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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hand in my notice tomorrow with no other job lined up?

96 replies

resigningg · 02/01/2023 13:00

I've been at my job a year and a half and have tried to push through it, but it's not a good fit. I ended up being signed off for 2 months last year because my mental health was so badly affected, since then I've started antidepressants and had counselling. My mental health is a lot better in general, but I still hate the job. It constantly takes me out of my comfort zone and just isn't the right fit. I've spoken to my line manager and had a few temporary adjustments made to the role to support me, but they are ending now. The job isn't what I expected when I applied, and I've tried to get used to it but I just can't.

I have savings, and my family are supportive of my decision and are the ones encouraging me to hand in my notice as they see the impact it has had on me.

I have a few ideas for next steps, I've seen a few jobs to apply for which are similar to my previous role which I enjoyed, although I'm technically overqualified and they would involve taking a pay cut. I've also been considering applying to study nursing and going down that route.

I just feel like there must be something better out there more suited for me, at the moment my view of life/the world is very bleak.

OP posts:
ShopoholicIn · 02/01/2023 13:24

Hi OP,
Leave the job if it is causing so much stress, especially since your family is supportive of your decision. But out of curiosity did u try and look for a job in the last 1.5 years after you realised its not working out for you? Just asking if you know how easy or difficult will it be for you to get another one if you left. Aap the best with whatever you decide.

lilichi · 02/01/2023 13:24

In your circumstances, go for it. Wishing you all the best Flowers

FlamingJingleBells · 02/01/2023 13:26

www.charityjob.co.uk/

There are lots of remote and hybrid jobs advertised on here.

BIWI · 02/01/2023 13:30

Before you resign (which I think you should, given your work and also your domestic circumstances), have you checked out what possible job opportunities might be open to you? If you're working in something like hospitality there should be plenty of jobs, but if it's more niche it might be more problematic. It would be a very good idea to determine how easy it's going to be to get another job. I know 8 months sounds a long time, but it can pass very quickly!

Willmafrockfit · 02/01/2023 13:30

i would hand in my notice and search for a job
it is often easier to find a job when you have a job
it looks better on an application as well

TimBoothseyes · 02/01/2023 13:32

Go for it. No job is worth sacrificing your MH for. Until you get a permanent job, maybe look at agency work. I did exactly what you are thinking of doing. I left with no job, signed on with an agency, took whichever job they offered knowing that I wasn't tied to anything. They sent me to a job for "6 weeks" in November 2021....I'm still there, now with a permanent contract. I love my job, it was something I would never had considered doing before. Good luck OP.

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/01/2023 13:35

Another option would be to go part-time and use the freed up time for job applications and interviews.

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/01/2023 13:38

Join a temping agency. I've used them when I've needed an income but not sure which direction to take. Its a bit like "try before you buy ".

Teateaandmoretea · 02/01/2023 13:39

Yanbu. I did the same a few years ago and never regretted it.

FloozingThePlot · 02/01/2023 13:39

Sounds like you've already made your decision, OP. Good luck!

Abitofalark · 02/01/2023 13:40

It's about knowing yourself and having a plan. It's not something I would do without having a job to go to but then I am not you and I don't know your circumstances, financially and practically - how would you live or how would leaving it without anything in its place affect your mood and motivation, your feeling about yourself and your life?

What strikes me as missing is that you haven't actually done anything yet to put a plan in place. Why not take some positive action, such as applying for jobs or nurse training or something? Leaving your job and doing nothing else seems to me like putting the cart before the horse - but I am not in your shoes. Your mental health generally is better, which is good and well done for that, so now you can be up and doing. That will help you more and while you are doing that, your present job should become less of a burden mentally because you have a goal to focus on, to actively work towards, something to look forward to, which is a key thing for wellbeing. You could adopt an attitude that you can take or leave the present job, use it as a stop-gap, see it as a means of serving you, providing income while you organise an alternative that better serves your needs but it is up to you whether that's viable or not. You are in the driving seat and leaving the job should not become a substitute for doing something positive to take control of your life and your future.

maccaroni · 02/01/2023 13:42

Just do it, life is too short, you are young and can afford it. Be happy!

Seaweasel · 02/01/2023 13:43

Hand in your notice, say nice things but it's just time to move on / try something new, work notice and get a good reference. I'm old and have never regretted leaving a job if it's disproportionately negatively affecting my life. You have 2 months to find something new before it starts to impact you financially. As an aside, I might think twice about the nursing though. There are reasons recruitment and retention are appalling. Ditto teaching and social work. Good luck - I am excited for you!

