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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bitchy colleagues

54 replies

whatisforteamum · 10/01/2023 16:12

I have a new role where person A doesn't like me so my attempts to be friendly are shrugged off and I'm given short shrift
Person B seemed friendly for a few weeks then decided to ignore me.
Which is fine yet we have to work in the same dept.
I find out B applied for my role so now everything I do is wrong.
A and B keep giggling and gossiping and looking my way which I chose to ignore.
Last week I overheard a comment referring to me as lazy which I'm really not so I pulled them up on it and said I could easily do said minor chore and have been.
The thing is everyone else is fantastic,the money is good and it is local.
If there were a real problem the manager could say.We now have a new one who is aware they don't speak to me.Realistically what can I do.
I know other staff before me left and went back to their old jobs.

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whatisforteamum · 08/05/2023 11:42

Well the real answer is no.
I even got in touch with my old place who asked me to go back for better pay and terms not any weekends though.
The women don't speak or just make snarky comments the difference is being spring I don't feel so depressed and worried about it.
Also I have gained some good feed back through other divisions in the company and our higher ups.Ive focussed on what I can do basically.
This week were hoping to have some kind of group chat and iron out any issues as it affects team work.

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Exaspa · 08/05/2023 12:23

Watching with interest as where I currently work we unfortunately come under a larger and ever expanding team that pretty much behaves like this all the time. It's come as quite a shock as everywhere else I've worked in the same sector the teams have mostly been warm and welcoming.

This lot is self obsessed, arrogant, and think I and my other ordinary level colleague are their admin lackeys. We've both complained to our manager but she says she doesn't notice it and we should just say no when they ask us to help with things they should be asking their own admin to help with or, frankly, getting off their lazy behinds to do themselves for a change.

And of course our manager doesn't notice it as she doesn't get that snotty condescension. Not only is she on a relatively senior grade, she spends almost her entire 40 hour week on Teams calls, not there as she's getting involved with all kinds of organisational initiatives that frankly are nothing to do with her if she was actually doing the job she was paid to do, or "strategizing". The whole set up has me looking for other jobs about 2 years before I planned when I took this one....!

And yes, I've been the same grade as the manager in a previous life but that was in a different location and when you got paid for doing your job, not Professional Ingratiation and spending 85% of your time showing off what it is you do! I don't think the salary for jobs at that grade merit the stress levels or the fact you're so removed from the end users any more. Although where I work is a spectacular example of crap management and cultured incompetence.

Definitely going to look up toxic positivity as an approach though!

whatisforteamum · 08/05/2023 14:20

Exaspa I feel your pain.It is new to me too decades in.
I try to take any blame attributed to me however they won't meet me half way.
If I were the manager I would sit everyone down and thrash out any misunderstanding as everyone has their merits.
I wouldn't let it go on for 6 months.

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whatisforteamum · 18/06/2023 07:45

Well nothing changed.
I made a massive effort to make an impression with the higher managers via our social media type platform showcasing my work and had lots of positive remarks.
We had a team meeting too however I'm still on the outside and ostracized.
I'm back this week after annual leave so will tell if I'm welcome or if I'm going.
I think the toxic environment is inbuilt.

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