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AIBU?

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Original poster

Had a panic attack on a work phone call

102 replies

Beingmumistressful · 08/01/2023 21:31

I received a work phone call this afternoon, i’m the on-call press officer this weekend. It was a broadcast journalist who was calling with a few questions and then said he was putting me live air to answer his questions live on air as a company spokesperson via phone. I then had a complete panic attack while the phone line was live on air. He had rang me through the out of hours weekend press line, with an enquiry that I was not aware of and had no time to look into and then after answering one of his questions he said he was putting me live on air then just went and did it, absolutely no time to look into his enquiry or anything. I’ve never experienced anything like it in 19 years in PR. The panic attack was while the phone line was live on air. I informed my boss straight away after, he’s since listened to the ‘interview’ (if you can even call it an interview as the journalist just thrust me straight on air with no warning or time to look into his enquiry) and has called it a “car crash of an interview” (for a few reasons but also because I had a panic attack). I’m pretty sure the approach that the journalist took is a breach of OFCOM rules but I will check that with our legal team tomorrow. My manager is talking about potentially suspending me for bringing the company into disrepute (by having a panic attack!)! Aibu to think they can’t suspend me for this (having the panic attack)? I’ve never experienced anything like it in all my years in PR and communications.

OP posts:
SnowlayRoundabout · 09/01/2023 00:12

Beingmumistressful · 08/01/2023 21:57

5 seconds was an estimate, I’m not 100% sure of exactly how long it was. I explained that he should email over his questions and his allegations so we can look into them and respond and then had a panic attack and hung up the phone.

Show quote history

Was any of your panic attack audible, or did you just say he should email his questions and then put the phone down? If the latter, it sounds perfectly fine and might educate the journo not to be so stupid again.

Yogipineapple123 · 09/01/2023 00:18

Sorry this happened to you. Deep breaths and a good nights sleep!

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 09/01/2023 00:37

Herculesfan · 08/01/2023 21:41

I’m saying that, your manager should be on your side and be working on developing a better spin on the story or burying it. They should not be throwing you under the bus here.

While the reporter was wrong I can also see her managers perspective.

I would expect someone with 19 years of experience and former head of PR to handle that better, stand your ground and tell the reporter you will get back to him/her with answers simple.

We would not need professional PR teams if reporters all acted right and fair so yes she can and should report the reporter, but that still does not absolve her as that’s literally her job to deal with the press hence why she had the out of hours press phone with her.

Rain2122 · 09/01/2023 00:42

Hope you’re ok OP! I agree awful journalist and awful boss.

I wonder if a panic attack was a disproportionate reaction to the situation though which suggests an anxiety disorder (unless it was isolated and doesn’t happen again) - that’s nothing to do with your grade or years of experience. Panic attacks do not exclusively happen to junior employees! Keep an eye on this and get support if you need it.

I remember a headteacher once walking out in the middle of a presentation to 100 adults. He just had anxiety, it didn’t mean he wasn’t a good head and didn’t reflect poorly on his school.

Cantstandbullshitanymore · 09/01/2023 00:44

Shelby2010 · 08/01/2023 22:32

So as far as the listeners heard, you asked the journalist to email the questions in, then possibly a pause or the sound of breathing & then you hung up?

That doesn’t sound disastrous.

Still not clear but looks like she started crying on air before dropping off.

Jimboscott0115 · 09/01/2023 01:07

While I don't think you can be blamed for the panic attack OP and it sounds like a horrible situation, a lot of places, particularly those that have a PRbteam, do have policies in place that any engagement with the press is to be pre agreed. As you know from working in PR, ultimately you should never have to deal with questions you haven't seen in advance and have answers to and so these policies are generally quite sensible.

However, you were ambushed so I think you'll be fine, but I can see why the situation has at least raised eyebrows at work.

Teaandtoast3 · 09/01/2023 01:51

Your boss sounds entirely unsupportive. Is he generally? If so I would find a new job.

