeeeee · 13/01/2023 12:43

I’m going to give you some experienced but morally bad advice. I understand this is morally wrong and illegal but (in my opinion) the people who lose out are the guy/woman trying to scam you and an insurance company who can deal with the loss. I think you fucked up but the impact on you relative to the fuck up (likely being quite literally black-listed from getting car insurance) would be disproportionate to your fuck up.

I’d lie. I’d say I know nothing about the accident. I’d say that a year ago, you got a note of your bonnet from someone who’d hit your car whilst it was parked, that there was no damage to your vehicle, you phoned the number and the guy was trying to accuse you of hitting his car but that you were parked and not in your vehicle. You went along with it on the phone assuming it was some kind of scam to see where it went and then, when they messaged you with a ridiculous quote asking you to pay, you were reassured they were trying to scam you so told them to go through insurance - and they never did.

This all depends on what evidence they have though. Surely, this far on, they have no CCTV footage, no reliable witnesses, no actual proof of anything. They presumably have the messages you sent and potentially a recording of the phone call. So your story needs to align with what that said. It’s also pretty clear no one informed the police or insurance within the required time frame. If I were you, I’d ascertain exactly what proof they could possibly have against you and then I’d deny deny deny within the parameters of that proof.

I’ve got my hard hat on.

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 12:44

There really is one and oh one truly pertinent detail here

The OP was UNINSURED when the incident occurred

Againstmachine · 13/01/2023 12:44

I would probably ignore these people and just deal with your insurance company. The other driver didn’t provide the details she was legally obliged to. Now they’re trying it on and it’s failed. Don’t communicate with the other driver any more.

The OP wasn't Insured at the time of the accident, there is no 'your' insurance company to deal.

It sounds like the other party is trying it on but unfortunately your side is very messy too.

Deathbyfluffy · 13/01/2023 12:44

Echoing the majority here - just be honest, fill in the correct details (completely correct, that is) and wait to hear back.
Stress at all times that there was a woman driving (at the end of the day, if they refused to help you why should you help them?) and provide them with any proof you have.

Then you'll just need to take whatever is coming to you.
I assume you've been driving since, and assumed you told the new company about the bump but marked it as 'zero cost' as no claim was made?
If you failed to mention it at all, you might find you're in for a bit more of a bumpy ride when the new company get wind via the insurance claims database.

Testina · 13/01/2023 12:46

liveforsummer · 13/01/2023 12:40

I wasn't encouraging anything. I asked if he even got the date correct seeing it was a long time ago and he doesn't sound the most reliable fellow.

“Does the letter state the exact date of the accident? It was a long time ago and presumably could be disputed seeing no one reported it at the time ?“

That’s not what you said at all!
But keep backtracking.
OP know the date, and knows she wasn’t insured, she checked at the time.

Now if the date was wrong and put her inside her insured period, I can see why you may say - well that’s lucky, don’t correct it.
But you are suggesting she might dispute it.
You obviously meant, to lie.

RunnerBum · 13/01/2023 12:46

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 12:44

There really is one and oh one truly pertinent detail here

The OP was UNINSURED when the incident occurred

I’d say that it’s a near-certainty that the other driver was uninsured too

Kinnorafron · 13/01/2023 12:47

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 12:10

You
You are indeed in trouble.

the date of the incident will confirm you were driving uninsured.

Only one thing for it. Admit and be honest about everything and accept that you will likely lose your license for a period of time and be heavily fined

Only one thing for it. Admit and be honest about everything and accept that you will likely lose your license for a period of time and be heavily fined
Utter bullshit - no-one's getting banned for no insurance unless they already have a lot of points. Why do people post ill-informed ignorant bollocks?

Hellno44 · 13/01/2023 12:49

Testina · 13/01/2023 11:22

I would respond honestly to the insurance company, stating:

  • these are the facts of the accident
  • that you met your obligation to provide details
  • the other driver requested to settle directly
  • you decided against that because the other driver started lying about who was driving
  • on checking your policy you realised you’d made a date mistake
  • you immediately rectified that and took out insurance
  • you didn’t hear from the other driver again and assumed that was because they also had an insurance issue to cause them to lie about who was driving

Let their insurance company tell them that the other party disputes who was driving.

Stay honest.

You’re not going to prison for a lapsed policy you didn’t lie to claim on!

I would do this.

WhenDovesFly · 13/01/2023 12:49

If you're caught driving without insurance as a new driver then you'll land 6 penalty points which is enough for them to revoke your licence and you'll have to take your test again, so be prepared for that coming back on you if this goes further.

If you took out an insurance policy without mentioning the accident, then it'll invalidate your insurance.

What I'm confused by is you saying your husband received a letter. This indicates the insurance policy is his and you're maybe a named driver on his policy? If you're the main driver, and he's taken out a policy in his name with you as a named driver in order to get cheaper premiums, then the insurance provider won't be too happy about that either.

All that aside, it does sound as though the other people are trying to hide something. Maybe she's unlicenced, uninsured, already has lots of points, is banned... who knows?

Ursuala · 13/01/2023 12:50

RunnerBum · 13/01/2023 12:46

I’d say that it’s a near-certainty that the other driver was uninsured too

trust the Op?

someone who wasn’t insured
and
has refrained from being honest with her partner. The keeper of the vehicle.

BillyNotQuiteNoMates · 13/01/2023 12:50

Sounds like you’ve been driving for a year with no insurance. Tbh, I’d say to stop speaking to them and get some legal advice. And get some insurance asap.