Eilan50 · 02/01/2023 13:45

I'd say go for it OP. Nothing is more important than your health, physical or mental.
But don't look at coasting for the next few months just because you've got the savings to do it. There's loads of jobs out there at the moment, there's a real shortage of workers in loads of industries.

So hand in your notice this week and you'll instantly feel much better knowing an end is in sight. But please remember that being in employment is good for our mental health so get on with applying for other jobs, even if it's only temporary jobs it will allow you to try out roles.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/01/2023 13:46

TimBoothseyes · 02/01/2023 13:32

Go for it. No job is worth sacrificing your MH for. Until you get a permanent job, maybe look at agency work. I did exactly what you are thinking of doing. I left with no job, signed on with an agency, took whichever job they offered knowing that I wasn't tied to anything. They sent me to a job for "6 weeks" in November 2021....I'm still there, now with a permanent contract. I love my job, it was something I would never had considered doing before. Good luck OP.

This. I did agency work for years, and one assignment ended up being 3 years. Granted you're on a week's notice, but that works both ways if you don't like the place or the people.

Do it. As TimBoothseyes says, nothing is more important than your MH; and if your family will support you, that takes away the stress of jumping into the first job that comes along because you need the money. Ignore the pp calling you immature - nothing's more mature than deciding what your needs are and walking away if after due consideration you think they aren't being met (and won't be).

ThinWomansBrain · 02/01/2023 13:47

I'm not so sure about the "easier to get a new job if you have one" school of thought - if your current job is bringing you down to such an extent, it would surely impact on your ability to present yourself positively at an interview?

Get out - maybe do some temp or agency work to disengage from current role?
If you are depressed, if you stop work, don't fall in to a trough of doing nothing.

Good luck, hope you find something that suits you better.

MomFromSE · 02/01/2023 13:49

If you don't have any one reliant on you financially and you have a good fall back plan if you can't find something, then yes. For many, the stress of not having a pay check coming in might outweigh staying in the role until you find something. This is very personal though as it depends on how stressful your job is, and what your fall back position is in a worst case scenario-- could you move back in with parents etc.

Good luck making your decision but we are going into a recession so factor that in while considering how long it might take you to find a new position.

TonTonMacoute · 02/01/2023 13:51

If you hand in your notice you will still have two months to find a new job.

BTW, if you are struggling with MH issues I would think very long and hard about going into nursing. I cannot think of a more stressful career path atm, unless you are utterly sure it's the right thing for you.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 02/01/2023 13:58

2 months is a decent time to get looking while still in work.
Around me it seems there are a lot of different jobs available right now. So perhaps have a quick look around, see how things are near to you, give notice if it looks hopeful and then release a lot of the stress knowing you’re off.

I’m working on a similar exit plan, as I have to give 12 weeks notice. Many employers don’t want to have to wait that long so if you’re sure you want to leave, get it done! Good luck!

KatherineJaneway · 02/01/2023 14:00

What line of work are you in? Could you get a temp job easily?

Moveoverdarlin · 02/01/2023 14:02

Do it, and with any luck they won’t make you work the two weeks notice. You’ll feel so much better.

crosstalk · 02/01/2023 14:06

You will need to work out your notice so you have two months to consider your options. You haven't said what particularly affects your MH, but you need to consider whether nursing with all its pressures would affect you.

DuchessOfDisco · 02/01/2023 14:07

I did it twice last year, and I’m a middle aged mother of 4 with a house and commitments. I won’t lie, it hasn’t been plain sailing, there have been some very stressful moments, but zero regrets, and I start a new job this week
life is too short to be miserable when you can change it, just believe in your worth but also be prepared to be open minded about opportunities around you

OldFan · 02/01/2023 14:11

YANBU @resigningg , especially as you have savings to tide you over a bit. Try not to end up bludging off your family but if you think your savings will see you through until you get another job, go for it.

dubyalass · 02/01/2023 14:23

In your circumstances (and tbh in most circumstances) I would absolutely go for it. Two months gives you a lot of time to find something else.

A wise poster on here, when I asked a similar question, said “ships in harbour are safe, but it’s not what they were built for”, and it’s something that has stuck with me. Ignore those saying it’s irresponsible, it’s nothing of the sort. Any one of us could find ourselves out of a job and at any point. Life is too short to stay in a job that’s severely impacting your mental health, and you have my empathy because I’m in a similar situation, although mine at least has an end date in sight, and there are good things happening this year that I want to stay for. I say go for it, and I wish you well.