Speaking another language

[Vevevoom]

I have a pet peeve that really riles me. I speak a second language, other than English and work in an extremely diverse environment so one expects to hear people speaking many different languages. Both Your work circle and friendship circles will speak different languages.
However, I have a friend, who whenever she comes to visit me or we meet, she tends to speak to her daughter in another language. Take note, her daughter speaks English fluently. Common language for them and for us (my daughter and myself)is English.

last night, after feeling quite annoyed for the umpteenth time sitting in their company, I had to listen to them having their own conversation, I commented that I don’t speak the language and don’t understand. She proceeds to say that’s ok. I just thought how rude of her. If I’m amongst others who don’t understand my second language, then I will revert back to English very quickly and apologize.

I think my friend is just being very rude, because people speak another language in your presence if they don’t want you to understand or they’re trying to hide something.

AIBU for feeling annoyed or should I’m just brush it off?

NRTWT but how old is the kid? If they're under 10 then the parent should speak "their" language to her almost all the time for fluency and relational reasons as PP has said. That's commonly known.

However it doesn't stop you raising it with curiosity as a discussion topic with your friend - always surprises me how little "friends" able to communicate with each other.

I know, but some people get annoyed not understanding every single thing that goes on around them. So was genuinely wondering — prolonged conversations, or many little asides here and there? I think growing up in multilingual countries, you sort of get used to hearing many snatches of things you don't understand — everyone will eventually default back to the common language for general benefit. Practically speaking, daily life has to be lived, authentic interactions have to take place, and everyone rubs along nicely together (though I recognise they're now in the UK and should default to UK culture of only common language).

Whatever the case though, I agree that friend's reply "it's ok" was insensitive and dismissive.

They probably use OPOL (One Parent, One Language) - the parent with the minority language speaks their language with the DC wherever they are, otherwise they don't get enough exposure to it as you'd always be making exceptions if you worried about other people not understanding. It's a standard approach, don't take it personally.

I think they should speak English to you when you have invited them over. They are socialising with you, and you cooked for them?

I think in those circumstances a quick aside in their own language is fine, like could you fetch something from the kitchen, but anything more substantial is off.