To have snapped at colleague

[Ididnthityouharold]

Well I didn't shout or anything, just told him firmly. I've posted here previously and been told that he's mansplaining, but sadly the situation hasn't improved and it's getting me down.
It's a care home I used to work in and I've recently returned in the last couple of weeks. Granted a lot of the residents are new as to be expected, but I've gotten to grips with learning new names, needs and likes etc. Now which is great.
I don't claim to be absolutely perfect at it, nobody is, but surely the manager wouldn't have hired me again if I were bad and I'd have had complaints from here and other homes.
This man started a few months ago, I think some of this may be a language barrier to an extent too. Last week it was constant "You're new, you're a learner, you're new."
Our paperwork is relatively straightforward to fill out, I initial it so if I'd been doing something wrong I'd have surely had comments now, but honestly it's relatively foolproof. However sometimes when I'm doing mine he'll hover over me watching and ask "Did you put X?" Twice. I always tell him clearly "Yes, I did."
Care work is hard but it doesn't really change. There's no revolutionary new way to change someone's pad or to wash them. I'm sick of hearing "Right, this is what you do now, this is what we're going to do, this is how you do X."
I KNOW. Yesterday, he tried to tell me how to put a towel down. I just told him, 'Yes, I already know how to." And he went, "You know?."
It's just the constant rude, patronising "no no no, wait wait, I'll do it/let me do it."
"make sure he doesn't fall off the bed."
I'm not going to let somebody fall off the bed, I've successfully managed not to in 2 years.

When I'm changing someone: "Slowly, Slowly, gently."
I'm hardly going to rip someone's clothes off them.
Last night I'd had enough and I told him "It's ok, you really don't need to tell me everything to do."
Our resident who has capacity actually agreed and told him "Yeah, she's no stranger to this, she's already worked here you know!"

He's nice otherwise but I'm starting to feel gaslighted and like I'm rubbish at my job. I am totally open to guidance e.g. "Margaret prefers X way of being changed." Etc. But that's not what he's doing. Other carers there seem to trust me. They might say "can you help me change John" or whatever but not talk to me like I'm an idiot.

I often just smile, nod and grit my teeth but I've told him several times that I don't need constant mentoring from him.
It's a shame as he's nice otherwise, I do think it's just his way though.
The other night he was telling me how to do a theory test and how to do driving lessons. I didn't ask for his help on any of it, I did my bloody theory in 2009.

I'm sick of hearing "Right, this is what you do now, this is what we're going to do, this is how you do X."

YABU

You’ve been there 2 weeks and so he’s of course going to be showing you the ropes. I’d be more annoyed if he didn’t help you.

You sound like a bit of a know it all.
Yes you used to work there but he knows these people much better than you.

I also think it was very rude of you to have gone against him in front of a resident.
You could have had a quiet word with him about it.

I work with children and we have had people return from previously working there and they know the place and systems very well but they don’t know the children and their needs.
They would also never go against what I’d said to a student in front of them and I would continue to help them even after 2 weeks. I would then start telling them to ask me if they need anything.

Give it more than 2 weeks and then have a chat to your manager.
In the meantime tell this person what you’re doing eg I’ll do X and then initial - so he gets that you understand it and is more comfortable leaving you alone with the residents.
Tell him you’ve got it and that you’ll ask if there’s something you’re not sure of.

Has he been told to tell you what to do Op?

If not & he already knows that you have done this job then he sounds really hard to work with.

After 30 odd years of working in the care industry there is always that one person that knows it all and is better than everyone else.
you usually find they are the ones with no life, that always pick up every spare shifts and are bitter because of it …

I had a very similar situation in my last job (different industry). The "advice" from this colleague was constant, which wasn't helped by the fact that we both speak a language that's different from the team language. So very hard to explain to colleagues or proof to the line manager. I tried on multiple occasions to approach the subject with my colleague directly, which improved things for a short while. It was bullying plain and simple. I should have sought support from management much sooner though because when I finally snapped I lost my rag completely and as a result the manager took her side and fired me. So my advice is to speak to your boss as soon as you can.