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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand in my notice tomorrow with no other job lined up?

96 replies

resigningg · 02/01/2023 13:00

I've been at my job a year and a half and have tried to push through it, but it's not a good fit. I ended up being signed off for 2 months last year because my mental health was so badly affected, since then I've started antidepressants and had counselling. My mental health is a lot better in general, but I still hate the job. It constantly takes me out of my comfort zone and just isn't the right fit. I've spoken to my line manager and had a few temporary adjustments made to the role to support me, but they are ending now. The job isn't what I expected when I applied, and I've tried to get used to it but I just can't.

I have savings, and my family are supportive of my decision and are the ones encouraging me to hand in my notice as they see the impact it has had on me.

I have a few ideas for next steps, I've seen a few jobs to apply for which are similar to my previous role which I enjoyed, although I'm technically overqualified and they would involve taking a pay cut. I've also been considering applying to study nursing and going down that route.

I just feel like there must be something better out there more suited for me, at the moment my view of life/the world is very bleak.

OP posts:
Bumblebee412 · 02/01/2023 13:02

YANBU

Leave, get out, go

You're in a position where you can do this so jump, it will be the best thing you ever do

LlynTegid · 02/01/2023 13:02

The question for me would be how long your savings will last. I'd be reluctant if I could not manage for at least six months without paid employment.

BasiliskStare · 02/01/2023 13:04

On the one hand I would say it is always easier to get a job if you have one already . On the other hand your mental wellbeing is paramount. If you know you are definitely going to leave would that take some stress out of the day to day & buy yourself a little time to plan for or apply for what next rather than resigning without anything to go to.

I wish you well @resigningg

sparks99 · 02/01/2023 13:05

Do it. Stay motivated to find something more suited or start re-training asap. As long as you have the motivation and determination, you will always succeed.

cushioncovers · 02/01/2023 13:06

Resign but be active in looking for something new. Your mental health is more important.

SkylightSkylight · 02/01/2023 13:06

You do what's best for you!

In a job I hated, it was enough for me to just start looking/applying for a new job, knowing I was getting out kept me sane! Until I found a new job. I didn't want to 'waste' my savings.

PurpleButterflyWings · 02/01/2023 13:06

No way would I do that. Only if you have fuck-all responsibilities should you be doing that. Like no kids, no bills, no rent, no debts, NOTHING. Otherwise, it's remarkable irresponsible and immature.

PurpleButterflyWings · 02/01/2023 13:07

*remarkably irresponsible

MissBPotter · 02/01/2023 13:07

For me the stress of relying on my savings to pay my bills and not knowing if I could get a new job would outweigh the stress of the current
job. I would stay, apply for as many jobs as possible
and do the bare minimum and then leave asap.

SkylightSkylight · 02/01/2023 13:09

Oh & it's true shat they say, it's easier to get a job when you have a job.

I don't know if nursing would be a good move for you. It's not the best environment at the moment, but who knows by the time you qualify?! Though I can't see it getting much better for a long time, if ever.

NotSorry · 02/01/2023 13:09

I did it - me and my DH worked out, moneywise, I had 2 years to retrain and/or find something else.

Within a year I was in a completely different job/industry having retrained.

so glad I got out, I ended up in counselling because of my former boss, that's when I knew enough was enough

OnlyFannys · 02/01/2023 13:11

If I were you I would just get cracking applying for new roles, you could be offered something in a matter of weeks.

Divebar2021 · 02/01/2023 13:11

When you say “your family “ do you mean your DP or your wider family? From my viewpoint I would need a person ready and willing to take over 100% of the bills with no resentment or difficulty. If I would be paying bills on my savings then it would be hard no unless you had A LOT of money stashed away

minticecreamisjustok · 02/01/2023 13:12

I would stay and start applying for other jobs first, your savings can go to better use and you won't need to explain to the next employer why you had a break.

When you say family support you giving in your notice, will the financially support you too?

user1262085 · 02/01/2023 13:15

If you decide to leave, you may find it easier to put up with the job. You'll have mentally disengaged from it and there will be light at the end of the tunnel as you'll know you'll be moving on. That's my experience.

However, unless you've got in-demand skills, you might find it hard to get work in the current economic climate. That in turn may become a different source of stress if you end up out of work for longer than you wanted and funds run low.

justasking111 · 02/01/2023 13:17

@resigningg need more information

How old are you
Are you living at home
Is this your first job
Do you have a partner for support

Original poster
resigningg · 02/01/2023 13:18

I'm in my early 20s and I'm still living at home. I pay rent to my parents and I have enough savings for rent and my bills for 6 months. They have said they will financially support me if needed. My notice period is 2 months, so in total with 2 months of working plus 6 months of savings I have 8 months.

OP posts:
whattodo1975 · 02/01/2023 13:18

Depends on your circumstance.
Living at home with parents, go for it.
3 kids and a mortgage to pay for, maybe look to have something a bit solid before leaving.

Original poster
resigningg · 02/01/2023 13:19

I think part of my reasoning is my notice period is 2 months, which is making me feel trapped as every day that goes by is another 2 months I'll still be there

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 02/01/2023 13:21

I think as long as you can afford to, it would be a good idea to take a break and look for something else. It’s brilliant that your family want to support you in this and I would let them for the sake of your mental health. I bet handing in your notice would be a big relief.

VladmirsPoutine · 02/01/2023 13:21

Do it. Your circumstances allow for it.

BatshitBanshee · 02/01/2023 13:22

Leave, nothing is worth this and life is too short. Have you any leave saved you can use in your notice period? That might make it feel less daunting.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 02/01/2023 13:22

Well they can't make you work your notice, can they?
Yep, I think you are right to move.

PacificallyRequested · 02/01/2023 13:23

In your situation, I would absolutely quit.
I spent way too long in jobs I hated in my early 20s, and with the perspective I have now I would have left much sooner. Take a little bit of time out and you will find something that's a much better fit for you. Good luck.

Twiglets1 · 02/01/2023 13:23

You should work your notice, leave with your head high and then you can ask for a reference & no bad feeling.