Why do people think Londoners are rude?

[beejeez]

I'm obviously biased as I'm originally from London, but why do people think Londoners are rude?

I was there a few days ago and it was so great to be back. I find true Londoners so friendly (OK, maybe not when commuting in and out of work, but definitely the rest of the time).

If you talk to them then they are really friendly back!

London is a city of 9 million people from all over the world. This image of "Stone-Faced Man in London Chip Shop" has actually got me laughing in a cafe though. I'm probably now frightening the London public.

Because they are.

And all those positive small exchanges that you have listed above happen in London everyday in pubs, supermarkets, down the park, gym etc. The only times I have seen someone get irritated 'huff/eyeroll' when trying to get past is when they have exhausted all the 'excuse me's/do you mind' and the person in the way is still away with the fairies looking at their phone or immersed with head phones and oblivious they are causing an obstruction. I did see a shove on a tourist once at Earls Court because he was wearing two huge rucksacks on his front and back and was trying to force his way onto a busy tube and the doors could not close because of him blocking them. He then tried to shove the already crammed passengers further into the carriage to make room causing all sorts of discomfort before he was unceremoniously dumped back onto the platform when half a dozen passengers collectively shoved him back.

It sounds like you may simply not like the “friendliness” of cities. I’ve been to Paris and didn’t find them rude at all despite the stereotype. I’ve gone several times alone and with family who said the same. People helped me with my stroller every time I was going up the stairs when using the Metro. I entered shops with a smile and “Bonjour” and was greeted the same way I did do my research beforehand because it is a foreign country so I wouldn’t do anything that would be seen in an impolite manner and followed the basic rules of most cities.

I think it is more down to people expecting the same attitudes of their hometown to be similar to everywhere and ignoring that it is a different pace and different expectations. You know when you go to a movie theatre that certain behaviours are expected, the same goes for cities where there are millions of people going about their day compared to an area with much lesser people.

The only times I have seen someone get irritated 'huff/eyeroll' when trying to get past is when they have exhausted all the 'excuse me's/do you mind' and the person in the way is still away with the fairies looking at their phone or immersed with head phones and oblivious they are causing an obstruction.

This! It comes again to a major lack of self-awareness and no paying attention or noticing one’s surroundings. It takes seconds to look around and make sure you are not standing in a doorway, in the middle of a path, reading the signs around that tell you which way to look, where to stand and not/stand, not blocking people getting off public transport, etc.

It sounds like you may simply not like the “friendliness” of cities.

There's definitely a different etiquette to big city life - a different type of politeness. I don't see it as London-specific at all. Perhaps there are cities where people stroll slowly along the pavements or amble in a leisurely fashion through mass transit stations at rush hour, whilst exchanging warm glances, jolly smiles and cheerful on-dits with everyone they pass. But having lived in multiple large cities and visited many more, I haven't encountered any of that sort yet.

He then tried to shove the already crammed passengers further into the carriage to make room causing all sorts of discomfort before he was unceremoniously dumped back onto the platform when half a dozen passengers collectively shoved him back

Do not mess with London commuters on an already packed tube. I've seen cyclists on packed District line trains have their arses handed to them as well - I mean, cramming on for one stop? just ride the thing!

There is almost a Borg like collectiviness during rush hour!

"Resistance is futile..."

Honestly it's not. You seem to be implying that people who find some cities a little rude generally are perhaps slightly country bumpkinesque or just not quite use to the metropolitan ways. That's not the case. I am well travelled and grew up in a capital city in Europe. Of course I know there are friendly people in London, of course I know not everyone is rude. But there is somewhat of a cultural way of being that can come across that way. It's common enough that it's something people pick up on. Londoners on this thread have themselves said they don't owe anyone a smile. I go to London all the time, and obviously go into shops. Not always, but many times the person serving doesn't exchange any words with me except to tell me how much I owe. Despite my hellos, thank yous etc. This isn't everyone but it's usual enough that it's clearly a "thing". It's most common in train station shops I find, the ones that are busiest I would assume.

I am not offended by this btw. In London or in Paris. Well, sometimes people are full on rude, but that's the same anywhere. It doesn't mean I find them horrible or unpleasant places. But it doesn't mean that you can't notice that there's a certain manner that is prevalent or accepted. As I said in my previous post, maybe it's not even rudeness as such, but rather a business or aburptness that can feel rude at times.

