to ask why there are such conflicting views on how we perceive young people and children on here.

[pillow56]

When an adult raises a voice to a child on mn it's seen as very wrong and traumatising for the child and by child I mean anybody under 18.

Yet mn seems to have a view that any child over 15 (and even 14 in some cases) it's fine for them to drink, stay out as late as they want or have sex/share bed with boyfriends and gfs. The thinking seems to be as they are mature enough at that age and parents who want to enforce rules and boundaries often get roasted as at 15/16 they can stay out all night if they want apparently and many here condone teen holidays abroad at that age with no parents as the thinking goes they have the maturity anyway and parents should back off...

On the other hand though if any adult in their mid 20s and up is dating a 17-21 yo it's seen as highly inappropriate as the 20yo is still a child, vulnerable and shouldn't be dating a 26 yo.

Can I ask why there is such a disparity on how we view our youth here?

I think you're conflating loads of issues there OP. Sharing beds raises totally different issues from staying out all night. And 15 and 16 raise different issues too as one is below the age of consent and one is the age where you can legally get married and have a child of your own. I do think you have a point though that there's a difference between accepting that ultimately if your teen is determined to flout your rules there's not an awful lot you can do and shrugging off as pointless any notion of boundaries. I don't really recognise the MN consensus against boundaries that you describe though.

I think most people are somewhere in the middle. I wouldn't be letting my 14 or 15 year old stay out all night drinking but once they are 16 and have finished their GCSEs then they can go on holidays and to festivals with friends.
Likewise I won't allow them to have sex in my house under 16 but I would probably allow it over 16.

You ok?

Eh?