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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being judged because I’m overweight

40 replies

Fluffyyellowduck · 03/01/2023 22:11

This has been bothering me since Christmas. We stayed with family members and the treat type food was hidden.

I didn’t realize things were hidden at first but when the biscuits were mentioned, I was asked to wait in the living room with the door closed while the biscuits were retrieved from their hiding place.

The reason it was hidden was because
the hider thought that I would not be able to ‘control’ myself if it was just left on the worktop. (Yes I am fat but I don’t ever stuff my face or struggle to control myself around food).

What can I do to change this perception other than lose weight? Apparently saying it is not enough.

It’s a family member so see them fairly regularly. This doesn’t usually come up as an issue as we don’t stay with them!

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 03/01/2023 22:16

🙄

DoesItMakeYouFeelBetter · 03/01/2023 22:16

My in laws give me smaller meals than everyone else ‘to help me’. I no longer see them.

Blahburst · 03/01/2023 22:20

Your family member is an arsehole. Spend less time near them.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/01/2023 22:21

That’s horrible
it’s not a weight issue
it’s a being a nasty person issue

Sparklesocks · 03/01/2023 22:21

That’s really shitty

Knobknob · 03/01/2023 22:22

That's really mean and downright stupid. Sadly you will be judged for being fat by people but your relative is an idiot and really rude

GrazingSheep · 03/01/2023 22:22

Did you say anything?

Kitkatcatflap · 03/01/2023 22:29

It's not you OP, it's them.

You can start by telling your family member they were incredibly rude and insensitive. Humiliating your guests is poor hosting and they owe you an apology.

Pashazade · 03/01/2023 22:33

Wow that is nasty. I'd not be visiting again anytime soon and I'd be making it clear that their awful attitude towards you is why.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 03/01/2023 22:33

Ask them about it, point blank in front of other people so they have to justify their batshit behaviour.

'When I came round at Xmas you'd hidden the biscuits because you thought I couldn't control myself and not eat them all. I assume that you think that because I'm overweight, is that really how you think of me?'

picnicshicnic · 04/01/2023 05:58

Bloody hell!

That is downright cruel.

Even if they weird enough to hide the biscuits in the first place, the dramatics about you waiting in the living room with the door closed and telling you why is because they wanted to let you know. They wanted to hurt you.

Completely unnecessary. Total arseholes.

Who is it? I'd either be having words or just not seeing them again. Awful behaviour.

PandaOrLion · 04/01/2023 06:02

Next time I’d turn up with my own biscuits and say that you were aware the ones at Christmas weren't for everyone so you brought some to share to ensure everyone could have one if they wanted.

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2023 06:03

The West is full of plenty of fat people tbh. So if they were hiding the food I wouldn't jump to the conclusion it was because of you.

Maybe ask them? There may be an alternative truth to the one we tell ourselves in our minds.

namechangeforthisoneeee · 04/01/2023 06:23

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2023 06:03

The West is full of plenty of fat people tbh. So if they were hiding the food I wouldn't jump to the conclusion it was because of you.

Maybe ask them? There may be an alternative truth to the one we tell ourselves in our minds.

What a bizarre reply. I'm sure there were not loads of people from "the west" there. Just her family. She was told not to look. It was about her. So if you wanna bitch about fat people from The West go do it somewhere else

fajitaaaa · 04/01/2023 06:24

The reason it was hidden was because
the hider thought that I would not be able to ‘control’ myself if it was just left on the worktop. did they tell you that? If so that's horrible and you should never go there again.

NoDairyNoProblem · 04/01/2023 06:27

I am so sorry someone who is supposed to love you did this to you. It’s cruel and shameful behaviour.

Shoxfordian · 04/01/2023 06:45

Don’t go round there again; they’re very rude - you don’t have to spent time with people like that

Mybonnielad · 04/01/2023 06:50

What rude behaviour. I wouldn't be seeing them again.

Ylvamoon · 04/01/2023 06:51

Your relative is a Control Freak.

Next time take your own biscuits and munch them on them in their front room. Leave plenty of crumbs and don't go back!

TabithaTittlemouse · 04/01/2023 06:54

What did you say when they did this?

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 04/01/2023 11:20

They sound horrible. I don't think I'd be visiting again.

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2023 11:37

namechangeforthisoneeee · 04/01/2023 06:23

What a bizarre reply. I'm sure there were not loads of people from "the west" there. Just her family. She was told not to look. It was about her. So if you wanna bitch about fat people from The West go do it somewhere else

Show quote history

How can you have any level of certainty from the post of a stranger online? How odd

I read the OP, and my post didn't "bitch about fat people" so don't twist narrative to fit your agenda.

namechangeforthisoneeee · 04/01/2023 11:56

@BabyOnBoard90 lol, quite clearly backtracking

Notbeinfunnehbut · 04/01/2023 12:01

That was cruel behaviour also Loudly declaring the door being shut, is the opposite of hiding

BabyOnBoard90 · 04/01/2023 12:27

namechangeforthisoneeee · 04/01/2023 11:56

@BabyOnBoard90 lol, quite clearly backtracking

Not backtracking anything, it's called verbal reasoning.

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