To think I’ve just been banned from mumsnet

[Letsallgototherapyagain]

I recently wrote a post sharing my experiences of being hit by an au pair when I was a child.

I got an email notification saying someone had added a reply to the thread but when I clicked on the link to see my thread, I was shocked and confused to find that it had been deleted for breaking talk guidelines.

I also noticed that I was no longer logged in. It says my account has been deactivated.

I NC for the first time when I wrote that recent post but I’ve been here for years.

I’m really shocked and feel really upset about it actually.

I have no emails from mumsnet explaining what’s happened or why this has happened.

When I tried to sign up again it came up with an error message stating that no new registrations are being accepted!

I wondered if this was personal to me (I.e my email has been banned from being registered) and I think that’s the case because when I attempted to register with my Apple ID and chose not to share my email, it let me sign up and I created this account.

I have emailed Mumsnet and asked them what’s going on.

I will also report this post in the hopes of getting the attention of a moderator so they can help me.

Has anyone ever had this happen to them? It’s a really horrible experience.

Does anyone remember my post? If so, have you any idea at why it got deleted?

I am sorry some of you have had such terrible experiences.

Sorry this has happened to you OP. Especially on a thread so personal and sensitive.

It has happened to me. I have had a couple of threads published in the Daily Mail so since then, I NC when starting a thread about a situation and tweak the details so as not to be outing (for example, will refer to DS as DD or change his age by a few months, up to a year).

I started a thread about something that happened on the weekend, and for reasons never explained, the thread was removed and my account was deleted. No word, no email, no contact, nothing.

I got in touch with MN and they said my thread had a number of reports (it really was not a controversial thread!) and they’ve decided my posting history has too many inconsistencies and therefore I must be posting in bad faith. I pointed out that I was protecting my identity and a common theme in all of those posts was that I had one child, a young toddler, but they still insisted I was posting in bad faith.

When I asked for examples of this bad faith posting, they responded with posts which were racially charged, claiming that they were examples of some of my posts…excepts they were posts by other posters which I had reported to MN.

They agreed to reinstate but I’m now super careful about what I post, which is a shame as this was a great support network for me. As a result, I also don’t believe all of the threads deleted because the OP was a troll were actually posted by trolls. I think too many MN users get triggered by the smallest of things and MN just deletes and blocks.

I was declared a “previously banned poster” even though I’d never been banned before

I had that too. That’s also why I don’t believe all trolls are actually trolls.

Oh god I do this too! Sometimes fell I have something helpful to say but alter the details as you do just to be safe! Didn’t ever think it could cause an issue I better be more careful.

Yep I commented and you rolled to me (thanks). Baffling as to why deleted, didn’t seem troll like at all.

God this is so weird that people have been banned for bring PBP when they haven't.
I never knew and yes if they're going to ban you or whatever they should at least tell you why

Yes! I posted when I was pregnant and I had women telling me that I should abort my baby because I was unmarried and the relationship was doomed to fail. Some may remember - I posted because I wanted my boyfriend to pay my private medical costs. I was blocked and couldn’t register again for years! I gave up and haven’t tried posting again until reading your post.

Update:

My boyfriend never left me. He asked me to marry him before our baby was born.

It was his friends who strongly suggested a private obstetrician and private hospital without even being asked.

I chose a private obstetrician and gave birth in a private hospital. Everything was covered by private insurance & government funds and my boyfriend paid the obstetrician direct. It was about $7k
I opted for a cesarean section so I wouldn’t ruin my VJ and my private (and very quiet) hospital suite over looked a beautiful church. I was there for about 5 days & had a double bed and there was a restaurant we could order food from as well as a nursery that could take our baby over night so I could sleep.

Babies die in the public hospitals in my city because the midwives aren’t doctors and there are resource constraints. I have a friend whose baby died in a public hospital because the midwives did nothing while the baby was in foetal distress and they persevered with a natural birth. My friend nearly died herself and she’s still traumatised over a decade later. There have been other baby deaths reported in the media in my city which is why you avoid going public if you have the money to pay.

I had also been present at a birth in a private hospital and found the midwives there to be lazy and unprofessional and it was the obstetrician who stood up to them. Basically, they couldn’t be bothered doing something with the baby immediately after birth even though it was medically necessary. The obstetrician really put them in their place.

I had two obstetricians, an anaesthesiologist, and a paediatrician and his assistant present at the birth. I didn’t want any midwife at all but I ended up with a male midwife in the operating room and I was fine with this as he didn’t need to do anything but take photos and he wasn’t chatty.

For all of you saying my relationship would fail - it hasn’t. It’s been over 4+ years together.

I vividly recall that some people argued with me about the public health resources in my country being excellent - despite those people never giving birth in my country.

I understand many of you are finding it difficult to even get a GP appointment or even be seen in A&E while your NHS struggles. I can call and make a GP appointment today if I wanted one. I can call a GP out to my house (I did this several times during Covid). I can go to a private hospital and be seen immediately. I actually did this during Covid lockdowns because the private hospitals refused to use beds for public patients.

