Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bitchy colleagues

54 replies

whatisforteamum · 10/01/2023 16:12

I have a new role where person A doesn't like me so my attempts to be friendly are shrugged off and I'm given short shrift
Person B seemed friendly for a few weeks then decided to ignore me.
Which is fine yet we have to work in the same dept.
I find out B applied for my role so now everything I do is wrong.
A and B keep giggling and gossiping and looking my way which I chose to ignore.
Last week I overheard a comment referring to me as lazy which I'm really not so I pulled them up on it and said I could easily do said minor chore and have been.
The thing is everyone else is fantastic,the money is good and it is local.
If there were a real problem the manager could say.We now have a new one who is aware they don't speak to me.Realistically what can I do.
I know other staff before me left and went back to their old jobs.

OP posts:
WestBridgewater · 11/01/2023 20:43

whatisforteamum · 11/01/2023 20:38

I am new though so probably would be seen as rocking the boat.

Sometimes it takes the fresh pair of eyes of a new member of staff to expose behaviours that are unacceptable but have become the norm.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 12/01/2023 16:14

Yes maybe.
One won't speak to me despite my attempts.
I don't hold grudges.Everyone else is so lovely and I think the manager can see I'm working hard so I will keep on keeping on.

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 12/01/2023 19:53

She literally won't speak to you, as in you'll ask for a file and she'll just act like she didn't hear you?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 05:09

It is a customer facing role and she won't acknowledge when I tell her something safety related,I still tell her and she pretended to fake strangle me behind my back in front of a customer.
It is easier with the other one off though.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 13/01/2023 05:17

You've pulled them up about it....I bet they weren't expecting that. Hopefully the nonsense will stop. They dont need to be friendly, just as long as they're not unfriendly or unprofessional. They'll have got the message. Carry on and enjoy your new job

HandsOffMyCarrierBags · 13/01/2023 05:55

why is she pretending to strangle you? What are you telling her, is it essential and how r u saying health and safety things?

HandsOffMyCarrierBags · 13/01/2023 05:57

in other words are you trying to teach your granny to crack an egg

WestBridgewater · 13/01/2023 06:08

HandsOffMyCarrierBags · 13/01/2023 05:57

in other words are you trying to teach your granny to crack an egg

There’s no need for the coworker to be unprofessional though.

btw it’s teach your granny to suck eggs.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 06:26

No it's is something that could cause injury so it is commonplace to acknowdge you heard with a simple ok.

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 13/01/2023 07:19

Some people are really territorial about work places. Obviously you don’t have to tolerate bitchiness, but it’s hard to comment more specifically without more information really. Are you all on the same level in work? Are you telling them things that could be interpreted by them as you giving them orders? Was she talking to a customer when you tried to tell her something? If so that would annoy me, though I wouldn’t be bitchy about it. Not saying it is you but sounds like you’ve all gotten off on the wrong foot.

Coffeetree · 13/01/2023 07:22

So you warned/reminded her of a safety thing and instead of a gracious response she did the "strangle" gesture. That just makes her look like an ass. I wouldn't class that as "not speaking to you".

You're describing things that make a bad atmosphere, not really issues that are literally getting in the way of you doing your job. Calling that bullying is an overstatement and you won't get far with HR and official processes. Really the managers should be addressing the shitty attitudes, but they're not, and you can't force them to.

Not trying to minimise it, because honestly I would hate that too and look to leave. Life's too short. When you leave, be honest in your exit interview.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 13/01/2023 07:22

🌸

Princesspollyyy · 13/01/2023 08:02

whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 05:09

It is a customer facing role and she won't acknowledge when I tell her something safety related,I still tell her and she pretended to fake strangle me behind my back in front of a customer.
It is easier with the other one off though.

How you you know she did that?

Princesspollyyy · 13/01/2023 08:03

Coffeetree · 13/01/2023 07:22

So you warned/reminded her of a safety thing and instead of a gracious response she did the "strangle" gesture. That just makes her look like an ass. I wouldn't class that as "not speaking to you".

