Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people are more selfish than ever before?

139 replies

LosAmigos · 08/01/2023 01:04

I went to the theatre this evening. The show was wonderful, but people made me mad. There was a woman with two teenage girls behind me and the woman and one of the girls were frequently talking.

Woman sat next to me, constantly rustling a bag of sweets throughout. She also couldn't seem to sit still in her seat. After she had finished the Haribo, she pulled a bag of something crunchy out.

Also, while I am having a rant, there's not a public transport journey I take where someone isn't talking with their phone on speakerphone or they're playing music/media out loud without headphones.

OP posts:
ToWhitToWhoo · 09/01/2023 18:51

Spellegrin · 09/01/2023 11:44

It's a mixture of people being selfish and having no manners. It was not always like this.

Even walking down a pavement people in groups "bully" a single person or a couple into submissive behaviour - it's a "get out of my way or I'll bash in to you" mentality.

People with dogs think their dogs are more important than another pedestrian walking towards them too!

No one says "excuse me" when they invade your space by walking right in front of your face. They just do it.

I saw more of that in the 80s and 90s than now!

Although I also found noisy behaviour in cinemas worse then than now, I suppose it is possible that some people are so used to watching films on Netflix, that they forget that in the cinema there are real people around who would be disturbed by noise!

Cath667 · 09/01/2023 18:53

NearlyMidnight · 09/01/2023 18:41

Society constantly shifts between favouring the needs of the collective over the needs of the individual and back again. Wars usually mean we have to put the collective needs ahead of the individuals'. Fast economic growth favours the individual.

It's all about consumption, our rights, what we "want" at the moment. It drives consumerism. Things like the NHS were set up to support the collective. We all pay, we all have access to health when we need it. everyone treats it with respect. And not everyone gets everything they want all the time. (Whereas if you pay, you can)
If everyone thinks they should be treated for everything and anything and complains if they don't get it - the system crumbles.

Same with public transport - it has to work for everyone. That means we all pay, we can all use it, we all stick by the rules so it's comfortable. But if people treat it like their own private carriage it won't work for all. And if they stop paying because it doesn't suit them - it becomes unsustainable.
The "I've paid for my theatre ticket so I should be allowed to do what I want" only works if you've paid enough to have the place to yourself.

That's a really interesting perspective. Thank you.

Spectre8 · 09/01/2023 18:57

I agree and OP and I add to that about sense of entitlement too. And not only is it just cinemas and theatres bit now you see if happening in other areas, recent one I've noticed is in the news I see more and more about people turning up to events that are sold out or not and trying to force their way in to see it for free which as we've seen can have deadly consequences.

I just thought it was certain gigs but then heard it happened in one entrance to the new yrs eve fireworks in London. Like wtaf.

Seymour5 · 09/01/2023 19:17

We went to Scotland by train recently, booked the quiet coach well in advance. A man across the gangway from us facetimed loudly for about an hour. I felt so sorry for the woman trapped in the next seat. As soon as someone got off, she moved! On the way back, we heard the life stories of two men, who spoke loudly enough to irritate, plus the guy with the loud, intrusive ringtone that went constantly. We never saw a conductor after the initial checking of tickets, but should adults really need to be told?

kafkascastle · 09/01/2023 19:27

It drives me nuts, especially people with the phone speaker turned on on the bus or just shouting into their phones. The other thing that bothers me is people sitting in their car playing music so loudly I can hear it in my flat. I live near a busy shopping area and it happens regularly, even at 2am. I did go out and shout at someone who was doing that at 6am the other day and woke me up. Selfish bastards.

thewinterwitch · 09/01/2023 22:42

Not sure why people are assuming this is a "young people behaving like selfish arseholes now" problem. Many of these loud, pushy, demanding, entitled twats are middle-aged people.

NearlyMidnight · 09/01/2023 23:57

I was on the train and a large, loud middle aged man who was Very Important was having a loud pompous phone convo with someone. He was announcing he was on his way to XX station - gave the impression he thought it was a bit of a dump.

