Why do people think Londoners are rude?

[beejeez]

I'm obviously biased as I'm originally from London, but why do people think Londoners are rude?

I was there a few days ago and it was so great to be back. I find true Londoners so friendly (OK, maybe not when commuting in and out of work, but definitely the rest of the time).

If you talk to them then they are really friendly back!

I don't think they are rude - just aloof

I find it pretty amazing that the reason most posters on this thread give for Londoners being rude is that they don’t speak to strangers

Imagine telling this to your daughters - “you must always smile at strangers and speak to people you don’t know or they’ll think you’re rude”. No, that doesn’t anyone rude.

Why would anyone want a random stranger to strike up a conversation with them on a train??

The few times someone’s done this to me it’s not improved my day in any way.

Seeing how mumsnet is normally full of posts from people who never answer their phone when it rings, or only answer the door bell when they’re expecting someone, I struggle to believe these same people want a stranger starting a conversation with them on a train.

Plus - as already mentioned up thread - there’s a definite gender component. There were occasions when I was younger when men started conversations with me on trains etc and there was an obvious ‘this woman owes me her time & smile’ mentality going on on their part.

It's not so much that they don't speak to strangers. I lived in a road of 40 houses in London for 6 years and by the time I left, I knew one neighbour by their first name.
It wasn't through lack of trying.

I’m a proper Londoner (born, raised, east end family) and I don’t think we are rude either.

you can tell someone who has moved here from somewhere else and they aren’t the same. Tourists, day trippers, the high stress level people seem to have on the tube. I took the kids to see the Christmas lights and there were instagrammers everywhere, we put up with a lot.

Shop assistants are particularly rude. There is no please or thank you or any friendliness.

And a lot of the time we mind our own business because the level of craziness we see daily is off the scale compared to what you might find on a tiny high street in a Berkshire village.

Well indeed. Like all places London gives back what you out in. Many people see London as a place to move for few years for an education/job/fun and don;t bother engaging with the community and wonder why it feels unfriendly.

Funnily enough it is a normal place with lots of communities of people going about their daily lives being normal and friendly to each other as any place.

How do people propose that us Londoners smile and say hello when we're, often passing through several tube and mainline stations per day?

My nearest mainline stations sees about 140,000 passengers per day, am I to smile and say hello to all of them, or just 10%? Maybe 25% on a particularly good day?

I am polite in so far as I offer my seat to those in need, I say sorry to people I bash into, I love a good London pub and will share my table with anyone but on a day to day basis I really don't understand what we're meant to do to be more friendly? It sounds like a boring cultural stereotype to me, said by people who can't articulate what it is they actually dislike about London.

Born and grew up in inner London, haven't lived there for years but still go there to visit friends or do museum/gallery/theatre stuff. It's not unfriendly but at times and in some places it can be a bit of a mare. If you're walking along Oxford Street and expecting a gentle meander you're out of luck. It's a circle of hell. The tube during rush hour, everyone is trying to get to work, leave them be. Spend time in just about any area and you'll see some of the same people, get to know the people working in shops and lo, conversations will happen, smiles will be exchanged, friendliness will be all around.

If you expect rudeness you'll find it everywhere, as someone has already said, it's confirmation bias. I'd heard how rude NYC is but being a Londoner and aware of the big lie about us I took the time to find out that it's a great big friendly place. There's a lot of anonymity in a big city and sometimes that can be a relief.

Exactly. If I stopped to say hello to everyone I encountered on the tube or streets of London it would take me like, 8 hours just to get to work. It’s easy to smile and chat to people when you only encounter a few people daily. Not so easy when it’s 9 million. It doesn’t mean people aren’t friendly for goodness sake.

There are so many tourists from other countries, or other parts of the UK. How do you know its always a Londoner?

To be honest after a day at work, last thing I want to do is chat! My commute ends up being 'me' time to wind down.

I don't want strangers to wave hello when I am fighting to get onto the Tube. But I know if I needed help, I could get it in London.

My experiences of tiny British villages as a brown person have not always been pleasant.

My experience as a Midlander (you know, the bit in the middle? The void? Southerners think of us as Northern and, well, we do too!) and DH is from London.