Our medical system (Australia) is by no means perfect but it is preferable to the the NHS but the dual system (public & private) is necessary to ensure a hospital system that can treat all patients during a global pandemic (i.e. people who have cancer and need chemo or people who have organ failure or people who need elective surgery).

Anyway, so many of you were nasty and I guess I was cancelled because I had indicated beliefs that differed from your own.

But how are you posting if you've been banned?

It doesn't sound the same but I got suspended once. I couldn't login. Turns out it was because I'd used two different usernames on one thread. Total accident but my fault. Once they had an acknowledgement from me of what I'd done, they gave me a warning and reactivated me.
Is it possible you did something similar on a different thread? Or transgressed a different rule? But you should get an email with an explanation, though. (It too me several days to find mine!)

@RambamThankyouMam I was banned 3.5+years ago. Since then mumsnet have updated their site.

I can understand if I was being hateful and spewing awful things or just trolling. But I had some truly hateful comments directed at me and I was the one that was banned.

I suggest that someone starts a thread about this in site stuff.

Not with the specific example perhaps but to question why there are so many posters who seem to be being banned without valid reason, when they e.g. have a consistent posting history etc etc.

Because this thread is likely to be deleted because A, it will be considered a TAAT, and B, because OP is now a PBP.

But a conversation needs to be had, not just about the OP, but about others who have been through the same.

There is something wrong with their moderation recently.

I reported a dodgy post on a thread. Got a reply that the OP post was fine and they wouldn't take action. I had definitely reported only the reply not the whole OP. Utterly frustrating.

I don't know if it's lack of moderators or change of experience since the new website.

Thank you! I thought I was going mad…

Very poor.

I reported the thread.

I don’t know if the OP is genuine or not but either way it was an extremely graphic description of child abuse and even if the OP derived no pleasure from recounting it someone will have.

There is a post over a decade old about being hit as a child and experiences of this and there are men all over it - clearly googled some questionable stuff about little girls and discipline

Her original account was banned, she created a new account with different log in details. It says it right in the OP

She explains it right there in the OP. Try reading it again!

I didn’t read the thread in question, but if it was as graphic as you say then I can understand why it was reported, and I can understand why it was removed.

But if the OP has a clear previous posting history then MN should be looking at that before banning, even if the thread is inappropriate and not allowed to stand.

Hopefully if someone has reported to MN HQ. They will come on and clarify whether the OP actually does have the posting history she claims, although if it is a graphic thread I don’t think it should be reinstated, and a public forum is probably not the best place to write in graphic detail about abuse you have suffered.

Crikey, I've done that quite a few times - usually when I've changed username, then later gone back to comment on a long running thread. I change back to the name on the old thread for consistency, then forget after one or two comments and pop up looking like a new poster! I haven't had an email though. I suppose someone would have to report it for it to be questioned by Mumsnet.

Most likely it was just a mistake.

did you just name change or did you set up a new account?

(A new account for that post, not this one)

I don't think anyone reported me, @Tessisme. I think it was a contentious thread but I didnt post anything controversial. I had nothing deleted but maybe they see email addresses attached to the name or something so if they were keeping an eye on the thread, they'd notice different usernames for the same email.

I have quite a few usernames so I can't be linked and I think I was on one thread, think dieting or knitting sort of thing, under one name and I forgot to change when I posted a couple of comments on top of others I'd posted earlier under my regular name. It's a really easy mistake to make. I bet loads have done it.
I mean MNHQ weren't nasty or anything but they were quite pointed that I shouldn't do it again. (I think I might have done, though. Eek. 😔)

I’ve reported the thread and asked for clarification.

Hopefully just an error and can be sorted out

I thought I’d been blocked again this morning but it was actually my phone trying to automatically log me in with my banned account.

I’m really sorry to hear about other people’s experiences of being banned without explanation. It’s horrible.

I had no idea… I assumed that being banned was really rare and that there was some kind of process. I also never imagined I’d be banned myself.

I’ve mostly spent the last couple of years responding to other peoples posts and posting about my toddler and had some really great support and advise.

The way my previous post is described does make it sound dreadful. If it is perceived as graphic then I can see why it’s been deleted.

The voting was fairly even and there were a few people saying that what I experienced wasn’t that bad at all.

I have spent most of my life thinking ‘It’s no big deal. I got smacked because I was naughty’. But as I’ve got older and taken on different roles (in my family and my career), I came to realise it really wasn’t ok. Even if it doesn’t seem that awful to some.

Maybe it’s good that it’s been deleted.

But why did I post in the first place? I guess because I wondered what the general consensus is here. I wondered if others had experienced the same and could relate. It felt safe to do so on an anonymous forum.

It’s a really strange experience to read other people talking about you, questioning if you are telling the truth.

And then on top of that, Mumsnet have banned my original account. So I can completely understand why that would make people question my authenticity!

If I get deleted again and can’t come back or this post gets deleted, I’d just like to say:

I’m alright. And I apologise if my post was inappropriate for this forum.

But most of all, thank you for your empathy and for taking the time to reply. I’m really grateful.

I suppose this goes to show just how fleeting and invisible so many significant situations, interactions and moments can be.