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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Play dates and etiquette surrounding cats and dogs?

52 replies

Staffielove23 · 04/01/2023 17:18

My toddler has a play date organised next week with a mum that’s new to the area and her little one. I very seldom have folk round because I enjoy spending time alone. I also have 4 cats and a dog. Would it weird to check she’s not allergic to cats or frightened of dogs? Or should I just play it by ear.

YABU to mention it. They’re coming to see the people, not the pets.

YANBU to mention it. They might be allergic.

OP posts:
Gingerlygreen · 04/01/2023 17:19

I'd mention it, I've got 3 dogs and I always check with the parents that the kids are OK with them before they come round.

Coffeellama · 04/01/2023 17:20

I’ve never had anyone let me no they have pets before going round, if I was allergic or my kids hated them I’d ask before going.

Cococomellon · 04/01/2023 17:20

Yes mention it

SuburbanMummy123 · 04/01/2023 17:23

Yes, I’d mention it incase the toddler is afraid of dogs, or even just so the mum can talk to her toddler how to be gentle etc with them

EndlessRain1 · 04/01/2023 17:24

We have a dog, if I don't know the child I mention it in advance. If the child is scared I put the dog in another room.

Pixiedust1234 · 04/01/2023 17:26

I would assume you dog would be in another room, and your cats have access to outside or upstairs away from grabby hands?

You could mention it from an allergy point of view but normally those with allergies tend to mention it first. Personally I wouldn't think twice providing all pets had escape routes.

Original poster
Staffielove23 · 04/01/2023 17:52

@Pixiedust1234 Well yeah, she usually goes in the kitchen and I’ve got the stair gate separating the rooms. The cats have outside access but they have a habit of jumping onto your lap!

OP posts:
Hugasauras · 04/01/2023 17:54

I put the dog away. Never bothered mentioning we have a cat. Sometimes she appears, sometimes she doesnt! But I don't think kids are generally scared of cats anyway. Allergy is a good point but if it was bad enough to be an issue I'd expect the parent to mention it as lots of people have pets.

ClubhouseGift · 04/01/2023 17:59

YANBU. You need to mention it. I don’t like animals and wouldn’t feel comfortable with my toddler coming to your house, especially when you have so many.

Playdate would have to be in a neutral place, no animals, or not at all.

Pixiedust1234 · 04/01/2023 18:01

If the cats jump on your lap when sitting then it will be fine. Toddlers never sit still😂

Perhaps I should come round and do a test?

Newuser82 · 04/01/2023 19:24

I would check. I also would put the dog away unless they had dogs themselves.

ExtraJalapenos · 04/01/2023 19:28

You know the rules OP
You can't mention cats without an obligatory pic of said felines for us to coo over!

FromTheFront2theBack · 04/01/2023 19:39

Either way's fine. Do you need to know in advance if child is scared of the dog or could you just keep the dog in a different room? I assume if they were terribly allergic to anything they'd ask you in advance if you have pets.that said I wouldn't think someone was weird if they mentioned it.

Original poster
Staffielove23 · 04/01/2023 21:31

ClubhouseGift · 04/01/2023 17:59

YANBU. You need to mention it. I don’t like animals and wouldn’t feel comfortable with my toddler coming to your house, especially when you have so many.

Playdate would have to be in a neutral place, no animals, or not at all.

Just out of curiosity, do you check beforehand whenever you visit someone’s house?

OP posts:
Original poster
Staffielove23 · 04/01/2023 21:32

Pixiedust1234 · 04/01/2023 18:01

If the cats jump on your lap when sitting then it will be fine. Toddlers never sit still😂

Perhaps I should come round and do a test?

😂😂 That’s a fair point. Will probably want to dodge the chaos!

OP posts:
satelliteheart · 04/01/2023 21:40

It's never occurred to me to mention the dog or cat to be honest. But I do always shut the dog away when other kids come over (she has access to the kitchen and her own bedroom and a doggy door to the garden) as she's lovely but absolutely adores all people and when we have new people in the house she will be literally nudging their heels the entire time and I'm sure kids would find this annoying when trying to play

The cat will often wander in to have a nose at who is here but doesn't tend to get too close and normally retreats upstairs if it gets noisy or she's approached

I've always assumed anyone with an allergy or who hates animals would ask about them before coming round

Rosebel · 04/01/2023 22:06

I never mentioned having cats but one would run as soon as someone unknown came round and the other would often be in the room but didn't get close to children really. If I had a dog I'd mention it but probably keep it in a separate room anyway.

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 07:34

Staffielove23 · 04/01/2023 21:31

Just out of curiosity, do you check beforehand whenever you visit someone’s house?

Show quote history

Of course, because animal owners tend to think their animal isn’t a issue to anyone else 🤨

Also if your dog is a staffie I would never let my child near it. Totally unsafe.

Newuser82 · 05/01/2023 09:08

@ClubhouseGift Staffies aren't unsafe dogs. Pit bulls and pitbull crosses and xl bull breeds are the ones you need to look out for. Staffies are lovely, friendly dogs!

Original poster
Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 09:09

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 07:34

Of course, because animal owners tend to think their animal isn’t a issue to anyone else 🤨

Also if your dog is a staffie I would never let my child near it. Totally unsafe.

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Well with that attitude you wouldn’t be invited anyway…

OP posts:
ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 09:11

Newuser82 · 05/01/2023 09:08

@ClubhouseGift Staffies aren't unsafe dogs. Pit bulls and pitbull crosses and xl bull breeds are the ones you need to look out for. Staffies are lovely, friendly dogs!

No, staffies are powerful and aggressive animals. They’re also really ugly and I have no idea why they’re so popular Confused

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 09:11

Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 09:09

Well with that attitude you wouldn’t be invited anyway…

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Excellent 😊

User4873628 · 05/01/2023 09:12

I wouldn't let someone know in advance but I would put the animals away in another room or outdoors.

Then if the visitor wanted to see them I would let them out.

But I'd start with the assumption that they would be in another room

Original poster
Staffielove23 · 05/01/2023 09:13

ClubhouseGift · 05/01/2023 09:11

No, staffies are powerful and aggressive animals. They’re also really ugly and I have no idea why they’re so popular Confused

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Suddenly I am reminded as to why I prefer my own company 🙄

OP posts:
Chesneyhawkes1 · 05/01/2023 09:16

@ClubhouseGift wow rude much! Luckily beauty is in the eye of the beholder and some of us think they are beautiful dogs.

Just as someone must have thought you were 🙄