Whotsit · 09/01/2023 03:48

I think some listeners would have the same response or empathise with the panic of being put live on air with surprise questions.

goldennotyetoldie · 09/01/2023 07:09

@Christmaspyjamas a masterful post. You clearly know your stuff and are bloody brilliant.

OP. Do all of,what she says 😁

SleeplessInEngland · 09/01/2023 07:24

While I can see why you’re embarrassed ultimately the journalist shouldn’t have done that which means your boss should be supportive. Presumably you’re fine at the job otherwise.

Admittedly I’m curious what the ‘incident’ in question is. Perhaps local frustrations have boiled over and carefully worded corporate press release isn’t deemed enough.

NotAHouse · 09/01/2023 07:27

Please stop saying "thrust".

Oblomov22 · 09/01/2023 07:35

You aren't providing enough information for us to make an informed decision. But it sounds like it was poorly handled. Being calm and assertive in these situations is essential and is what is expected. Not to be bullied or pressurised by such rogue reporters.

You simply could have have said the normal PR speak whatever that is: 'we are looking into this and are unable to comment at this moment in time". Repeat.... Allowing yourself to be manipulated is not good. Speak to your boss. And GP.

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/01/2023 07:40

Having a panic attack does not denote lack of experience though. It is an entirely uncontrollable response and I'm sure the OP (who is plenty experienced whatever some little dogs might like to imply) has been in stressful situations before without having one.

Yes, it isn't great. But given one cannot control when a panic attack occurs how can it be something to punish for?

Oblomov22 · 09/01/2023 07:42

Although harsh, I disagree with Batshit. I doubt the journalist will get in trouble. OP's conduct is the one that is being questioned. What are your company policies and procedures. If you weren't prepared to do live, you should have calmly stated that you were unprepared to. And then put the phone down. Presumably your boss expects you to be assertive and not be pressurised into it. I agree with pp's that toning down the panic attack bit and just saying you felt unwell, ie sick.

Oblomov22 · 09/01/2023 07:53

Being calm in an emergency is a requirement for certain jobs. Not mine, I'm not expected to deal with them. But senior positions, first aiders, mangers of big companies, eg if there was a fire at a huge office, post office, BT company, you would expect the person in charge to be calm, direct people in an calm, non-panic way.

EmmaDilemma5 · 09/01/2023 08:02

YANBU to feel upset that you were put in that position. Without knowing the context it's difficult to know if they were unreasonable or not. Perhaps there's a reason why they felt you would know more than you did about that situation.

But even so, I think most people would feel very stressed at that.

I listen to the radio a lot and a common response seems to be "we are still looking into the details but will come back to share our view when we can" or "we're not in a position to respond at the moment but we will as soon as we can". Or pretend it's a bad line.

If you've been Head of PR, then I assume you regularly have to think on your feet and adapt so I'm surprised this has been very difficult for you. Are you going through other stressful things at the moment?

EndlessRain1 · 09/01/2023 08:03

The journalist is an ass. So is your boss. I bet he is just reacting and once things calm down he will realise it's not something to punish you over.

But for someone with 19 years experience and trained (I assume?) for this scenario it seems an unusualway to react. Is something more going on (Mh, stress, etc)? Have you not had proper training in how to deal with the media? You might want to actively seek out tools on how to cope with this sort of thing in future, it's obviously not ideal for an experienced and senior PR professional to not be able to be put on the spot.

FrostyFox · 09/01/2023 08:07

Jimboscott0115 · 09/01/2023 01:07

While I don't think you can be blamed for the panic attack OP and it sounds like a horrible situation, a lot of places, particularly those that have a PRbteam, do have policies in place that any engagement with the press is to be pre agreed. As you know from working in PR, ultimately you should never have to deal with questions you haven't seen in advance and have answers to and so these policies are generally quite sensible.

However, you were ambushed so I think you'll be fine, but I can see why the situation has at least raised eyebrows at work.

