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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've done everything possible and still aged

298 replies

Cheeeeeeese · 06/01/2023 15:27

I don't drink, never smoked, wear spf50 every day, moisturiser every day, use retinol, tretinoin, and so on. I sleep well 90% of the time, no children etc.
My diet isn't perfect, but this is all I can think of.
Despite this, I've still got crows feet, lines under my eyes and dark circles.
I am only 31 but presume the worst is yet to come. It's frustrating to already feel that I'm looking 'tired' at this age.
I've always looked after my skin well, yet I've still got these signs around my eyes already.

All I can think of is that they don't actually work? I'm using prescription strength products too. Does anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
justasking111 · 06/01/2023 16:37

Cheeeeeeese · 06/01/2023 15:39

I also get mistaken for much younger a lot, but it's just what I can see on myself.
My parents have very good skin for mid/late 50s as it happens, so hopefully I'll take after them!

You're 31 look much younger OP and you're worried about ageing. Step away from the mirror.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 06/01/2023 16:38

Don't regret growing old. It's a privilege denied to many.

Absolutely agree

Sunnymumma · 06/01/2023 16:39

Collagen…if you can afford to buy a decent marine collagen it does make a significant difference.

It’s easy to say who cares if you look younger than you are, or don’t have an issue you really feel conscious about.

Benjispruce4 · 06/01/2023 16:39

Surprised you think it’s possible for creams to stop wrinkles. Laughter and expression causes lines. It’s also means you are alive and living/ laughing/loving.

SpeckledlyHen · 06/01/2023 16:41

HilaryBriss · 06/01/2023 15:31

I think a lot of it is down to genetics to be honest. I am 53, smoked for 20 years, drink loads, eat crap, hardly ever remember to moisturize and definitely don't use any of those chemicals you mention. I have no crows feet or dark circles and very few wrinkles. I get it from my mum who is 80 but looks younger.

I will probably encounter other health issues brought on by an unhealthy lifestyle but have good skin Grin.

I am pretty much the same. It is definitely a genetic thing, I look at my mum who is nearly 80 and some 60 year olds look older. I got married in my early 40's and my mum had a photo of me and her on my wedding day. An acquaintance who did not know how old my mum was assumed I was mid 20's - in other words she was thinking my mum must have been much younger to have a mid 20's daughter. I pay little heed to lotions/potions and makeup, have never had anything done apart from the odd upper lip wax and I dye my hair.

I think topically you can add as many things as you like but you cannot stop the tide of ageing whatever it says on the bottle.

Tiddler39 · 06/01/2023 16:41

RobertaFirmino · 06/01/2023 15:31

Stop using everything bar the retinol and use the savings for therapy to determine why you place so much value on not aging.

🙄

SallyWD · 06/01/2023 16:41

I think genetics and diet play a huge role in aging. Did your mum age quickly or look young for longer? With regards to diet I think eating lots of fruit and veg (anti oxidants), anti inflammatory foods and healthy fats like olive oil can really help give a glowing complexion. Lots of water too, of course.

Lockheart · 06/01/2023 16:41

The beauty industry is one of the biggest scams going. It doesn't matter how much retinol, tylenol, pepto bismol etc you throw at your face, you're going to age.

The best thing you can do is to stay hydrated, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and avoid too much sunlight. Everything else is genetics.

Goosefatroasts · 06/01/2023 16:42

It is genetic I think. Also not smoking and avoiding the sun. Being too thin also ages you. I’m quite fat at the minute and my crows feet have disappeared which is about the only bonus.

DappledThings · 06/01/2023 16:42

I have no idea how aged or not I look (am 43). And no idea when I first got any wrinkles. Who cares? It's all normal.

I did find my face was a bit dry a couple of months ago and considered buying moisturiser for the first time but forgot again and it feels fine again now.

ReneBumsWombats · 06/01/2023 16:42

Cheeeeeeese · 06/01/2023 15:39

I also get mistaken for much younger a lot, but it's just what I can see on myself.
My parents have very good skin for mid/late 50s as it happens, so hopefully I'll take after them!

Sounds like you've made an identity out of looking younger and you're worried it won't last. And you're right. It won't.

Find something else about you that's interesting.

WhenIAmOldIShallWearPurple · 06/01/2023 16:43

My Dad is an ex smoker, drinks a lot. He looks 20 years younger than FIl who is the same age as him.

