Why do people think Londoners are rude?

[beejeez]

I'm obviously biased as I'm originally from London, but why do people think Londoners are rude?

I was there a few days ago and it was so great to be back. I find true Londoners so friendly (OK, maybe not when commuting in and out of work, but definitely the rest of the time).

If you talk to them then they are really friendly back!

So if you were walking down Oxford Street passing thousands of other shoppers/tourists you would be making eye contact and smiling with everyone passing you in the opposite direction?

I live in zone 2, and there are loads around me!

But I have never associated chip shop staff with friendliness
The town I grew up in (Somerset) had an brilliant chip shop but was legendary as much for the absolute grump who ran it as for the chips

Why don’t you make an effort yourself? Why is the onus on others.

Be the change you want to see.

I’ve had countless positive interactions on the tube, maybe it’s you?

Live in Wales. Folks retire here or transfer here for work. Takes them a while to slow down so they appear very rude. Some remain rude the ones that adapt are happier.

100% agree. If that means we don't get inundated with strangers saying hello and smiling indiscriminately at us on the tube, so be it.

I know! I find in London that people DO smile – and even laugh! – when for example you both reach for the same item in a shop, or do the 'you first' dance in a doorway, or have in some other way made initial contact. And in my local parks people smile/nod/pass a few words when I walk past them, especially if their dog has come up to look at me/sniff at me or something.
It would be very creepy if everyone went round grinning at each other.

You actually think this is what people who say Londoners are rude expect? I know it may be difficult imagine, but there is somewhere in between that and what people are talking about.

Err, I do? What an odd (and defensive?) response....

But have zero examples?

How is telling you to be the change you want to see and taking about my positive interactions ‘defensive’?

You’ve a real chip on your shoulder about London.

What do you mean I have zero examples? Of my own behaviour to be friendly? Would you like me to detail out everything I do in my interactions with others on a daily basis not to be rude? That would be a really quite odd thing to start listing.

I don't have a chip on my shoulder about London in the slightest. I have in most of my posts explained that London is a great city and that I am by no means suggesting individuals are rude. I do still think there is a culture of rudeness, or perhaps it is abruptness that comes across as rude. Many people have experienced this. But I also gave my view on why this perahps might be the perception of London, and acknowledged that many other cities will be the same.

Just chat. I behave the same as at home. People are busier there, some respond some don't. It's not a personal slight

this is next level rush hour pushing 😁

I am a Londoner but I am originally Spain and I love the fact that nobody here comments on anybody's accent and if they do ask where you are from, it's not some opening gambit for a "friendly" diatribe such as I'm afraid to say I've experienced elsewhere in the U.K. - eg , "Oh me and Bob love Spain we do, we go to Marbella - stayed in the same hotel since 1998 and it's very clean... we do like the breakfast and the wine and the paella... but once we had dodgy prawns... but anyway, "the Spanish" were lovely in that hospital weren't they Bob, but we always go in May now don't we Bob and we love how "the Spanish" all speak such good English - remember that lovely Spanish girl in that cafe Bob.,,"

Gawd that's funny but hard work. At least they know where Spain is. Wales not so much 😅

People who think this tend to be judging the worst of Londoners in the environments that bring out the worst in people.
I agree, however…

People from outside the city tend to frequent the busiest and most stressful spots, get in people's way and bring out the worst in them. When you interact with people appropriately…
it’s this attitude I think that gets people’s back up. I’ve had to deal with prime commuting hours in a few different cities across the U.K. and have never felt this hostility from anywhere other than London. People unfamiliar with a city and taking up space have just as just right to be there as the residents and seeing them as an inconvenience to your daily life is the reason people think Londoners are rude. We are not an inconvenience or being inappropriate by taking up the same space as someone else, smiling on the tube or taking longer than a few seconds to navigate the tube barriers.

Who has asked you for a list of your daily interactions? That would be dull.

You are telling Londoners if you do ‘x’ behaviours then ‘you have nothing to worry about’. Yet you have not given a single example of you doing these things.

Yes it would be dull. And weird.

I would think it goes without saying that I do those things. Without me having to come up with specific examples of when/ how I do them.

A common critique on this thread is varieties of 'nobody smiles at each other' and I am curious as to what people are expecting precisely? I don't generally see much evidence in other large towns and cities in the UK of a marked change in this kind of behaviour compared to London? Me walking down the main streets of Bristol or Leeds people are going about their business in much the same way as they do in London insofar not really making eye contact, not getting each others way and being mindful of others insofar as holding open doors, helping those with buggies etc and generally not being a twat.

In smaller towns and villages there is a greater chance of bumping into someone you know and stopping for a chat but that is rare in central London.

The capital is huge and most people just work in the centre and live in suburbs and beyond. Outside the centre of London is basically a collection of 'villages' with local shops, pubs and restaurants where social connections are forged, you are recognised in the shops and you have friendly exchanges.

This is a reflection of people's view if London. There must be thousands of chip shops in London - maybe not on Oxford Street or next to the Houses of Parliament, but the rest of London where most Londoners live is full of chippies. Friendly places where people always have a chat in the queue and you are served with a smile.
London is more than a very small area in the middle. And to be faire, a large number of people you meet there are not Londoners.

What do you mean by this?

I wouldn't expct someone walking down the street to randomly smile at me. But let's say we are stodd across from each other and made eye random contact, maybe then? Or if we both went to press the stop button on the bus, or went to go through the door at the same time, or something like that? Just, you know, a smile to acknowledge the other person and show some goodwill, rather than, at best, pretending the person isn't there or showing absolute distain with a huge huff or eyeroll. Or maybe if I was unitentionally in someone's way (which of course happens in busy places), a smile and an "excuse me/ I'm just going to squeeze through/ etc" instead of the aforementioned huff/ eyeroll and an irretated shove past.

There's four chip shops in my immediate neighbourhood alone.

Everywhere I've lived in London (a lot of places!) there's been at least two chip shops in very short walking distance!

I’ve never felt people are really rude in London, just very impatient. I was stood with my daughter, in a train station. We had been there 10 minutes or so and hadn’t moved. All of a sudden a woman literally wiped my daughter out as she wasn’t looking where she was going in such a rush. The woman dared to blame my daughter, even though she had been stood there for a while before the woman even appeared, and the stupid bint didn’t even help my daughter up. The unfortunate woman met a very different side of me that doesn’t often pop up and she ended up scurrying away red faced and embarrassed!

that could happen anywhere though to be fair although I haven’t experienced the crazy rush of London in other places. It’s hard to get around if you’re not sure where you are going as you’re constantly getting bashed about in the hustle and bustle. It’s also the disdain shown towards tourists who don’t know where they’re going.

I think people like to romanticise their non-London lives. Compared to where I used to live (Norfolk) London is so charming and community-oriented. It's easy to natter to strangers and not difficult to join new groups of friends. Back where I'm from, folk are noticeably more hostile and intolerant (obvs not everyone but in general!) which is a big shock when I visit .

What I think happens is that visitors to London don't make enough time/effort to navigate the little everyday norms (be speedy on the pavements or make space if you're not, avoid bringing a huge pile of family and luggage onto rush hour transit, leave people in peace when it's busy and crowded to preserve sanity, etc.). They the. Get met with annoyance, which they interpret as "nasty scary London".