Family holiday

[Fullrecoveryispossible]

Going away with my dp, sister and her dh with their 2 kids, and my brother, his wife and their three kids. We are hiring a big cottage to stay in and they are both wanting to split the cost 3 ways. AIBU in standing my ground that me and dp shouldn’t be paying as much as they are considering it’s just us?

If money is particularly tight, split by the number of bedrooms being taken up. Also depends how much you value these holidays. If you value them and want them to happen again, I personally wouldn’t quibble over it.

Split 3 ways and you get first pick of bedroom, hopefully with ensuite, or aplit my number of bedrooms

Are you particularly struggling financially? Raising children costs A LOT. I understand you haven't made that choice. But when we've been in similar situations, we've maybe paid for one of the kids to go out or split the bill equally (before we had kids) so that those with kids weren't paying so much more. Is it an option to split 3 ways? It would be a nice thing to do for close family.

I’d split the cost by room so if you need 5 rooms then you pay 1\5

My feelings exactly.

it isn’t OP’s responsibility to cover the cost of her family’s kids because they cost ALOT. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford them!

We need to know how many bedrooms there are - and if they're significantly different in size/luxury/facilities etc.

It’s not up to other people to pay for them though?

It depends on circumstances. If you’re rolling in it and happy being childless and want to treat someone then that’s one thing. But imagine not being able to have children and then also being expected to pay for someone else’s.

I don't think it's unreasonable if you did split by three, if you and your DP had suggested it; but it's well cheeky that suggestion coming from them. They may want to pay less, but I want to pay half-price for my trolley of shopping in Asda - doesn't mean I can!

This.

If you have the means and the desire to offer then that’s great. But them expecting it pushes it into CFer territory for me.

I agree that, whilst children are expensive, that expense needs to be borne by the parents. They're the ones who decided to have the kids and who receive child allowance and any child tax credits/universal credit based on having them. Yes, they're OP's nieces/nephews, but they're OP's sibling's sons/daughters!

Surely it's split 3 ways, end of. I get your siblings have children.... But those kids are hardly responsible for the extra costs the incur by needing rooms...

Depends how much you want to go on holiday with them. Like @Ursuala said above my family are so happy to support us by paying more rhan the person by persin split and are very generous. They want to spend time with their nieces / grandkids. Having kids means our flights are also double the price.

Is it 3 equal rooms? Does it include food etc? These things matter, although in fairness I'd be happy paying it as they have just divided it between the paying couples.

Surely it's split 3 ways, end of. I get your siblings have children.... But those kids are hardly responsible for the extra costs the incur by needing rooms...

It can't come as a surprise that parents usually pay for everything that their children need, can it?!

We would always split by adults - children don't have any means of contributing financially and if it was a family trip I wouldn't begrudge my nieces and nephews a bed.

I didn't have my children until age 39/42 so spent a good 20yrs as "the childless couple/single" My disposable income was far bigger than theirs and I never minded splitting something communal between the adults (meals were different strangely, as a couple we paid for ours).

I sometimes go away with my friend and mam and will often take one of my children - we split accommodation between adults, they'd be horrified to ask me to pay more (I have offered).

I go away with dh, under 16 dc and working adult dc. We split costs with adults paying equal split.

Should have added I meant for accommodation.. Food wise we pay prob 60% at least and 2 dc pay 20 % each. Top up food bought by us also. We never eat out on holiday!

We've always split by bedroom in my family because it's usually the fairest way to cover it. We're all in a fairly similar financial situation though, I might look at it differently if it was going to be a big challenge for one branch to pay their share.

This. All of it.

Split by how many rooms each family uses.

We go away as a large group (around 22) every year, a mixture of families and the child free. We go for a straight split between how many bedrooms you’re going to occupy.

We order a big food and booze delivery and that gets split into booze (split between however many drinkers there are) and food - split into adults and half per child. Always works well, no squabbles in almost 20 years of doing it.
If we go out to eat we tend to pay per family.
Top up shops tend to be done most days (for forgotten ingredients or booze, logs etc and is just paid for by whoever goes to the shops) - it all must even out in the end!
Life is way too short to fall out over who had 2 less beers than someone else or who bought a bag of logs.

My point is

these “people” who would think that… aren’t the “people” I would befriends with let alone holiday with

But so many mumsnetters seem to holiday with family and or friends that they despise!

Arguing over this
Doesn’t bode well

surely this is how it would play out in a loving family

“Needless to say sis… you pay pro rate for fact that you’re only taking one room”

“oh don’t worry about that, i would love to contribute towards my nephew / niece joining us” OR if money an issue “oh thanks sis, appreciate it”