It's just genetics.

Tamarindtree · 06/01/2023 16:43

At 31 and you have all those lines and wrinkles indicates it’s either genetic or you have overdone it with lotions and potions that you don’t need at your age and have thinned your skin or whatever the medical term is for rendering your skin vulnerable.

If you are using all the high strength stuff now what on earth will your skin look like when you are 50? You will have worn it away!

Lay off it all and look at more holistic approach to your face and skincare routine.

Look to nourish your skin.

harktheherold · 06/01/2023 16:43

Also.. do you have children? They tend to accelerate the process! As do other sources of stress

FightingFatAt49 · 06/01/2023 16:44

I drink (more than I should), used to smoke (gave up a long time ago thank god), never use SPF, sometimes moisturise, never take my make up off at night, don't even know what retinol is.... I'm hitting 50 soon but I'm overweight so have very few wrinkles, so one benefit 🤪
I wonder are you too thin??

Tiddler39 · 06/01/2023 16:46

Babdoc · 06/01/2023 16:06

Get fat. Fat people have far less obvious wrinkles, as the subcutaneous fat plumps up the skin and stretches them out!
Alternatively, stop fretting about something so superficial and start enjoying yourself doing something more worthwhile. Most busy working mums don’t have time for this level of self absorption.

How do you know she is self-absorbed and not doing anything meaningful? I’m pretty sure worrying about ageing isn’t the only thing going on in OP’s life.

Just because you do/don’t have kids doesn’t make you any less/more concerned with how you look.

I’m a ‘busy working mum’ and I take a lot of time to make myself look nice and - yes - I don’t want to age prematurely.

Sometimes I think looking like shit is a MN badge of honour…

MartiniFlan · 06/01/2023 16:48

You made the mistake of posting on MN which consistently seems to have an extraordinarily high number of posters constantly mistaken for being 10 years younger than they are. Oddly enough in real life I have never met anyone who looked dramatically younger than they are. Even when I was working in a shop and had to check IDs.

Tiddler39 · 06/01/2023 16:48

SallyWD · 06/01/2023 16:41

I think genetics and diet play a huge role in aging. Did your mum age quickly or look young for longer? With regards to diet I think eating lots of fruit and veg (anti oxidants), anti inflammatory foods and healthy fats like olive oil can really help give a glowing complexion. Lots of water too, of course.

I agree with this, OP.

I think it’s time to look at your diet.

Glucose spikes in particular age your skin, so if you’re eating a lot of sugar, especially on an empty stomach, this will age you.

ily0 · 06/01/2023 16:50

Buy Current Body LED Facemask. It’s absolutely amazing.

Calmdown14 · 06/01/2023 16:51

Remember it's a process and not linear.

I noticed changes in my early 30s but they've not really advanced much and I'm now 42 (or I've just got used to looking at them now!)

Little point fretting over something you can't change

ily0 · 06/01/2023 16:51

Tiddler39 · 06/01/2023 16:48

I agree with this, OP.

I think it’s time to look at your diet.

Glucose spikes in particular age your skin, so if you’re eating a lot of sugar, especially on an empty stomach, this will age you.

Show quote history

This is very naive. 90% of premature aging is sundamage.

jevoudrais · 06/01/2023 16:51

I think it's genetics largely too. I am 30 and look quite young but I am still getting crows feet. I have slight dark circles but that's fine, they're not puffy or saggy so I'm content!

Eatentoomanyroses · 06/01/2023 16:53

I had a few lines under my eyes at 31. I’m 38 now and don’t think they’ve got any worse if it makes you feel any better. I think ageing happens in fits and starts for some people. I’ve just seen a video of Helen Mirren and she’s suddenly aged and definitely looks her 77 years now. Whereas previously I think she’d looked younger than her years. She can afford every lotion and potion going.

LetsDoThis2023 · 06/01/2023 16:54

Try to look at exploring and evolving what's inside you, instead of being so focused on the external.
Women are not just here to look pretty OP

ItsACrater · 06/01/2023 16:55

Genetics 100% my mum is 60 bless her had me at a young age. She’s got nothing!! No crow feet it’s amazing. I’m only 20 years younger than her and similarly have nothing. People think we’re sisters. She now uses clarins but grew up using Ponds and Nivea! She’s a huge sun lover too!!