Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why do people think Londoners are rude?

397 replies

beejeez · 03/01/2023 06:20

I'm obviously biased as I'm originally from London, but why do people think Londoners are rude?

I was there a few days ago and it was so great to be back. I find true Londoners so friendly (OK, maybe not when commuting in and out of work, but definitely the rest of the time).

If you talk to them then they are really friendly back!

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/02/2023 09:50

OdeToBillyJoe · 03/01/2023 18:18

I suppose a true Londoner would refer to someone born and bred in London, rather than someone who has moved to London to live.

Show quote history

I would call someone born and brought up in London a “real Londoner”, as opposed to those of us who moved here for work etc.

So I’ve lived in London 23 years but I’m not a “real Londoner” in that sense as I was brought up in the countryside.

Answering the OP, I agree that London is a diverse, welcoming city where people with origins from all over the world are welcomed and accepted. Just folded into the general Londonness.

I live in zone 5 so many would say not London (used to live more centrally pre children) and it’s so friendly where I am. Almost too much so as you end up with people knowing your business etc. But lovely people around here.

Jazzy21 · 02/02/2023 09:57

Nobody on the Tube gave up their seat for me when I was visibly heavily pregnant.
Very abrupt staff in (some) shops and cafes.
People are in a huge rush walking around - although this doesn’t bother me as I’m naturally a quick walker, I can see how it would bother others.
I’m Northern and people - perfect strangers - will often say good morning in the street, or pass a friendly comment in a lift or what not. I’ve never experienced that in London.

benten54 · 02/02/2023 10:32

Jazzy21 · 02/02/2023 09:57

Nobody on the Tube gave up their seat for me when I was visibly heavily pregnant.
Very abrupt staff in (some) shops and cafes.
People are in a huge rush walking around - although this doesn’t bother me as I’m naturally a quick walker, I can see how it would bother others.
I’m Northern and people - perfect strangers - will often say good morning in the street, or pass a friendly comment in a lift or what not. I’ve never experienced that in London.

Never? Not once? Travelling every day for 3-5 months while visibly pregnant you never got offered a seat once?

Weird because I lived there for 20years, commuted everyday over two tube lines and I have never seen a pregnant woman NOT get offered a seat on the tube.

UdoU · 02/02/2023 10:43

Jazzy21 · 02/02/2023 09:57

Nobody on the Tube gave up their seat for me when I was visibly heavily pregnant.
Very abrupt staff in (some) shops and cafes.
People are in a huge rush walking around - although this doesn’t bother me as I’m naturally a quick walker, I can see how it would bother others.
I’m Northern and people - perfect strangers - will often say good morning in the street, or pass a friendly comment in a lift or what not. I’ve never experienced that in London.

Londoners know to ask for a seat. People will get up.

OneTC · 02/02/2023 10:50

It's not the friendliest city in the world or even the UK. Compared to other places I've been it feels like you have to put a bit more in to get more out. You need to be outgoing enough to initiate contact.

You could stand there looking lost and be ignored all day but if you asked the first person happening by they'll give you all the help you need.

People from less busy parts of countries always think the busy parts are rude. People say Paris is a rude city but my personal experience of it has been great

SisterAgatha · 02/02/2023 10:52

I am born and bred Londoner, pregnant 3 times in the city and no, you don’t always get a seat. Some men will race you to the seats. It’s always the central line and that’s because these people aren’t “Londoners” but young essex commuters coming in to work in the financial district.

When I haven’t been given a seat, I would ask - if I needed one.

benten54 · 02/02/2023 10:53

What most visitors to London don't realise is 'Londoners' commute. They are generally on the tube between 6 and 10 am and then again from 4 till 8 on weekdays.

If you are getting on the tube between Piccadilly Circus and Covent Garden for example on a Thursday at 11am the likelihood is that you are mainly surrounded by fellow tourists.

If they don't give you a seat (for the all of a 4 minute journey) then don't blame us thanks.

SisterAgatha · 02/02/2023 10:54

*You could stand there looking lost and be ignored all day but if you asked the first person happening by they'll give you all the help you need.

People from less busy parts of countries always think the busy parts are rude. People say Paris is a rude city but my personal experience of it has been great*

This is also true. I’d give loads of helpful advice to anyone who asked me, and have done, but I don’t necessarily notice people milling around looking helpless.

