being intimate with kids in the house

[annierodgers1]

DH will not have sex with me while our child is present in the household. Our child is sixteen and she has bad mental health which means she never leaves the house, not even for school. Me and DH are finding this extremely stressful and I just want some alone time with DH. I asked him if he wanted to have sex but he said he felt uncomfortable, I do not understand this as we are high school sweethearts and used to fool around in our houses when are parents were around. We used to do it when she was younger so I do not understand. AIBU?

Does she ever sleep?

Well, it’s an eye-catching thread title.

She tends to have habits to staying up at around 3/4 AM. While this is difficult to work around, I feel she is at an age where I should not intervine with her sleep schedule.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be having a child at home with mental health issues without the sex issue too. Do you have anything in place to help DD with her MH? Only asking as if so there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what to suggest but what have you always done? My children are young so at night they are pretty much always at home, you just have to adjust accordingly! Your DH doesn't need to feel awkward but I can see why he does. I feel for you both I really do

I would struggle with her being awake and dtd. I'd put a lock on bedroom door and perhaps tv in bedroom on for some background cover noise

What help is your dad getting
I'm sorry but I think this is just as big of an issue as your sex life
Surely she needs fresh air and a normal sleep pattern

At 16 with her mental health issues as well you should be helping with her sleep schedule. Is she getting much support?

Will he not have sex when she’s still asleep in the mornings?

You need to parent your child properly first (and then sort out your sex life).

Solved in one. What more is there that we're can do for you?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can guarantee she'd get out the house once you two start shaking the foundations.

Hmm, I agree with the posters saying what help are you getting for your dd? I do think you could ‘interfere with her sleep schedules’ for what it’s worth.

Did that make you feel good? 🙄

OP, please don’t take the nasty posts to heart. Some people genuinely have no idea how difficult it can be with an older teen who is struggling. Therapist and doctors often tell us to pick our battles, to try and change one thing at a time.

Suddenly dictating to teen is going to cause upset and alienation, not create positive change.

OP, I’m sure this is obvious but you’ve tried other rooms? DH and I have often been ‘fixing something in the kitchen’ or even ‘tidying the shed’. Needs must.

Wow @underneaththeash what a shitty comment. You do realise the two things are not mutually exclusive? She is allowed to worry about her daughter and still desire intimacy simultaneously

Op take no notice of the pathetic comments. Fwiw my husband is the same when my ds11 is at home. Luckily for us he goes to his dads EOW but it gets a bit galling having to wait for a free weekend!

Having walked in on my presents having sex as a teen I won't while they're in the house. Everyone knows their parents have sex they don't need to see / hear it.

How would you feel if you heard her having sex in your house?

Kind of hart to maintain an erection knowing your daughter is in the next room I imagine.

I was mortified hearing my parents when I was younger, so I am so aware of this not happening. But it's hard having older DC's living in the house, it's like a house full of adults now. To the point where I even suggested the shed 🤣🤣🤣

Lock on the door and as silent as possible until they move out 😭

Have a night away once in a while without her
Book a day off work while she is at school
Dtd on weekend mornings while she is sleeping in.

@underneaththeash

nasty

You should be celibate whilst she’s living with you OP

according to some posters

I think this was why the comma was invented.

We tend to have sex on the sofa late at night. It's further from the bedrooms of sleeping (hopefully) teens and we trained them from a young age to not come into the living room at night (they can go to the kitchen, they can shout from the stairs if they need us).

Otherwise, it's random days off during the week. Missed out today as we had a plumber round

We have paper thin walls.

Its a mare.

The elder sister mentioned it once to me - and it killed my sex drive at home. Paranoid!!

Just the 17 year old left now, can’t wait til she hits uni in 9 months.

Doesnt help that they have amazing hearing.

What is the cause of her mental health problems?

Wouldn't bother me. If you have sex standing up/bent over and do it quietly then it doesn't even make much noise at all. I heard my parents having sex once and yeah it's embarrassing, but sex is normal, can't say it was some weird traumatic experience.

I don't know what you can do about her sleep schedule though. You can't force her to sleep. Even without electronics, I would just turn my lamp on and read or write well into the esrly hours as a teen.