AIBU to feel sad about this?

[Blueu4]

I’m on a medication that I’ve been warned is very likely to change my eye colour. It has already started to change it slightly and it’s different to how it was say last January.

I have blue eyes and it’s something I’ve always been a bit sentimental about because it makes me feel close to my family (for a variety of complicated reasons) who had the same eyes as me, and it’s like an identity thing I suppose. According to the doc it’s irreversible so if it does continue to change then that’s it.

I know the medication is important and of course I will continue taking it but AIBU to feel a little sad about it? I know nothing will change about me realistically and it’s a tiny problem in the grand scheme of things, but I feel a bit sad that something that’s made me feel close to my family is now going to change so late in my life

Is it the glaucoma medication?

You are not unreasonable to feel sad about it no, but weigh that up with the benefits.

I would feel sad too, YANBU at all. My family all have matching, quite distinctive eyes and I would be gutted if mine changed.

YANBU to grieve your eye colour and the connection it provided for you.

I love my eye colours so I can imagine it would make me sad even without the extra issue.

My eyes were hazel and they are now the darkest shade of dark brown- it’s almost impossible to see my pupils. I won’t lie, I’m not keen but I wouldn’t say I’m sad about it either - after 20 years I’ve just mentally tagged it onto the ageing list alongside wrinkles and hairy chin 😋
Don’t be sad OP 💐

Of course you're not unreasonable to feel sad about it.

my eyes used to be blue too, they changed and now they're a strange colour bit blue bit green, bit brown. & vary a lot day to day.

I miss my pretty blue eyes and I don't have the family connection thing going on. They were still part of my identity.

I don't know why mine changed. Possibly due to a medical issue 💁🏻‍♀️ At least you know why yours are changing & benefit from the medication. Maybe you can find a way to stop feeling so sad about it, given how much the medication is helping?!?!

it's sad you feel sad, but is not unreasonable!

Wow that's some a really weird effect medication ,💊 you have been taking,
never knew medication existed that could be a as powerful as that,

Totally get understandable you feel that way, after all its your identity /genetic make up.

I think anyone would feel that way,feel sad experincing what you are going through.

Take care

yeah the medication is definitely more important.

it’s just so disappointing that it’s going to change this. I know it’s only eye colour but it’s part of who I am as a person and it feels like my identity is changing! It’s already changed a little bit

I would be devastated, sorry to be shallow but my eye colour is the one thing everyone compliments me on - the one thing I actually have not done anything to achieve but nonetheless it feels like a bit of my identity
I have a very light green, mint coloured eyes
the irony is my vision is so appalling even the optician feels sorry for me

…..how about wearing coloured contacts

YANBU. Yes the medication is important but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad about losing a feature of yourself you liked.

Similar happened to me. I developed heterochromia as a result of an eye infection. I quite like it now, but when it was new I didn’t.

I think lots of people don't realise how big part of them is their eye colour until they really think about it.

Can you guess what will you end up with? Is it slight change or major one?

Not sure yet- he said it will gradually go brown and it will be significant enough that eventually I will have brown(ish) eyes. I like brown eyes but I like my blue eyes and it’s such a big part of my own identity 😞

I can understand why it’s upsetting. It
must also feel strange seeing the change in the mirror when you look at yourself.

Yes- everytime I look in the mirror I’m checking for differences! It’s the irreversibility of it that’s upsetting too, once it’s changed there’s nothing I’ll be able to do to reverse it I believe. I know it’s just eye colour but it’s hard to change something you’re used to

No, I understand where you're coming from - I also have a very distinctive eye colour, probably best described as light grey (a former boyfriend once called them silver, although I think he was gilding the lily a bit!).

I know we shouldn't get wrapped up in our looks, but it's difficult to completely dissociate yourself from your face / features, particularly when they are distinctive or special to you. I imagine it's also disconcerting to see your appearance change.

I hope your treatment goes well.

I totally understand this. Eyes are the windows to the soul. They matter a lot. It's a natural thing to grieve. Your eyes will still be beautiful 💚

I’ve brown eyes and generally notice anyone’s eye colour, tbh but I can understand you not wanting something that’s part of you to change.
As pp said, you’ve to weigh the benefits.
Surely, you’ve other things that connect you to your family?

I have very dull blue/grey eyes with brown rings around the pupil. I'd love to change to green, but i'd be sad if they changed to full on brown. That said, coloured contacts can make you absolutely any shade of any colour you want, if they do change, it might be a faff to put them in every day, but they could help you feel more "you"?

Thank you, I hadn’t realised that about contact lenses so that’s really good to know.

yes it’s glaucoma medication. Very important I know but the side effect is so permanent 😞

My friend has the same. She feels very similar. The drops have given her thicker, longer lashes which is the only plus side.

I don't really get it tbh. I've never attributed eye colour as a connection to relatives.

I don't wish to be insensitive, but I guess your health is more important than eye colour.

YANBU at all, most people would be given pause if their fundamental appearance was changed and they hadn't done so on purpose/willingly.
I'm glad you are getting the treatment you need and hope it helps you
If your condition allows it you can always wear coloured contacts if it helps you x

I don’t really get the eulogising of blue and green eyes either.

People have been saying how they feel about their own eye colour - there's no eulogising of any colour over another. My lovely DS has the most beautiful eyes of all of us: dark, rich, chocolate brown. There - does that redress the balance?

both of my DD’s have beautiful dark brown eyes, I have deep blue eyes (very similar in colour to the mumsnet logo). I didn’t know that eyes could change colour with medication or due to injury/infection, so I’d learnt something new today!