Paris too, we had a great experience! Loads of help from locals! One couple went out of their way to help us catch a bus.

blueskylie · 02/02/2023 10:59

When I first started to go to London, people looked at me weird for talking to them. Where I'm from, you don't pretend that the human beings standing/sitting next to you don't exist. If I'm in a queue at the shop, we chat to the people in-front and behind, as well as the cashier. I found it very odd that on the tube people would avoid eye contact and just go about their life pretending the people around them didn't exist. It's possibly not so much rude, as odd.

Ginmonkeyagain · 02/02/2023 11:08

TBH it is a way to make London run smoothly. It is a miracle that hundreds of thousans of people share such a small space daily with so few clashes, this is achived through people adopting lots of small unspoken rules that give people their own space, no matter how small. Some of that will be mental as well as physical space.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 02/02/2023 11:11

Northerner through and through here.

I love London. I love visiting, I love busy-ness. I don’t think Londoners are rude. I think London is just so busy that dithering and fannying about would result in chaos so everyone moves as quickly as they can. I know people like a slower pace of life but honestly you go to some Yorkshire villages where you can move past a car because the owner has stopped to chat to his mate on the street and I just think “move out the fucking way” 🤣🤣 you don’t get that in London (except with Northerners 😂)

Abhannmor · 02/02/2023 11:11

SisterAgatha · 02/02/2023 10:54

*You could stand there looking lost and be ignored all day but if you asked the first person happening by they'll give you all the help you need.

People from less busy parts of countries always think the busy parts are rude. People say Paris is a rude city but my personal experience of it has been great*

This is also true. I’d give loads of helpful advice to anyone who asked me, and have done, but I don’t necessarily notice people milling around looking helpless.

Paris too, we had a great experience! Loads of help from locals! One couple went out of their way to help us catch a bus.

A lovely woman ' noticed me milling around looking helpless' in Victoria. . The queue for the ticket office was a thousand miles long and I had no idea how to work the machines - been back in Ireland since the mid 90s.

' You can just hold your bank card up to the barriers ' she said. Et voila. I was quite reluctant tbh. Imagining my current account being emptied!

You meet some rude people of course but I think NYC takes the biscuit.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 02/02/2023 11:11

*can’t move past a car

JamSandle · 02/02/2023 11:17

Most people in London aren't Londoners - they're commuting in from outside for work and travel.

ShirleyPhallus · 02/02/2023 11:18

blueskylie · 02/02/2023 10:59

When I first started to go to London, people looked at me weird for talking to them. Where I'm from, you don't pretend that the human beings standing/sitting next to you don't exist. If I'm in a queue at the shop, we chat to the people in-front and behind, as well as the cashier. I found it very odd that on the tube people would avoid eye contact and just go about their life pretending the people around them didn't exist. It's possibly not so much rude, as odd.

someone trying to make small talk with me on the tube would be awful. I spent my whole day talking to people, my commute is a little slice of me-time.

doesn’t make anyone rude

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 02/02/2023 11:20

ShirleyPhallus · 02/02/2023 11:18

someone trying to make small talk with me on the tube would be awful. I spent my whole day talking to people, my commute is a little slice of me-time.

doesn’t make anyone rude

Show quote history

I agree and I’m from a sleepy Yorkshire town where everyone talks to each other - which is lovely, in the right circumstances. After a long day at work and a busy commute home, it’s absolutely acceptable to ignore people around you.

benten54 · 02/02/2023 11:24

blueskylie · 02/02/2023 10:59

When I first started to go to London, people looked at me weird for talking to them. Where I'm from, you don't pretend that the human beings standing/sitting next to you don't exist. If I'm in a queue at the shop, we chat to the people in-front and behind, as well as the cashier. I found it very odd that on the tube people would avoid eye contact and just go about their life pretending the people around them didn't exist. It's possibly not so much rude, as odd.

As a Londoner who commuted daily to Canary Wharf it is perfectly polite to allow the people around you to get on with what they are doing and maybe that's our version of politeness. We have to travel nose to shoulder with people everyday and keeping a semblance of personal and mental space in among the 1200 people sharing that tube train, before arriving at work can be extremely important.

Id find it very rude and intrusive if some random tried to strike up a conversation at 7.35am (usually about themselves) when I'm trying to have a calm moment before the craziness of the day happens. I'd probably smile politely and hope they got the message that I wasn't in the mood.