Former journalist here. These kinds of policies are just not always realistic and it can be maddening when people believe they should always see questions in advance.

OP, it’s hard to make sense of how this happened if it was radio. I’m sorry you had a panic attack. But I really would expect you to be able to deal with this if you have any experience of press office work. Does this job involve more crisis comms type stuff than you’re used to? You mention that you’ve been media trained - do you not have much actual experience of talking to journalists, which is more relevant than if you’ve had the training?

MarshaBradyo · 09/01/2023 08:09

I don’t know the protocol but I really feel for you op

MrsPinkCock · 09/01/2023 08:23

How long have you worked for your employer? Is it more than 2 years?

middleager · 09/01/2023 08:29

I'm sorry this happened to you.

I have worked in communications for a long time, but have never experienced that situation.

I am, however, surprised at your handling of the situation, given your role and experience. This is not like a typical worker being exposed to this situation - you are a trained senior media professional.

That said, I hope your boss supports you, as a mistake has been made, but it is not the end of the world.

Hoppinggreen · 09/01/2023 08:33

Beingmumistressful · 08/01/2023 21:52

That was just what my boss described it is. I don’t agree that it was even an interview in the circumstances. My boss claims me having a panic attack has made both the company and me look incompetent and therefore has brought the company into disrepute.

Show quote history

While I have a lot of sympathy for you your boss isn’t wrong.
A senior PR person being unable to handle a live interview and then having a “panic attack” does not reflect well on the company.
Why do you think you reacted so badly? I’m not in PR and I could have handled it. All you had to do was say that as you had not been given the chance to prepare you were unable to answer and questions properly and that you would be happy to speak to them once you had all the info you needed

TerraNostra · 09/01/2023 08:39

Is your boss also a PR specialist or do you report directly to a more general senior manager? Just wondering if he understands the specifics of your job having actually done it himself. It does seem like spectacularly bad management to take a call from a distressed employee on a Sunday and jump immediately to threatening suspension.

TerraNostra · 09/01/2023 08:42

I think in your position I’d also be questioning why, as OOO press contact, I had not already been briefed by someone in the company who knew about the alleged incident. Seems unlikely that something newsworthy could have happened and nobody else in the company knew about it.

Jimboscott0115 · 09/01/2023 11:54

FrostyFox · 09/01/2023 08:07

Former journalist here. These kinds of policies are just not always realistic and it can be maddening when people believe they should always see questions in advance.

OP, it’s hard to make sense of how this happened if it was radio. I’m sorry you had a panic attack. But I really would expect you to be able to deal with this if you have any experience of press office work. Does this job involve more crisis comms type stuff than you’re used to? You mention that you’ve been media trained - do you not have much actual experience of talking to journalists, which is more relevant than if you’ve had the training?

Show quote history

Oh, I agree and it must be shit sometimes when it's something people need to know the answer to and the company doesn't engage until they get all the questions they can then provide a ridiculously scripted response to that doesn't actually help anyone or clarify things.

I guess I'm just saying that I can understand why the boss was a bit miffed as I can picture being on a day off and then getting told one of my staff had appeared on a broadcast without prior notification and proceeded to struggle with it, and no doubt there was more to the piece than the OP hanging up as I assume the journalist would have made some form of comment after she left the call stating how not helpful the companies representative was.

That doesn't put the OP in the wrong of course, I can just see how an initial emotional/angry reaction from the boss could be reached, though would expect them to have calmed down sufficiently today to absorb the facts and support the OP.
I think one of the unintended consequences of this may well be that the OP isn't put front and centre of company responses to PR issues for a while which may be upsetting for them but probably right for the company while they provide her with the support and training she needs. By this I mean coaching/training for coping mechanisms to handle anxiety in these situations - watch sportspeople on TV and see how many of them reach for their ear during interviews as a calming motion and to reduce unwanted hand motions for example.