To think violence between adults in a family is never okay?

[BradfordGirl]

I do not think they are nuances or good reasons for violence between adults in a family. It is always wrong.

*nor

Yes a lot of things are British remnants (Section 377, anti gay law introduced by the British for instance).

I don't want to get too political but since you referred to different countries... Countries that were front facing parts of the Empire (such as port cities) were treated far better for appearances. They've thrived as independent states and have a growing middle class base demanding these legacies change for the better (S377 recently repealed in one of them).

More traditionally exploited territories / countries in Empire are wracked by poverty and corruption as a result, and changing these social and legal constructs are not among their immediate priorities unfortunately.

Studied and researched this for uni. Interesting topic.

Tensions between 2 brothers coming to a head resulting in one falling over and a broken necklace and dog bowl, is not 'OK' but it's not abusive level of violence.
If the word 'brothers' was changed for women or men would it also be considered not an abusive level of violence?
I believe all violence is abusive ( except for something like siblings fighting over a toy)

Agree with you 100%.

It’s vile that people are trivialising a man in his 30s attaching his brother. It’s just sickening.

I also have never experienced violence in my family. My brother is a proper arsehole. But as adults neither of us has ever hit the other one.

Would depend. On lots of things.

The level of violence, the frequency, the relationship, the power imbalances, the possible impact.

Still wouldn't be 'OK' but not all situations are equally terrible.

Trying to equate all violence, regardless of all the above and think this is the moral high ground is just simplistic nonsense and in fact deeply immoral.

No, violence is never ok.

I would hope that a one off scuffle between angry brothers for example resulted in them acknowledging the disagreement was handled badly, and ensuring it never happens again.

Self awareness in a situation like this is key, a genuine apology and understanding that mistakes happen (forgiveness) people aren't perfect but how can we do better?

If this sort of behaviour is ongoing then anger management and counselling/ mediation should be sought.

Agreed OP. Very odd seeing people minimise this.

No it's not acceptable, ever.

If I came on here and said that my brother/sister had assaulted me and I'd ended up on the floor injured, people would be telling me to go no contact, call the police.

Because people will defend William and Kate to the end no one will ever admit that it's wrong.

I can also honestly say that as an adult, however angry I've felt at times, and believe me I've been angry at family members over the years. I've never hit anyone or got physical at all.

Trying to equate all violence, regardless of all the above and think this is the moral high ground is just simplistic nonsense and in fact deeply immoral.

Read my post properly
I said all violence is abusive. I wonder about any person who calls this statement 'deeply immoral'!

All violence is abusive

Agree with this.

My first thought on hearing this was “has William done that to Kate?”

@LizzieSiddal Well according to many supporters it would be no big deal if he had.

I don’t know why you think I was comparing these cases. I was pointing out that violence between adults is abhorrent, but before we condemn we need to know more about context.

All violence isn't abusive.
That's just simplistic nonsense.

There are many situations when violence is required, necessary and moral.

There are also situations when violence is not acceptable but it is understandable.

There are also situations when violence is not acceptable but where the culpability is shared.

There are also situations where violence is not acceptable but the ramifications for grown adults are minor and the term abuse minimises real abuse.

All violence isn't abusive.
Please go on. Apart from war I'd love some examples

@LizzieSiddal and @BradfordGirl - you may be against any physical violence but you sure ain’t above spewing violent words. Shame on the pair of you.

I agree generally with it being “wrong”
for one person to be violent towards another. However I don’t think I would say every act of violence (if by that you mean someone physically pushing/hitting soemone) is “wrong”. The example someone else gave here of their DP pushing his brother when his brother was shouting at him and preventing him from leaving, I don’t think I’d consider that “wrong” as such.

Generally though yes violence between adults is wrong - save for a small minority of situations.

Yep. So many royal stans on these threads.

I don't understand why people get so wound up over what H says - he's not talking about your family, none of us know them. Why invest so much of your time defending some of the most privileged people on the planet? Bizarre.

The thing is violence is described as an act used to injure abuse damage or destroy. As much as harry was injured as he fell over onto the dog bowl. It does read like William was trying to push him away as opposed to attempting to cause him physical harm, albeit that was the upshot of the flash reaction..

But words can also be used to injure, abuse damage or destroy and for me, harry is far far more guilty here, as he is clearly repeatedly and for money using his words to injure abuse damage and destroy his brother and father.

Well war is the key one which totally undermines your statement so I'm not surprised you want to quickly dismiss it 😁

A few others I can think of:
Man who hits intruders with cricket bat in his house when his family are asleep upstairs.

Person who hits assailant in Terror situation with a chair.

Women who attacks man after years of control.

Person who kicks a violent dog off another dog it is attacking.

Man who finds the man who raped his daughter and beats him up.

Some of those are acceptable some are not acceptable, non are abuse.

Your statement 'All violence is abuse' is simplistic moral grandstanding which makes you feel good but just isn't true.

Well self defence is ok, and is a form of violence.

But if you’re talking about for example a brother losing his temper with his brother and using violence, if it’s as one sided as that it doesn’t sound acceptable. And of course still unacceptable if on both sides as there’s always fall out.

Oh, and one off situation between brothers where one falls in the dog bowl. Not abuse.

Not acceptable, not admirable, needs taking seriously between them but not abuse.

But agree with PPs that self defence isn’t the only time it’s acceptable, and examples such as @MalagaNights gave.