Most of the carriage silently smirked when he didn't get off at the station he needed to to change for XX station but stayed on the train which happily sped off to YYY station. The guy next to me and I exchanged a look.

Mr Very Important finally concluded his convo and sat smugly - happy that we all now knew how Important and Busy he was. Completely unaware that he was on the wrong train. 😆

DrHix · 10/01/2023 00:17

don't know about selfish but people have become incredibly self centred and entitled. Everything seems to be about 'me' 'my happiness' 'my need' nobody seems to take other people, whether they are close or strangers, into account. It is the death of families, the destruction of community and the fall of society. I only folk would look beyond themselves and think about all those lives around them. And before I get flamed I know lots of people care about the disadvantaged and provide support, that isn't the issue I am talking about. I'm talking about the everyday, always there people that the population are ignoring, the partners, wives, husbands, friends, acquaintances, colleagues. The ones that they just don't think about how the actions they selfishly take affect them. Tolerance, empathy and a bit of give and take would go a very long long way.

SmokeyPaprika · 10/01/2023 05:29

don't know about selfish but people have become incredibly self centred and entitled.

Look at Prince H......

Cuppasoupmonster · 10/01/2023 15:31

DrHix · 10/01/2023 00:17

don't know about selfish but people have become incredibly self centred and entitled. Everything seems to be about 'me' 'my happiness' 'my need' nobody seems to take other people, whether they are close or strangers, into account. It is the death of families, the destruction of community and the fall of society. I only folk would look beyond themselves and think about all those lives around them. And before I get flamed I know lots of people care about the disadvantaged and provide support, that isn't the issue I am talking about. I'm talking about the everyday, always there people that the population are ignoring, the partners, wives, husbands, friends, acquaintances, colleagues. The ones that they just don't think about how the actions they selfishly take affect them. Tolerance, empathy and a bit of give and take would go a very long long way.

Yes and I put this down to a few things:

  1. an obsession with mental health that verges on the paranoid at this point - that every negative feeling is pathologised, that everyone else is a ‘toxic narc’ and you’re a victim, that your MH problems entitled you to require everyone to change their behaviour rather than it being your problem to deal with
  2. The fact we have to pretend all problems are equal to avoid being accused of ‘minimising’. Apparently I did this by suggests an adult ADHD diagnosis isn’t as urgent as a heart attack.
  3. People moving away and having children later in life because they want to travel and holiday, before moaning they feel knackered and there’s no family support around them and ‘there’s no community any more’ despite the fact they left theirs because ‘staying in your hometown is for losers’
JamSandle · 10/01/2023 15:38

Cuppasoupmonster · 10/01/2023 15:31

Yes and I put this down to a few things:

  1. an obsession with mental health that verges on the paranoid at this point - that every negative feeling is pathologised, that everyone else is a ‘toxic narc’ and you’re a victim, that your MH problems entitled you to require everyone to change their behaviour rather than it being your problem to deal with
  2. The fact we have to pretend all problems are equal to avoid being accused of ‘minimising’. Apparently I did this by suggests an adult ADHD diagnosis isn’t as urgent as a heart attack.
  3. People moving away and having children later in life because they want to travel and holiday, before moaning they feel knackered and there’s no family support around them and ‘there’s no community any more’ despite the fact they left theirs because ‘staying in your hometown is for losers’
Show quote history

People travel and move for many reasons - not just because of holidays. And some people don't have much community or family to begin with.

Cuppasoupmonster · 10/01/2023 15:52

JamSandle · 10/01/2023 15:38

People travel and move for many reasons - not just because of holidays. And some people don't have much community or family to begin with.

Show quote history

Yes of course. But consequences and all that, whatever your reasons it means you won’t have family around you.

Wigglewigglewitch · 27/07/2023 22:42

I’m just going to leave this here, with no comment….!

To think people are more selfish than ever before?
stayathomer · 27/07/2023 22:45

I always try and stand up for people but everything I come back to does come back to people being just a bit more deluded and selfish and wanting things to be just so for them or their family

New posts on this thread. Refresh page