To think people are more selfish than ever before?

[LosAmigos]

I went to the theatre this evening. The show was wonderful, but people made me mad. There was a woman with two teenage girls behind me and the woman and one of the girls were frequently talking.

Woman sat next to me, constantly rustling a bag of sweets throughout. She also couldn't seem to sit still in her seat. After she had finished the Haribo, she pulled a bag of something crunchy out.

Also, while I am having a rant, there's not a public transport journey I take where someone isn't talking with their phone on speakerphone or they're playing music/media out loud without headphones.

Of course theatres want you to eat in them of they sell food. If they only wanted people to eat in the interval they would restrict all food sales to only during the interval. Which the grand majority of theatres do not do.

It's the difference between rules and manners. Some people do rules only!

I don’t think this ‘proves people are more selfish than ever before’. Did you ask them to keep the noise down? We’re also allergic to making perfectly simply requests such as that so it’s not surprising people go 40 years in life without realising they’re acting like twat.

Seriously I have told people to do exactly that. They look like no one ever told them to be quite, not swear in front of kids etc. Zero manners and a response can be "no rule against it". No, correct, no rule against, but equally, everyone else has to put up with it.

It's crappy upbringing. Manners define you and how others regard you. It's a strange person that doesn't care.

Yes inconsideration of the others around them and selfishness

Not true, a few days before Christmas, I booked a lovely expensive restaurant for my daughter’s birthday. The ambience was ruined by a family playing Peppa Pig on top volume on a phone for their 5 year old!
everyone was turning around to see who the selfish family was but they seemed oblivious. Think the restaurant staff picked up on the annoyance as they suddenly turned the background music up to drown peppa out!
Just saying, it’s not always just in Nando’s you see this type of thing. It’s prolific! People have changed..

I would bloody complain. Poor five year old. Headphones and a tablet if you must drag them out to a good place.

I don't think my parents took me anywhere "good" until I was about 7.

If I had a pound for every time I've asked a passenger to either use headphones or turn the sound off when using Paw Patrol as a babysitter on a train, I could retire to a desert island and never see another human again. Bliss!

Obviously they didn't used to do the first of these things before there were mobile phones!

Before smart phones, it was rare to see someone use their phone in the cinema, as it was considered not curteous. Since the advent of smart phones, and increasingly in the last ten or so years, people think nothing of lighting up the cinema during the whole movie with their phones. It's incredibly distracting. But that is if you can get over the stench of the hot fast food they have bought elsewhere and noisily unwrapped to enjoy with the movie...

I think the British are worse than other countries. Is it something to do with our class system? (lived in the US and DCs were positively angelic at meals out but then eating out was a norm)

I think so. In the past couple of decades there has been increased focus on putting the wants and needs of individuals above those of the community as a whole. My personal freedom to do what I want trumps any duty, responsibility or manners I may owe the community as a whole type of thing. We are also told we needn't be embarassed about actions if it is the pursuit of establishing our rights. "I don't care what anyone thinks, it's my right" is almost a mantra and excuses rude behaviour.

I think there’s as much kindness, niceness and helpfulness out there, but there’s also more in your face entitleness (is this a word?!). It’s trying to get the line between being walked all over and being selfless. My children have been taught in school that they matter, which is great, but sometimes we are battling the ‘but why shouldn’t I, I’m as important as they are’ thing. People are basically told not to be wallflowers and that they deserve it all, but without the ‘but you could maybe compromise too’ bit

So much. I feel people have really changed and don't have any consideration for other people at all anymore, even really basic stuff. It actually makes me quite sad and depressed tbh
I thought it was perhaps maybe as the population gets bigger that the sense of community is lost or if its a change in values with younger people (but its not like I'm so old). I don't know what it is, but I really don't like it 😕

I actually thought that was the point of the food sold there, that it wasn't noisy. It's so expensive going to the movies now, I feel quite upset if people talk or even if they're on their phone and you can see the light. Its so distracting. I will actually say shhhhh!!! But normally people don't care anyway

I agree with you. I am a mediator, five years ago people were willing to negotiate. Even difficult clients would agree to compromise, on a good day they would even accept that the other person’s perspective had validity and maybe they needed to rethink their position. Now it’s a shitshow, everything is about “my rights”, “I want”, “you must” and the poor kids are stuck in the middle. People are totally unable or unwilling to accept that they can’t always have what they want just because they want it. It’s the sense of absolute entitlement that baffles me the most.

I agree op.. I went recently with 2 friends, one of them was sat behind a lady who spent about 50% of the time filming it through her phone. My friend asked her politely several times to put her phone down as she had to look round the phone to see the performance. On the 3rd attempt my friend got a mouthful off this lady. If my friend had wanted to watch the performance through a screen she's have stayed at ho and watched the telly.

Once upon a time in cinemas there’d be a message asking you to turn your phone off, eat quietly, stop talking during the performance etc but apparently we’re all misremembering. Why is it so hard for you to understand that while you can eat in a cinema / theatre but you should at least try and be a bit discreet about it? For the sake of, you know, the other people who have paid to be there?

Yes . Absolutely yes. People do not care and will do exactly what they like. When people react with annoyance and anger they are gaslighted, like it’s their problem. This is what the main issues are with society, everyone is out for them
selves

everyone is out for themselves

Thatcher's children.

Yes. And before that there were ushers who would come down and patrol the cinema with torches if someone was being disruptive or noisy or talking during the film, and quietly give them a stern word and inform them they would be asked to leave if they persisted. People didn't talk for more than a few seconds before someone would crossly whisper Shhh, and then the talkers would shut up. Now they just stare at you for a moment and then keep talking.

The bottom line is that so long as these selfish people are having a good time and are OK, nothing else and no-one else matters.

Me, me, me.

Did I say people should talk loudly and eat loudly and rudely? No. I said it is not rude to eat food in theaters and cinemas, and that those venues sell food specifically for customers to eat.

I think the general level of social awareness has declined significantly. People aren't aware of their surroundings nor do they care it seems. I cannot fathom why anyone feels it's acceptable to play loud music/YouTube on their phone whilst in a public place or have very public telephone calls.

There's less respect for others in general, much more me first now.

I do think eating confectionery at the cinema is one thing, but eating burgers and hot dogs is anti social. It’s not allowed on public transport, so why cinemas?

So why don’t they just open a restaurant? Since they obviously don’t care about the ‘ audience’ (means listeners, what a joke) being able to hear or enjoy the actors.