You're describing things that make a bad atmosphere, not really issues that are literally getting in the way of you doing your job. Calling that bullying is an overstatement and you won't get far with HR and official processes. Really the managers should be addressing the shitty attitudes, but they're not, and you can't force them to.

Not trying to minimise it, because honestly I would hate that too and look to leave. Life's too short. When you leave, be honest in your exit interview.

Why should she leave?? That's unfair.

I think it is bullying. Ignoring someone is bullying. They clearly have a problem with the OP.

Stop trying to minimise their awful behaviour, it's really not helpful.

Coffeetree · 13/01/2023 08:22

Yes it's unfair but sometimes bosses allow bad atmospheres to fester. OP is not management and has no standing to direct them to change the attitudes.

There's absolutely no way OP will succeed with an official bullying claim with "They giggle when I'm in the room" and "She didn't say 'OK' when I reminded her about x". The "strangle" thing is the only possible actionable point but really hard to prove.

Read up on the "bullying" cases that have actually succeeded.

Lindtcat · 13/01/2023 09:19

Easier said than done but ignore them. Hold your head high and kill with kindness. Don't not let them push you out of your job.

Princesspollyyy · 13/01/2023 10:35

Coffeetree · 13/01/2023 08:22

Yes it's unfair but sometimes bosses allow bad atmospheres to fester. OP is not management and has no standing to direct them to change the attitudes.

There's absolutely no way OP will succeed with an official bullying claim with "They giggle when I'm in the room" and "She didn't say 'OK' when I reminded her about x". The "strangle" thing is the only possible actionable point but really hard to prove.

Read up on the "bullying" cases that have actually succeeded.

No thanks, I've got some paint here that I need to watch dry.

yorkshirepudsx · 13/01/2023 10:37

OP please ignore them and hold your head high.

Don't do what I did and let it take over, be strong and try to focus just on work, they sound pathetic.
I ended up leaving a job due to this sort of behaviour and I miss the place so so much, but it got too much for me x

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 16:16

Thank you all fi

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 16:22

Thank you for the replies.
YorkshirepudsX sorry you couldn't stick it out.What did they do that made you leave?
Toxic workplaces are awful life is busy enough without poor behaviour.
Today was much better as one of them was off.🤣

OP posts:
yorkshirepudsx · 13/01/2023 20:01

whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 16:22

Thank you for the replies.
YorkshirepudsX sorry you couldn't stick it out.What did they do that made you leave?
Toxic workplaces are awful life is busy enough without poor behaviour.
Today was much better as one of them was off.🤣

There were multiple people on different teams that would 'target' a certain person for a while and not give up, worst workplace ever, they did it to others and I witnessed it, I tried to report it to my manager however she was one of them, so when said group of people found out I'd reported it, their attention went onto me,
Very petty things like timing me in the toilet and openly questioning why I was so long, not involving me with anything (whether work related or not, I felt alienated), the seating plan was changed and I was sat next to one of them, they asked me for help with something work related so I sat explaining it to them, and they left an email thread open on their other computer screen, I saw my name and some nasty things said about me in said thread 😳

I tried to take it further but it was just a horrific place to work and the managers were also horrific - so I just chose to leave, got a new job with much nicer people! A lot of other people have left that place since though, and a change in management has caused most of the nasty ones to be sacked 🤣🙈

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 13/01/2023 20:12

Sounds like you had a narrow escape.
I normally support the underdog if I see anything going on.
So glad you are somewhere much nicer.

OP posts:
Princesspollyyy · 13/01/2023 20:18

I worked somewhere once, it started off ok but soon the supervisor decided to make my life hell for no reason whatsoever. I didn't do anything. She just took a dislike to me.

I tried to ignore it but it obviously affected me, as I ended up with a stomach ulcer which my GP said was caused by stress.

I left and got a different job, I felt so much better.

I don't think you should have to leave, but there's only so much ignoring you can do. It eats away at you.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 15/01/2023 20:24

Princesspolly sorry to hear it affected your health.
I hope a new week can be a positive one.

OP posts:
toucaninjapan · 08/05/2023 08:16

How is it going now OP, did it become better?

Swipe left for the next trending thread