AIBU to feel a bit hurt that I turn out to be Plan B or possibly C?

[pattihews]

There's someone I've known and admired from a distance for years. I bumped into them at an event last year and we had a pleasant chat, so I was delighted today to receive a warm personal invitation to celebrate their big birthday in a month's time. They've rented a beautiful house on the coast with bedrooms in a converted barn and a hot tub. A weekend of events, dancing and good food is planned. They'd love it if I'd come along.

Sounds wonderful, I said, can't think of anything I'd like more.

They've just sent me a pdf that outlines the venue and the event and asks me to send payment of £60 to cover two nights accommodation and food immediately. There is some small print attached that indicates that full payment for the venue is due tomorrow. I'm Plan B, aren't I? Or even Plan C or D or E or bloody Z. They've had a few Plan A people cancel or decline the invitation and they've gone through their contacts list looking for outliers who'll pay the deposit and enable the plan to go ahead and at the 11th hour they thought they might as well invite me.

AIBU to feel a teensy bit gutted?

Tricky one because I would feel like you, but also why would you expect to be Plan A for someone you are clearly at best an acquaintance with? If they like you, and you like them, this could be the start of a great friendship.

Or maybe she’s just planning it in a rush but I think that’s less likely.

Most likely, but it sounds like fun so you should go if you want. I had plans C & D for my wedding, they made it to the list of people just not the top list (because numbers were limited) it didn't mean I didn't like them, in fact I was glad some family couldn't make it, meant I could invite more friends. They still want you to come or they wouldn't have invited you

Plan A could have been someone the HAD to invite, long term friend/sister.
You're someone they've hoped would come, nobody invites someone they don't like for £60!

Go, you sound fun OP! Have a ball and don't worry about anything, all friendships start somewhere x

Honestly, while £60 is a lot to some for someone who has rented a big house its likely not to be a lot - they wouldn't invite someone they didn't like to their birthday for the sake of £60 as it could ruin the dynamic. Its a small guest list I really think you are over thinking this - just go an enjoy.

Well, he used to occasionally ask for advice or information in the days when we both worked in publishing, but we all networked and maintained contacts, so it was nothing unusual. He moved out of publishing before I did and has had a successful career in something unrelated — though he still manages to put out a novel every few years.

Re the money, I'm not expecting any hidden costs. The cost of the accommodation is being covered by our host and the £60 is to cover breakfasts and dinner on the Friday night, which is being catered.