borrowing and lending money

[Flute56]

I was in a bad situation recently. I found myself with no money an no way of getting any money because my bank card wa faulty. I was with a frien and when I mentioned the situation I expected her to say would you like e to lend you some money until you can get to the bank

She did not offer which really shocke me because iff the boot was on the other food I would not hesitate and woul say I can offer you a tenner if you like. She knew my situation and that I neeed money to travel to the bank. All she did was take me home in her car because I had no money to pay for transport.

I had to beg the train company to let me travel the following day for nothing by telling the my story and then went to the bank to sort myself out. I hae no branch o my bank in my area as they have closed

When I was in the bank sorting myself out and telling them I had no money a complete stranger walked up to me and gave me 20 quid. He overheard what I said an before I could say no I am ok he had run out of the door so I just took the money he left on the table next to me.

Maybe my friend wa short of money so coul not lendd me any but she did not even mention anything. We have been friends for over 10 year and as soon as I got soe money the next day I would have immediately paid her back

Are you serious? I think you are focussing on the wrong thing.

Your friend did help you out - she gave you a lift home! Maybe that’s what she thought were hinting at.

Sounds like they don't think your trust worthy to pay it back. I don't blame them with an entitled attitude like that.

really?

a friend for years takes you home as a favour but doesn’t lend you money you never asked for, and you’d never speak to them again?

Bollocks would you

Ridiculous

“I shouldn’t have to ask, they should just know, I didn’t ask and they didn’t just know, it’s their fault”

If you were in the Bank, about to withdraw cash from the counter, why would a complete stranger hand you £20. I am very confused.

If you were in the Bank, about to withdraw cash from the counter, why would a complete stranger hand you £20. I am very confused.

The worst thing is the hinting. I refuse point blank to adhere to anyone who hints for something. As we say to the kids when they want something 'Use your words'. You should have asked and you did not. You are at fault here.

YABU and entitled.
You think she is bad friend for not reading your mind and offering you money. You are the bad friend for bitching about her on MN. You could have just outright asked her.

You sound like a lot of the people I used to talk to in my previous job as a debt collector. It was always those with no money at all who couldn't pay due to fraud or card problems. Always an implausable excuse.

The thing is though, if people were open and honest about their situation we would always help them. But if they say 'I've got money but my card doesn't work' we had to take their word for it.

If you need to borrow something, anything, the onus is on you to ask for it. You have a very strange idea of normal

I suppose 'my card doesn't work' would be the modern day equivalent of 'the cheque is in the post'. An outright lie in 90% of cases but plausible enough to make the person asking for money to go away for now.

i should not have to ask anyone to lend me money. It should be automatic

🤨

i should not have to ask anyone to lend me money. It should be automatic.

I would never offer to lend money to someone unless asked.

I'd always assume they had various back up plans - spare card, pay using phone, transfer to a paypal account and order things with that etc.

These days even if your physical card has an issue you can usually still use the card details to pay for things like trainline tickets or a supermarket shop.

How do you know she actually had cash with her; maybe she pays for everything by card too? And you should have asked her if you needed to borrow money, rather than expecting it.

She does not sound like a mate to me

That's a bloody good point, the op could have bought trainline tickets, the chip is irrelevant.

Yabu

You don’t know your friends situation and if you need something just ask. You’ve been friends for that long so should feel comfortable to simply ask her. I understand you’ve hinted and expected an offer but there could be reasons why she didn’t

Apple Pay,Google pay or even swap banks NatWest you can get cash from Tesco/there cash machines by getting a code to input without the card it’s called “emergency cash” had to do it myself as needed actual cash for DC trip and my card had a fault in the chip

Your friend doesn’t owe you anything though. Internet banking would’ve sorted this out surely? I had a friend who I was friends with since high school. One day she phoned me and said she need to get out of the house for a while and could she come over? I said yes. She lived a 20 min walk from my house, but she took a taxi to my house because she ‘couldn’t be bothered with the walk’. I’d never took a taxi to hers, always walked. Anyway when she arrived she proceeded to go on about her money troubles, and told me that she owed three months rent on her house and she was going to get kicked out if she didn’t find £1200 in the next few days. She went on and on about it and it was obvious she wanted me to offer her the money. I didn’t. My DH after she left said to me that he would loan her the money but she’d need to pay him back. I said not to bother, she phoned the taxi to take her home again, it seemed ridiculous that she was taking taxis when they needed to save money. Her parents in law bailed them out in the end so she didn’t loose her home. I used to see her nearly every weekend, and since that day (this was 15 years ago) I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen her. Maybe she thinks that I was being unreasonable for not lending/giving her the £1200? Just for the record I’m not rich at all and that kind of money is a huge to us. If she hadn’t paid us back it would’ve ruined the friendship. As it turns out, not lending/giving her the money ruined the friendship anyway.

Why did a stranger give you £20 if you were having a private convo with bank staff about sorting your card out?

She obviously don’t have it to lend

Never a lender nor a borrower be.

Thought of this thread whilst watching Dragons Den last night. The very last pitch was for a company which would have suited you. It was a lending company which arranged borrowing between family and friends, and the repayment details.