Panicking about having another baby!

[chocolatebuttonlover]

I'm posting here for traffic - but feel like maybe I do also need to get someone to snap some sense into me, since I'm nearly 20 weeks pregnant, so a bit late to change my mind now!

I have one DC who's 18 months now. She's brilliant, sweet, fun and was relatively easy as a baby - hence why I didn't think twice about trying again with a fairly small age gap.

Today however, I just feel totally like life is falling apart with just one DC. Went to take the dog for a walk to find that the buggy has gone mouldy in the boot of the car.., GREAT.

Drive to parents house to borrow their spare buggy, while she's screaming all the way there, finally get walking and she won't sit in the buggy, falls flat on her face into a pile of mud and the Ddog ends up with a short walk because I'm just so overwhelmed and flustered.

The house is a mess, I've fed her crap all day to keep her happy and I can't even imagine what it's going to be like with a newborn thrown into the mix, breastfeeding, sleep schedules and trying to look after TWO KIDS!!!?

DC does go to nursery one day a week, and grandparents have her twice a week - then DH does one day, and I do one day off work a week. I think we'll try and maintain Dcs routine as much as possible but there will be days where I have both kids without any help and financially I'm not sure I can justify nursery costs if I'm off and not earning as much as I am now

Someone knock some sense into me! Will we cope? How am I going to handle the sleep deprivation? I'm terrified all of a sudden

I had a slightly bigger age gap but dc1 is SN
Get a double buggy, I struggled for two months with a sling and the double was game changer. I bought one from marketplace and it’s been brilliant.
I started out combi feeding dc2 but then she dropped the bottle feeds but bf did mean it was easier to get out and about.

My buggy went mouldy in the car this week and the mould came off with baby wipes!

It’ll be fine and you’ll get into the swing of it really quickly but as pp said don’t plan any weekends away with family!

I combi fed my first. He also had issues with being allergic to milk which might colour my experience somewhat.

It's was fine and it had its pluses for sure. HOWEVER, for me EBF with my second bottle refuser was sooooooo much easier.

I introduced a bottle in the same way at the same time. Eldest went between breast and bottle really easily. He loved his dummy. He was very happy with both. My youngest flatly refused bottles and dummies. She just didn't like them at all.

It's a myth that formula helps them sleep longer so don't do it if that's your only reason. My EBF baby was sleeping 10pm to 5am 90% of the time by 8 weeks.

Ah OP, you will manage. There is 22m between mine and I'm currently holding my sleeping 6w old so I can v much relate to how you're feeling.
Its hard but you do sort of fall into a routine and day by day it gets easier.
My top tips are to get out of the house every day, always carry snacks and take them too as many toddler classes/parks/events as you can to wear your eldest out.

Ouch

I had a lot of success combi feeding. Initially bottle as she was a 37 weeker, small and sleepy, and boob was effort. So she had expressed milk in a bottle for a few weeks. I carried on putting her to the breast once or twice a day and eventually she just got the hang of it, then could go between them with zero difficulty. Was a lifesaver! I used to express a bottle, leave her with DH and get a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep in the early days.

I felt exactly the same when I found out I was pregnant 2nd time round with a 2 year age gap. DD1 was still so demanding on me I couldn’t see how I could care for a newborn too!
but you do, you have to. You learn new ways of coping and soon get into the swing of it. I couldn’t imagine life with just 1 now xxx

good luck.

I remember dreading the second when pregnant and was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t the big shock that the first was and it all worked fine, inc combi feeding.

@Coffeeandchocs are you honestly suggesting that other peoples infertility caused you to have post natal depression? That's a massive fucking reach if there ever was one!!

Try 4 under 5 with very little help.
Yes it's hard but you can and will cope.
Mine are all grown up now. X

That’s not what I was suggesting and if anyone is making a reach it’s you.

What I said didn’t help my post natal depression was people who insinuated that any complaint I made about about motherhood or worry I had about my child meant I didn’t realise I was lucky to have a healthy, happy child.

Whether that’s from someone who can’t have children, older people who have perhaps forgotten how hard the baby days are or people who have no experience of motherhood.

The PP with fertility problems came onto the thread, knowing it was about having a second baby, and left replies that the thread had upset them. If the OP had struck up this conversation with a friend she knew was infertile for example, then she’d have been in the wrong. But she didn’t do that. She asked on a forum full of parents for advice about having a second child. Like has previously been said, it’s like a gratitude competition. People saying you shouldn’t complain or stress about your kids, you should be grateful you have them because some people can’t conceive. That attitude, yes, stopped me from seeking help for my PND when I needed it. I didn’t say others’ infertility caused my PND 🙄

My friend has two with a similarly small age gap and on the worst days she'd claim to follow the "hour a day" screentime rule - aiming for an hour a day of something which wasn't screentime 😁!

OP, I'm 20w pregnant with #2 also. However, my DS will be just shy if 4 when this baby arrives. I'm still anxious about how things will be when they arrive... I don't think a bigger age gap makes you worry any less 🤦🏻‍♀️😩