I've spent a lot of time down there with him and I do agree that the vibe is just different.

It's not that Londoners are 'unfriendly' individually, it's more about how people treat each other in public. There's just less interaction, care and assistance. Nobody speaks to each other. No 'Morning duck/bab/cock' etc. Old ladies avoid eye contact. It's just....colder.

I get that it's just a fairly normal big city mentality, and I quite enjoyed the anonymity aspect of city life when I was a city dweller, but it is a clear and stark difference to those who travel from elsewhere.

I once watched at least 50 people huff and puff as they passed a clearly struggling Mum with a pushchair coming down some tube steps. I went back up to help her and she thanked me, me obviously saying she's welcome etc and as she heard my accent she said, in a wonderfully thick Yorkshire twang - 'I should have known you'd be a Northerner! Nobody down here would ever stop to help!'. And, of course, some would, but not nearly a tenth as many!

That pretty much sums it up for me.

Threads like this really annoy me. How can you claim that 7 million people are rude just because they live in a certain area?
You cannot claim that based on the behaviour of those that you come across on a tube journey - many people on the Tube will not be Londoners (whether that means people born there, living there or just visiting - how you tell I don't know!).
People do not seem to understand just how big London is in a geographical sense. Most of South London doesn't even have Tube access!
If you are travelling through the centre of London, of course it will be busy, and few people have the time to chat. But most don't go out of their way to be rude.
Try the outer London Boroughs. I have lived there all my life and rarely meet rude people. Whether they are Londoners though I have no clue!

Exactly @Seeline We went in to Oxford street yesterday and it was really busy and very functional (I still had time to joke with the sales assistant in Clarks Shoes about their stupid online system that sends people to Tottenham Court Road when they mean the lower Oxford st branch).

But that is a very different experience to the more leisurely chats I have with the butcher on our local suburban London high street or even just the exchanged New Year greetings with the check out ladies in our Sainsbury's.

Central London is not all of London.

If we're trading anecdotes, when we lived in London we did know all our immediate neighbours by name, took in each other's parcels, exchanged Christmas cards, etc. (Thinking of our last flat in London, lived there for 5 years).

Ha! We have a building WhatsApp group in our flats and a Facebook page. It is 90% moaning about bins but there is a lot of taking in parcels and asking for recommendations etc..

Well, a lot of commuters on the Tube aren't actually Londoners, they've come in from the hostile hell of the Home Counties (I'm allowed to say that- I grew up there!).

A lot of visitors to London only see the Tube and the West End, which has few actual inhabitants, and is rammed with tourists and other people passing through.

Go to the areas where people actually live- and London is a collection of villages- and people are perfectly friendly.

My view is based on experience - people who try to shove me out of the way to get on the tube, walk eleventy abreast in tube subways etc., but the crowning glory was the bloke who rushed up and tried to shove me aside as I was waiting to cross at a pedestrian traffic lights - he jabbed me in the forehead with his umbrella in the process - as I said "well don't mind me", he snarled "you ent from round ere are ya?" Welcome to London.

Was he an extra from Mary Poppins?

I once watched at least 50 people huff and puff as they passed a clearly struggling Mum with a pushchair coming down some tube steps. I went back up to help her and she thanked me, me obviously saying she's welcome etc and as she heard my accent she said, in a wonderfully thick Yorkshire twang - 'I should have known you'd be a Northerner! Nobody down here would ever stop to help!'. And, of course, some would, but not nearly a tenth as many!

I would hazard your experience is very much the exception. I have spent decades on the tube/trains in London and have quite literally never seen someone left to struggle with a buggy on the steps. Usually when I make my way to offer to help someone else has got there before me.

Ahh @StaunchMomma this is lovely! And doesn't surprise me in the slightest as a fellow "northerner" (Lancashire!). I'd have not hesitated to help that mum either.

I've never found Londoners to be any ruder than anywhere else.
I've always been offered a seat on the tube with my little boy if it's busy and I've seen people helping with buggy's etc.
it's an extremely fast paced city with a high population turnover so I don't think making small talk is always possible or wanted.

Honestly I've not found Londoners to be rude at all. And I'm not from there.