to not want my Mum to come and stay for a week when my baby is born?

[Chequers]

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YANBU at all!
I didn't want anyone but DP around when our first was born. My mum and sisters came to see the new arrival at the hospital on the day he was born, then I didn't see any of them for 10 days. DP took care of cooking and household chores while I got to grips with breastfeeding etc. You need those first few days to bond as a family.
Also you may feel a bit cranky a few days after the birth so the last thing you need is your mother around, especially if you tend to argue.
Stick to your guns and insist on no visitors till you're good and ready.

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YANBU at all. I have a difficult relationship with my mother at the best of times, and she is the last person I'd want around before, during, or after birth. She came to stay for a few days after ds1 was born, 'to help', and it was just awful. I ended up waiting on her hand and foot, because she'd say things like 'I don't know how your kettle/oven/dishwasher works'.

She had a row with the the mw who tried to explain to her that she wasn't helping with my recovery one bit and perhaps she ought to go home, or atleast go out and give us some breathing space.

I spent the bulk of the time in our bedroom hiding from her and feeding ds (didn't feel comfortable trying to get to grips with all that around her), and felt like a prisoner in my own home. Dh kept going out on errands to get away from her too.

When she announced that she would be coming this time I put my foot down and said we'd like this to be a special family time for the first few days/weeks, whilst we found our feet. She had a big strop and sulked for a couple of weeks, but has had to go along with it.

YANBU - before my second was due I told both sets of parents that we were going to have very strict visiting hours for the first week, that they were welcome for one hour when we came home from hospital. You may find that you are advised something similar at antenatal classes - it's the only piece of advice we followed to the letter!

I know someone whose MIL came to stay for 3 months after her first baby was born... (MIL lives overseas). I could not entertain the idea of either my own mother, or my MIL, staying at such a special time. I was grateful for the lasagne that they cooked for us, and appreciated having my Mum at the end of the phone, but very much wanted to do things our way... YANBU, you know best.

yanbu, I love my mother I do, but in a way that is much easier when she is hundreds of miles away iykwim!
Luckily, while she may interfere into every other aspect of my life (fairly certain she'll be lurking on here looking for me - hi mum!) she can still remember her mother coming down to be looked after before her hip replacement 3 days after she had me 6 weeks prematurely... coming down when my dsis was born and setting the kitchen on fire and appearing uninvited when youngest sis was born as - wait for it, "I expect you'll have forgotten all about having a new baby by now" yes, of course, her next youngest was 5, my grandmother's was 30!!!!!!!
so she stayed away for the first month!

Oh God, this brings back loads of memories. My mother has very firm views on things and I knew she would make me crazy. I'm adopted but she was giving me advice on breast feeding, for example, and made comments like: I was sure you'd need a c-section. The works. Nightmare and our relationship suffered for about a year after - longer, as she banged on and on about how hungry DD was before my milk came in, which resulted in huge blow up after a while, because I'd had enough!!!

It makes a big difference how confident you are feeling AND if you share the same fundamental views on childbirth and infant care. If you've had to do a lot of explaining about your choices - give yourself a break and take the two weeks with DH. She might be a bit miffed but it may work out better for your relationship in the long run.

My mother nearly drove me round the bend when she came to stay for 3 days after my first baby was born. She wanted to decide on everything,including the angle at which the baby's hat should be worn.

But it is a good idea to start the grandparent-grandchild relationship some time.

Also agree that in some circs, another pair of hands is required to help make meals etc while you lie in bed with baby.