To just give up?

[BlüeöysterCunt]

I've spoken about this before under a different username.

I started a new job six months ago after being at college/uni for three years (online for most of it due to COVID restrictions). I work in a call centre.

In the six months I've had two bad flus and a bereavement resulting in me having a lot of time off.

Almost a month ago I caught the most recent flu and I was in bed for a week really ill, went back to work as started to feel better but after 8 days became very ill again and ended up on steroids and antibiotics (amoxicillin and prednisolone) with a serious chest infection.

I've already had a probationary meeting extending my probation by three months, and now I have a disciplinary to look forward to next week.

To make matters worse I now have a dental abscess, can't eat anything and vomited violently at work today. I'm on metronidazole for it and have an appointment next Weds.

I'm also now coughing up grey sludge (still have cough and wheezing from chest infection but why grey? It was dark green before. TMI, sorry.)

If it's relevant I'm also being assessed for asthma and have a follow up appointment later in the month.

The work thing is stressing me out so much my anxiety is through the roof. I'm not an unreliable person, I'm never late and I work hard. I can't help being ill, especially when everyone in the office comes into work when they're sick. There is no airflow and I seem to catch everything.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't properly recover from anything because I'm so scared of losing my job that I feel rushed back to work. I'm petrified of getting ill again and it's making me sick with worry.

I feel like saying fuck it and getting a sick line from my doctor because I'm so stressed by the whole thing. I'm really reaching the end of my tether and am having some pretty dark thoughts.

I know this is AIBU so I'll probably be torn to shreds but oh well, it's not like things can get much worse 😬

You poor thing! It sounds like you're run down and not getting chance to recover properly before the next thing hits you. Get a sick note (fit note, whatever they are now) and get yourself better. Then get back to work, and look for a new job maybe?
Even where I am in one of the worst jobs blacksmiths in the country the call centres are hiring, also care work and some retail.
Sort your health out first though, the rest will follow, and you'll be better able to plan/work/organise if you're feeling better.

BlackSPOTS not smiths! I'm not sure forging horseshoes would be a career choice 😁

You should definitely ask your GP to sign you off. You need time to recover properly x

I'm not sure if I would have a job to go back to if I got signed off. My friend who was signed off for a month with mental health issues was getting phone calls every day to 'find out how she was'... It's very intrusive. I had to phone every day when I had my bereavement to let them know how I was. I've never experienced this at work before.

I'm just worried I wouldn't get a reference or be able to get a new job if I end up losing this one. Other than my absence I'm pretty much a model employee but it is worrying me.

I just feel like I am not going to get better unless I get some proper rest.

I mean it's not high in demand 🤣 but worth a shot

If you don’t feel like you will get better without any rest then you need to rest. I think you need to focus on your health, and yes unfortunately accept that it might result in a termination. But that will take a bit of time and in the meantime start to look for a new job that hopefully you will be refreshed for.

Are they actually allowed to contact you everyday that you're off sick? You need to find out if they are breaking the rules/law etc.

If you can manage it financially, I would get signed off but knowing you won't go back. Try and recover quietly, then find something else.

And gently: if you went to uni, why are you working in a call centre - is this a stop-gap job?

They can't actually say much in a reference nowadays, and if they do say you had "excessive " absence just tell the new place the truth - you had a bereavement then caught covid/new not covid flu type thing, it turned nasty, and doctor signed you off work to recover.
Try not to worry about it.

It's the dark thoughts that are concerning here.
Please speak to your GP for some support.

You poor thing, you can't help being ill.
You need to get signed off sick, get yourself better, then look for something else. Life's too short to feel like this. X

PM me ill give you a reference from my business. If youre sick youre sick. A job is just a task not a lifestyle

Take the metronidazole 30 minutes after eating/food.

It sounds like you've had really bad luck with your health & life events, your work place don't sound supportive. Speak with your GP. Get well soon

Please get a sick note, and consider applying for remote jobs. There are quite a few call centre-esque jobs you can do from home now.

Also, when it comes to a reference, lie. Get a friend or something to do it. Or you ask for a letter proving you worked there dates from and to.

Get well soon no job is worth your health.

I'm just worried I wouldn't get a reference or be able to get a new job if I end up losing this one.

I would talk to them and be explicit that you are thinking of leaving voluntarily but would like a decent reference that focuses on your job performance not the absences.

You can negotiate the content of the reference before you leave.

Then investigate your health.

Then apply for new jobs.

Also, when it comes to a reference, lie. This is really bad advice!

What an awful time for you, please talk to your gp about dark thoughts/sick note and take the lovely poster up on having a reference photo

didn't mean photo sorry

@Angeldelight81 what a superstar and great offer! 🌻

This depends. Im NHS and my trust asks in the reference how many days sickness absence the employee has had in last 12 months

I hope you get well soon OP

I work in this industry and they should be supporting you and from a business POV trying to retain you and bring you back to work with a duty of care to your health

My advice would be to attend the meeting with all your supporting evidence of your absences

Don't get signed off whilst getting a new job to resign.
They can't give you a bad reference and won't declare reason for leaving so you will have your dates of employment and job title on there
They should also be able to provide support if you request, reduced hours until you get well, EAP also

Good luck

Wow, there's some scary advice on here. Posters willing to provide false references. Advising the OP to lie. Saying that things can't be said in references.

OP - ignore 75% of the advice you've had - it's dishonest or worng or both.

Sometimes shit happens. This is your turn. Don't beat yourself up over things you can't control. And also call centres are notoriously bad in the main.

But - reality check - it would appear that you are well on the way to losing this job. So I would suggest that you concentrate on getting fit and healthy again. If you need to take more time off work, then get a fit note and do it. If they need to dismiss you, then you can't stop them. So focus on what you can control which is getting better and stronger for the next (better) job.

Decent employers understand that sometimes people have bad runs of stuff. So yes, potential employers will ask about sickness etc. Just tell them the truth. What they want to hear is not how sick you were, but what you have done to get past this, so that they can feel confident that it was just a bad run of luck. Six months probably feels like an eternity right now, but in the grand scheme of things, and especially right now, having a run of illnesses over six months isn't the problem, it's making sure that it doesn't continue. So trying and trying to not be off ill when you are ill is actually making it worse.

Get the sick note. Take time to recover. If you are dismissed just double down on getting a new job and showing them that you've turned this bad stretch around. As a recruiting manager I can tell you that that means far more to me - I am not really all that bothered about your attendance at the last workplace, but what it will be for me.

They can't give you a bad reference

FFS will people stop peddling this crap. Of course an employer can give you a "bad reference". If the truth is "bad" then they can put that in a reference. A reference must be truthful / not misleading. It doesn't have to be good.

Are you living with parents? Depending on the financial situation my preference be to resign ahead of being let go. Can you take holidays?

If you are newly out of Uni it's fine to have a few starter jobs before finding something that works for you. If the environment doesn't have access to fresh air it may not be suitable for you anyway.

Look for something else employers are only allowed to contact you for a see how you are not to excess! In my 20’s I worried soo much and would go in with my head hanging off! But now not a chance! Are you past your probation period?

If so id be contacting HR also Acas! I hate the intimidation that employers plié onto there staff!

We run a company now and our workers health and mental health is absolutely upmost! And because how we treat our staff it reflects brilliantly with there work ethic! Extremely hard excellent workers!

I don’t know why managers think there is method in this madness guilt tripping ill people they will only return to work resentful and half hearted as I have done in the past!

I had quite a serious health condition that came to a ambulance called to the work place after I told my manager I couldn’t make it! She still got me to go in!!! Her face well I signed off sick that day never returned!

Id be signed off planning my exit!