I live in a totally different country now (known for its friendliness) but get another mode of transport now where I even see my really good friends on the morning commute. We smile, wave and then... sit at totally different places so we don't have to have a conversation so early in the morning! If I sit opposite a random person again there is maybe a glance of acknowledgement and then nothing. Perfect.

Journey back home is different I'll admit given said transportation has a bar.Gin

I'm a born a bred northerner and thank fuck we aren't all expected to conform to supposed 'northern friendliness' parameters that seems to amount to loud exclamations of 'hello duck/hinny/love' and the expectation that they are then permitted to pry into your every movement and if you aren't fully committed to giving info they want you are declared 'rude' or 'stuck up'

Fine if you are in a bloody country lane or a rural Spar but FFS the tube carries 5million passengers a day! No one can smile and say hello to the trillion people they pass in the Waterloo Northern line to Jubilee line tunnels at 8am!!

benten54 · 02/02/2023 11:26

Ginmonkeyagain · 02/02/2023 11:08

TBH it is a way to make London run smoothly. It is a miracle that hundreds of thousans of people share such a small space daily with so few clashes, this is achived through people adopting lots of small unspoken rules that give people their own space, no matter how small. Some of that will be mental as well as physical space.

Beautifully put!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 02/02/2023 11:27

benten54 · 02/02/2023 11:24

As a Londoner who commuted daily to Canary Wharf it is perfectly polite to allow the people around you to get on with what they are doing and maybe that's our version of politeness. We have to travel nose to shoulder with people everyday and keeping a semblance of personal and mental space in among the 1200 people sharing that tube train, before arriving at work can be extremely important.

Id find it very rude and intrusive if some random tried to strike up a conversation at 7.35am (usually about themselves) when I'm trying to have a calm moment before the craziness of the day happens. I'd probably smile politely and hope they got the message that I wasn't in the mood.

I live in a totally different country now (known for its friendliness) but get another mode of transport now where I even see my really good friends on the morning commute. We smile, wave and then... sit at totally different places so we don't have to have a conversation so early in the morning! If I sit opposite a random person again there is maybe a glance of acknowledgement and then nothing. Perfect.

Journey back home is different I'll admit given said transportation has a bar.Gin

I'm a born a bred northerner and thank fuck we aren't all expected to conform to supposed 'northern friendliness' parameters that seems to amount to loud exclamations of 'hello duck/hinny/love' and the expectation that they are then permitted to pry into your every movement and if you aren't fully committed to giving info they want you are declared 'rude' or 'stuck up'

Fine if you are in a bloody country lane or a rural Spar but FFS the tube carries 5million passengers a day! No one can smile and say hello to the trillion people they pass in the Waterloo Northern line to Jubilee line tunnels at 8am!!

Show quote history

Great post!

warmeduppizza · 02/02/2023 11:35

I feel a great sense of relief whenever I’m in London. Having to wear a smile and stop to chat and being curtain twitched at wears me out.

phoenixrosehere · 02/02/2023 12:59

Abhannmor · 02/02/2023 11:11

A lovely woman ' noticed me milling around looking helpless' in Victoria. . The queue for the ticket office was a thousand miles long and I had no idea how to work the machines - been back in Ireland since the mid 90s.

' You can just hold your bank card up to the barriers ' she said. Et voila. I was quite reluctant tbh. Imagining my current account being emptied!

You meet some rude people of course but I think NYC takes the biscuit.

Show quote history

You meet some rude people of course but I think NYC takes the biscuit.

I actually found NYC no different than any major city when it comes to rudeness. People were polite to me and when I did ask for help, it was given. I’ve slipped and fallen and had people immediately ask me if I’m ok or if I need any assistance, thanked them for their concern with a smile and we’ve all continued on our way.

SpangoDweller · 02/02/2023 18:35

blueskylie · 02/02/2023 10:59

When I first started to go to London, people looked at me weird for talking to them. Where I'm from, you don't pretend that the human beings standing/sitting next to you don't exist. If I'm in a queue at the shop, we chat to the people in-front and behind, as well as the cashier. I found it very odd that on the tube people would avoid eye contact and just go about their life pretending the people around them didn't exist. It's possibly not so much rude, as odd.

Oh good god, no. In the village shop, or a quiet pub? Fine, if you must. On the tube or bus? Fuck that.

Born and bred northerner here, and I treat cities with the respect they deserve.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page