Am I being too much???

[thegreatesty]

I have a 6 month old DC.
DP and I haven't been out together without baby.
We have decided to go out and MIL will have baby for the first time.
I'm already anxious being away from the baby.

MIL has now messaged to say she's invited family round to meet the baby on that day.
I feel uneasy about it. It will be the first time away from the baby.
And DC hasn't met the other family members before.

Am I being a pain in the arse saying I'm not happy for this to happen?

The issue here is not with family, obviously family interacting with babies is completely normal... the issue is these people, family or not, are strangers to the baby and it's baby's first night away from home. I think inviting people round like this could really wait until later sleepovers when it's clear whether baby is unsettled away from home or not, not on the 1st night away from their parents.

Sorry but she's being selfish. It's your baby, she should be lucky you are allowing her to have the baby. They baby isn't a doll to show off!!!!!! Absolutely disgusting.

Why hasn't your 6 month old already met these family members? If they're local, is it due to their lack of interest or your anxiety over people touching your dc?

If its first time leaving baby I completely understand. You want to be able to visualise what's happening so you can feel comforted and assured. With lots of extra people there's more variables and hard to know what's going on. I think once baby has been away from you a few times you would feel more comfortable. But the first time you want it to be as simple as possible. It's a lot for baby to adjust to too. First time without you and then loads of new people without your comfort there.

If those family haven't already met your 6 month old due to no fault of your own it's very possible they're not actually going to be that interested in holding the baby??
I'm assuming they are distant family.

I don’t think her first time without you is the best time for a bunch of strangers to meet her and pass her round like she’s a toy. Why is she waiting til she has her alone to do this? Could you organise a get together beforehand?

This isn't unreasonable at all! You know your baby best and it sounds like you're worried about baby becoming overwhelmed and you not being there to then ground and resettle baby which is completely reasonable. Express your concerns and the reason behind them. I feel any mother will understand. Even if you have to put a softener in there to say friends can meet baby soon when you are there. Stick to your guns op you're obviously a great mummy looking out for babies best interest

Personally I'd be grateful of the offer of a babysitter and I'd be eased that my mother in law was so proud that she wanted to show off her grandchild.

*pleased

I don’t think you are being unreasonable OP.

To some extent it depends on how many others are expected, eg a couple of people could be OK, but a whole heap of strangers trooping in, not good.
Could you arrange to be there for this ‘Meet and Greet’ to reassure yourself, and arrange to go out a different day?

If you are only going for a couple of hours then I wouldn’t worry too much

Why would the baby be passed around like a ‘toy’?! They’re hardly going to lobbing the baby across the room to each other. Babies generally like cuddles and attention and being played with, ours loved having new faces around and the interaction. I honestly don’t know of anyone who would chuck a baby around like a toy.

I would have personally nearly bit my family’s hands off for a few hours babysitting, especially at 6m, they’re not a newborn.

Exactly. Lots of responses on here are quite quite bonkers.

Given it's first time MIL has looked after baby then she might not really know what she's in for. Baby could be a nightmare once you've left the house. How long are you going for? Will she have to do feeds and bath etc? or are you going out for lunch?

Personally she'd be better off getting this first one under her belt to make sure baby is happy to settle, then do the friends/family another time. How many is she talking anyway? And do you know them?

The baby is also likely to be fine, and is seemingly very familiar with its own grandparents already.

The baby will be fine with the visitors, but if you don't want to leave the baby you don't have to. There is no law on this.

I'd be worried someone with a cold sore might kiss her. Infact germs in general. We're still allegedly Coviding.

Genuinely, would you? I can't imagine living at that level of anxiety.

How many people?

At six months my baby was looked after by my mum as I went back to work. Can't imagine what my mum would have said if I banned visitors. Six months isn't a newborn.

How is babysitting selfish? I’d make it easy for you - I won’t do it!
I don’t think MIL has done anything wrong at all. She’s excited and invited family.

I find it quite awful for babies to be passed round and shown off like a new toy, and wouldn’t like this to happen either. Not for MIL to introduce baby to others.

100% not being a pain in the arse. It's your baby and your rules so you decide who sees them. Dont be bullied into doing stuff you don't feel comfortable with. You can say no. Its your party.

It's your party?!

YANBU, I personally think MIL should be focusing on looking after your DC, letting her settle and should not be juggling looking after a 6 month old baby, hosting friends and playing the doting grandmother on the first occasion that she is babysitting! I would also be very concerned at the baby being exposed to lots of potential viruses (assuming you live in the UK - I know very few people who would describe themselves as feeling 100% at the moment!). Shouldn’t your MIL be a little more sensitive that this is in fact a big milestone for you? I know I would be reassuring my DD, not adding to her anxieties. Plus, selfishly, I would be enjoying the 1:1 time and wouldn’t want to share my precious GC 😃