Perhaps there are cities where people stroll slowly along the pavements or amble in a leisurely fashion through mass transit stations at rush hour, whilst exchanging warm glances, jolly smiles and cheerful on-dits with everyone they pass. But having lived in multiple large cities and visited many more, I haven't encountered any of that sort yet

I once pointed out on a US site where people were complaining that 'no-one talks on the tube' that London is firstly, big. That means that that person has probably got up at oh gawd o'clock to commute for an hour or more or at the other end of the day, has done a full day's work, has a long commute to do and isn't really in the mood for idle chit chat along the lines of 'Why is Leicester Square pronounced Lester?' Second, it's crowded. In rush hour it's very crowded, and societies that are very heavily populated also evolve defence mechanisms to preserve personal space, like not making eye contact and not starting spontaneous conversations. I mean, much as I love the place, London has its fair share of people you make a swerve to avoid getting involved with and it gets to be a habit.

I lived in London for quite a few years. I didn't find Londoners actively rude, but I certainly found people in London less friendly in general than people in other places I've lived, especially (but not exclusively) non-city locations.

So true. We keep the tubes moving

Sounds nasty, but in my experience, the "nasty Londoner" trope is only really used by people who are bitter about not being able to afford to move here.

I hope these small town folk really are practicing what they preach, smiling at everyone as they skip down the grassy high street, looking for someone to talk to at the bus stop.

😂 I hope you, a Londoner, aren't trying persuade people Londoners aren't rude by this post. Because it's having quite the opposite effect!

Honestly, if the bad reputation scares British tourists out of our tube stations, I'm all for it!

Only read the opening post, but I also think Londoners are really friendly. I vividly recall struggling with my daughter’s irritatingly clunky pushchair on the underground and having so many people offering to help. People were exceptionally helpful.

Mind I think people all over the UK are generally a pretty friendly bunch. As are people abroad!

It's a shame that so many Londoners are so scathing about tourists on this thread. They do play a pretty signifcant part in the London economy, and pay good money to dither with their maps, or take their bags on the tube.

Not wholly out of the tube stations. Just from standing on the left on escalators and from stopping at the tops of escalators to consult their phones.

I think tourism is 5% of London economy, but agree no need to be horrible!

You seem to be implying that people who find some cities a little rude generally are perhaps slightly country bumpkinesque or just not quite use to the metropolitan ways.

That is not what I’m implying nor is there any mention of bumpkin in my post or previous suggestion unless you think saying areas that aren’t highly populated automatically means bumpkin. There are many areas outside of cities where you wouldn’t have people wanting to smile or chit chat nor would such behaviour be expected.

Londoners on this thread have themselves said they don't owe anyone a smile.

Pretty sure, many people say that and are not Londoners or city-dwellers.

According to the city of London website it's $36bn a year. Of course that might "just" be 5%, but certainly not an amount to be scoffed at I'd say (and as you say, no need to be mean to visitors).

Or when there are signs literally posted within eyesight telling people not to do those things, staff announcing it as well as automated messages.

😀 You win the thread.

Nobody is scathing about a tourist taking just a bag on the tube or dithering with map. They are criticising the complete lack of awareness of trying to study said map in the middle of a busy thoroughfare, at the top of escalator or straight after the ticket barriers when there are quite literally hundreds of people trying to get past. It takes a very small delay in the flow of people during rush hour to cause a massive queue. In fairness, the vast majority of tourists 'get this' and wait to find a quiet spot out of the way so they can get their bearings or ask for help. As for the bags most tourists are switched on enough to sit bags on their laps or at least stowe them out of the way. However, I have seen tourists on the tube from Heathrow park several large cases by the sliding doors on the Piccadilly line and not move an inch when successive commuters at each station stop are unable to get on the train due to their bags obstructing access. Losing patience in such circumstances is not a London thing, residents in any major city would roll their eyes at the complete lack of awareness on show. I imagine I would be told fairly rapidly where to go if I stood in the main entrance of the Louvre with a map holding up the show or stood motionless at entrance of Grand Central Station taking photos during rush hour.

SocksAndTheCity · Today 12:06

But being 'courteous and well mannered' or 'polite' isn't the same as being 'friendly'? Being courteous to me means going about my business without getting in other people's way or otherwise disturbing them while they go about theirs.

I'm always polite unless there's a very good reason for me not to be and I'm helpful if asked, but I don't go around beaming at strangers and invading their space by talking at them for no reason, and I would consider doing so to be rude, whether it's friendly or otherwise.

This in a nutshell. It's not rude to not smile at everyone on the tube. You'd look like an extra froma horror film. And invading people's space / getting in the way IS rude in my opinion. Would you start a conversation with someone in a lift? Or in the person in the next toilet cubicle? That is effectively the same thing. You have someone trapped in a confined space and you're expecting them to speak to you when they can't get away. I would always help someone who.looked lost / hurt / in trouble or even drunk to the point of vulnerability if I could do so without putting myself at risk. But chat to.someone in a small space when I need to get to get to work? No.