Rude sister and her precious dog

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I went round to my grandmothers place for some tea tonight and to see my sister & her partner, I haven’t seen them all Christmas as they are London way. They take their rescue Greyhound dog everywhere with them, and so much of the conversation is based on their precious pet and his walks. I get it, I am a dog lover and love my dog but she lets this dog jump and lie everywhere! I am boundaried with my dog and make sure she gets off furniture and doesn’t get in way. My sister is adamant she wants to be child free forever, hates kids and her dog is like her baby. Whereas, I’m the opposite to her, I’m 7 months pregnant and I do love my dog but I think they should know their place..

So to the point, AIBU…her dog was laid sprawled across my grandmothers sofa, there was no other seating available, my husband went to shift the dog over and sit.. the dog barked and growled. Got over it. Then my grandma came to sit down on her own sofa, just perched on the armchair part, and the dog growled and snapped at her, so intensely that my grandma screamed and she fell to the floor. I lost it, I shouted ‘right, the dog needs to be on his dog bed, this isn’t your house, it’s made grandma fall over and this isn’t right!’ My sister came back with ‘I warned you all to leave him on the sofa by himself, he’s allowed to have his space, he doesn’t have to sit on his own bed!’ She then screamed insults at me along lines of ‘that my dog was naughty too, that because I’m pregnant I’m not special, I could still give up my seat for grandma to sit’ she was so mad and her comments made me feel more annoyed..and her partner was saying something like ‘he can stay on the sofa all he likes.. that my grandma shouldn’t sit on her own sofa?! Wtf.

ugh it just wound me up so much, people shouldn’t allow their dogs to dominate their lives and environments. I’m so worried when my baby comes about my baby being snapped at. They take the dog everywhere and treat it like a prince!! Her comments were unnecessary. I’m so annoyed that they never even apologised to my grandma or my husband or rectified their dogs behaviour. My grandma struggled to get up off the floor, and they just watched and made sure their dog was ok instead.

they are here for the weekend and I can’t be bothered with anymore conversations with them. I didn’t like her pregnancy comments and it came across as bitter tbh, just for pointing out her dog should be on a dog bed.

Dogs rule. YABU

They don’t rule when they attempt to bite someone…

Your dear sis will stop being invited anywhere with such a dog. The penny may eventually drop ….

That sounds absolutely awful OP. Yadnbu. I'd avoid seeing your family when she's going to be there. Ridiculous way to treat a dog and I'm a big dog lover too.

Dogs rule. But this one is clearly a badly behaved twat who is being allowed to behave as such by its owner.

I came on to say YABU but I've changed my mind because obviously your sister needs to have a strong word with herself about how badly she's been behaving. Has she always been so narcissistic?

She’s the cause of the dog’s attitude. I’ve had dogs all my life but I’m the boss, the dog does as I say, and he, and the dog before him, and the one before that were all happy, well socialised dogs. I only have to click my fingers and say bed and my Lab is on his bed. Unfortunately your sister’s dog may well bite someone if it’s this possessive over furniture.

Separate issues

its a concern if the dog is looking like bite and that needs to be addrssed

your sister is not bitter because you’re pregnant. Being pregnant does not make you superior to women who choose to not have a child.

Did she apologise to your grandma? That's awful.

Also my dog is allowed anywhere, buy that's because it behaves impeccably. Any sign of a snarl and it would find itself outside very swiftly. Not that that's ever happened.

Dogs rule …. my arse… some owners are brats and the rise of the precious dog to kingship status who can do no wrong gets my own nerves. Dogs everywhere… in restaurants, pubs, shops, ffs. It’s a sad state when dog is given the sofa and the owners have to stand !!
YANBU at all. Your sister is deluded and very unkind to her own grandmother.

My dog is allowed on the sofa, but it’s at my discretion and if he growled at anyone wanting to sit down, he’d be removed sharpish.

It’s one thing letting the dog have a sofa if there are plenty of places to sit. Quite another to expect people to go without a chair because the dog is taking up seats that people need.

Your sister is being ridiculous.

Same here - he can sit on the sofa but he moves if there's not enough space for everyone to sit and he's removed from the environment if he was ever to get aggressive

I can’t believe she has the cheek to behave like that in someone else’s house! It’s not even her sofa! Your sister sounds nuts!!! To be honest I just wouldn’t let her visit with the dog to your place with the baby. Or at the very least insist it is in a separate room. Your house your rules then at least!

"I lost it, I shouted ‘right, the dog needs to be on his dog bed, this isn’t your house, it’s made grandma fall over and this isn’t right!’"

What tends to happen when you lose it and shout at someone? Do they respond favourably? I'll answer that myself...they do not.

I don't disagree with you regarding the dog taking up the sofa but right or wrong, shouting at her was never going to result in anything but bargy.
I'm not even blaming you...we all snap now and then, however, maybe accept that this was a flash of anger on both parts and let it die.

Awful behaviour from your sister, towards you and your grandma. I love dogs, have a rescue greyhound myself. She has never been allowed on furniture, has her own bed or lays on the fireside rug. Doesn't go upstairs either. No need to take dogs everywhere you go imo.

We have a rescue greyhound and had some of this behaviour right at the start. We now have none of it, because we are responsible owners. Ours has also had to experience our daughter being born and the impact that has had. We have really clear boundaries to protect everyone and I think that people who don’t are ignorant. Your sister should be wanting to make sure her dog isn’t aggressive as much for the sake of the dog as everyone else, that’s a stress reaction.

When you have your baby, keep it well away. Our lovely hound adapted and is perfectly fine now (although I don’t leave them all together unmonitored, but that’s actually because my daughter is probably the worst now) but we had to work really hard at it and be consistent. It doesn’t sound like your sister will do that.

She’s out of order letting her dog growl at people when they’re out. If I was your gran I wouldn’t let them in my house again.

WTAF. Now I've heard it all, CF of the biggest kind!

YANBU in feeling that dogs should not be aggressive to humans, and should not be menacing your grandmother in her house. Greyhounds are big dogs and need to be well behaved and socialized. You are not unreasonable to be worried about safety and I would not want this dog in my house.

However, your comments about your sisters motivations and life do smack of smugness and superiority so although her behaviour is bang out of line, I wonder if you are rubbing her up the wrong way.

dogs are amazing, I have a staffy myself! Excited and boisterous so you can imagine..😆 I am well aware the need for important boundaries for the dogs, there was none. I let the first snap go at my husband, but the second time was too much and I did tell her to remove the dog… who wouldn’t?!

I don’t think I was rubbing her up the wrong way.. everything was all good before hand, and maybe our opposites in wanting kids is not relevant here tbh so I should’ve left it out!

It is a lovely dog, it’s just been allowed to do whatever he wants and like others said has kingship status. It’s too much! I absolutely agree and will take on that advice that I won’t be letting baby near…

My dog can sit wherever he wants but he'd never growl at anyone wanting to sit near him.

Saying that, your sister did warned you all that he liked his space - so why did none of you think to ask the dog to get down before going and sitting near him, especially after the first incident?

I'm surprised nobody seems to have picked up on the fact that she thought a 7-months pregnant woman should give up her seat for Grandma so that the bloody dog didn't have to! YADNBU.

Well clearly you aren’t being unreasonable but your sister sounds nuts

and I have dogs