Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Family Business Issue

53 replies

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:04

Part of a family business and my sister who has been involved for not that long has become very successful within it and now wants to set up her own business to make more money.

AIBU to feel a bit sad about this?

Of course from a business perspective we out many hours and time into training her etc and just feel it's a bit premature really.

Also just feel a bit sad by it and unexpected.

NC as of course want to remain anonymous

OP posts:

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:22

Will she be competing? Trying to take your custom? Or will it leave the original business unaffected?

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:25

Well technically it would be - but I guess there's enough customers to go round so I'm not so fussed about that it's just, I don't know made me feel a bit sad that's all.

Many hours of training mentoring and coaching have got her to this point so I just would have expected a bit more commitment for longer

OP posts:

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:31

But if she's become really successful with it and has an appetite for more....should she sacrifice that because of the family connection? I'm on the fence, I dont think I'd want to hold anyone back from achieving their dreams.

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:33

@RayRai that's fair hence why I'm posting as I guess IABU but I'm just a bit sad I don't know why hoping someone can help me decide or relate

OP posts:

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:33

Decode*

OP posts:

DomesticShortHair · 04/01/2023 22:36

If she wasn’t your sister but just an employee, how would you feel about it. More importantly, what would you do about it? I know she is your sister, so it’s more complicated. But it might help you to understand and deal with it better.

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:38

Was it an already established business that she's joined and then now wanting to start up herself doing the exact same thing? That could be seen as a bit out of order, as she only knows about it all through the family business. Tricky one.

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:45

@DomesticShortHair @RayRai yes both correct a fully fledged and established business business that encouraged her to join and volunteered a position to her within it's been going many years

OP posts:

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:47

@DomesticShortHair if I'm completely honest there's no way I'd accept it being not my
Sister - id be much much more angry. It's been threatened by previous staff members but they lack ambition and drive so it's never materialised to anything

I feel awful even posting about it but just needed outside opinion

OP posts:

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:48

Is she limited to what she can do there? Can she achieve more by herself? Or is it that she will simply just earn for herself? Has she given a reason why she wants to set up alone instead of staying with the family business?

Newusernameaug · 04/01/2023 22:49

It’s sad that she doesn’t want to plough that energy into the family business helping it to grow for all the family, we have a family business, none of us would dream of setting up something on our own that had any sort of conflicting interest. I too would be really disappointed that they were being so selfish and short sighted

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:49

@RayRai yes it's purely financial / and like any sector when you run a business of course the reseeds may be higher but it comes with much more stress and higher risks which I don't think has been considered from what I know after having a convo - it's purely about money

OP posts:

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:51

@Newusernameaug are you a shareholder though or an an employed contract?

I agree it's shortsighted as I offered long term the option to profit share once things grow further but it seemed she wanted short term gain

OP posts:

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:52

I'd say its a bit shitty of her then to be honest!

RayRai · 04/01/2023 22:53

Is it your business? How long has it been set up?

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:53

and also sorry it's not a family business per say it doesn't have my whole family members working in it just a select few

OP posts:

DomesticShortHair · 04/01/2023 22:53

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:47

I feel awful even posting about it but just needed outside opinion

The trouble is, as you obviously know, is that ordinarily you could just deal with this situation and then move on. But because it’s your sister, the aftermath from any outcome will have wider and longer lasting effects on your family.

Thats the issue, it’s not really a business matter, it’s a family matter. I think that’s how I would approach it- having a sister to sister conversation, rather than a business conversation. How does the rest of the family feel about it? If it comes down to it, would they have their ‘family’ heads on, or their ‘business’ heads?

I’d be sad and feel let down too, for the record.

NameIsBryceQuinlan · 04/01/2023 22:54

I think this is bad of her. Will you need to hire for the position she is doing currently? Can't she grow the family business? I don't understand why she is going off on her own it's hard to imagine the scenario.

(I work in a family business)

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:54

@RayRai it's partly mine yes and been going over a decade

OP posts:

determinedtomakethiswork · 04/01/2023 22:55

Will her lack of experience lead her to fail?

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:55

@DomesticShortHair correct which was part of the reason very carefully considered offering her the job in the first place as I knew it was inevitable at some point there would be an issue because pretty much every member of staff creates an issue at some point but of course when it's not a family member it makes it much easier from an emotional perspective to deal with and I guess I knew this would happen but I was being selfless in wanting to create an opportunity for her and I still do but it just feels like a very complicated situation

OP posts:

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:56

@NameIsBryceQuinlan yes we would need to rehire for the position correct - I made it clear that there is no going back if she wants to do this though as I'm not going through this hassle twice

OP posts:

BeckettandCastle · 04/01/2023 22:57

I think its really shitty of her and Id be really hurt by her actions.

I hope you will not offer her any advice or support with it.

If she wants to leave your business and in all liklihood poach your customers, then I would start as I mean to go on - low contact, not speaking about work at all ever and let her do everything for it herself.

I hope now she's told you this you've told her to leave her role with you immediately and not give her the opportunity to take any of your customers with her.

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:57

@determinedtomakethiswork that is a very possible prospect but I didn't want to say this as I don't want it to come across that I'm dissuading her - she may think i have ulterior motives which I absolutely don't but I want to be positive and encouraging to an extent

OP posts:

Original poster

ncpostingabout · 04/01/2023 22:59

@BeckettandCastle thank you And your post has made me laugh, I hope you don't take that the wrong way just the brutality of it! I feel like I'm probably being very jaded due to it being family but your post has kind of given me a reality check thank you my emotions are clouding me hence I posted here

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread