What do you think? Should my dad get a dog?

[DogDadAfternoon]

Not really an AIBU - more of a What Do You Think?

My dad is 83 and very recently widowed. He’s started talking about getting a dog for company and exercise. My brother is very enthusiastic about the idea, but I’m not so sure.
On the one hand, I know my dad misses their old dog, who died a few years ago. And I completely understand that the house suddenly feels very big and empty without my mum. He’s currently fit and well (although having a hip replacement next month).
On the other hand, he’s 83. I worry that he might at some point not be able to cope with looking after a dog, or that the dog might outlive him, or that he might need to move somewhere where he couldn’t have a dog.
What do you reckon?
YABU - don’t be silly, of course he should get a dog.
YANBU - probably not the best idea.

Small dog from probably overseas rescue who needs lots of cuddles and a wee walk round the block a couple of times a day. I say overseas rescue as British ones don't seem to want to remove to anyone who is at home all day, under 50 and has no children in the house ever!

No it's not a good idea IMO

Greyhound rescue?

An older dog from a rescue?

Firstly he needs to get the surgery and recover. Then he needs to think about what sort of dog would be suitable. An older rescue would be better.
Cinnamon Trust can help with walking if he needs it.

It would be insane to get a dog before his surgery- which unless it’s private might happen much later than you thought.

After his recovery maybe a small dog in the 5-7 age bracket could be nice but only on he understanding that someone is willing to help or take the dog on if your Dad’s health declines. IME there is a huge difference between early and late 80s.

What does dad think is the important bit

only if you or your brother has a plan on how to take care of the dog when your dad is sick or worse but die, then having a dog at 83 isn’t good idea imo.
old rescue dog maybe a good option but you don’t know what you get either. And old god may need more attention than say a good puppy.
On a side note: if you decide to have one, we have a cardigan corgi and imo it’s a perfect dog for an elderly. Intellegient, lots of hair but only need minimal exercise and isn’t needy at all.

Just to clarify - he wouldn’t get a dog until after his surgery, and only if he made a good recovery.
I did suggest a greyhound rescue but he’s not keen on greyhounds - I think they make him feel fat!
And no one in the family would be in a position to look after a dog if he couldn’t.

What about a Foster dog for a few months, an older one. Then it can be rehomed or if its working out he could rehome it. It might not be for him but he would be giving an older Foster dog a chance. Definitely would not get a young dog or overseas rescue.

Could be a good idea if you pick carefully and ensure they are matched in terms of activity levels, temperament etc. Probably an adult rescue / re-home.

Charities do "home for life" schemes to ensure the animal is cared for if it outlives him too.

At the end of the day you have one life, if this makes him happy and he can care for it then why not.

As long as you point out to your brother that HE will inherit the dog at some point...
Remind your dad he's on his own. Taxis to the vet, you're not a "walkies" service - all things dog, ask your Brother.

I don't think it's a terrible idea....it would provide him with company and a reason reason to get up and out each day. Like others have suggested though, an older dog without too much need for exercise might fit the bill.

Or what about Borrow My Doggy? It's a website for dog owners and those who like dogs but don't want the responsibility of one full time, where the non dog owners walk the dog say a couple of times a week.

Getting a smaller, older dog from a rescue would be ideal.

I sometimes see dogs from my local rescue with ads like "12yo bichon frise Betty came to us after her owner died. She's looking for a quiet home with lots of company and a lap to nap on".

They also have a palliative foster scheme - often older dogs with known medical problems where the rescue pays for all the vet care but they just want to see the dog in a home environment, not languishing in kennels because people are put off by the vet bills.

It would be utterly irresponsible to get a puppy, but there are dogs out there who need a very quiet home like your dad can offer.

Why do you get the final say?

An older rescue dog might be ideal. One of my elderly widowed neighbours has had a couple of them, and the joy they bring him is indescribable.

It's the RSPCA who do a Home for Life scheme and it's very much about getting people to leave money to them in their will. Their suggested working for the will literally starts with "I give Fido the dog and X% of my estate to the RSPCA".

Normal rehoming policies apply to the animals left to them under that scheme so you could leave your entire estate to the RSPCA and find they put down your dog for being a bit snappy the week they get him.

In the event the OPs dad got a dog from a rescue, he'd have to sign something that says if he can't keep the dog it needs to go back to the same rescue; you can't get a dog from the local rescue and give it to the RSPCA.

Here we go, the usual Mumsnet suggestion to get a rescue! As a family we've had rescues, some work out well but most come with behavioural problems. I really don't think an older person is suitable for a rescue dog.

I fully understand him wanting a dog and it would be good for him but you have to consider the dog and what would happen to it. Not such a good idea really.

Yes you're right, it's the RSPCA one I was thinking of and yes I know it has strings attached but it is piece of mind.

Also, just on a point of fact, regardless of what you sign from a local rescue, once the animal is in your possession you can do what you like regarding securing it's future. Not to say that the best option isn't returning to the original rescue of course, but legally you can do what you like.

IMO the best thing to do would be to get an older dog (not a puppy) from a rescue who has come from a life with an older person who might have passed away.

It wouldn't be fair to get a young dog that could easily outlive him but equally if a dog would improve his lifestyle then he really should get one.

None of us can see into the future.

The family of an elderly lady across the road from me was worried about her taking on a puppy when she was 79. She outlived the dog by many years.

I think it’s a shame for someone who is able to care for a dog to miss out on all that love and companionship because their health will fail at some stage.

The Dogs Trust have a scheme for taking on pets from elderly owners if they die or become unable to care for them. I expect that ideally they would like a lump sum left to them, but as far as I am aware it’s not mandatory.

If your father isn’t keen on Greyhounds would he consider something like a Staffordshire Bull Terrier? They can be brilliant dogs, but seem to be harder to re home than some other breeds.

I agree with other poster that fostering a dog might work. Sometimes it’s just a dog that doesn’t do well in kennels.

What about being a dog sitter in his own home. Obviously with the caveat that he only does older, easy dogs. There’s usually a lot of return business once people find someone they trust.

Or an older cat for company, and he does the dog walking as a volunteer for the exercise.

@talkingmorenonsense not all rescues have issues.

Lolly & Missy on this page would be perfect for your dad
www.hoperescue.org.uk/dogs-for-adoption

As would Truffle alldogsmatter.co.uk/dogs/truffle/

Or Scramble alldogsmatter.co.uk/dogs/scrabble/

Vet staff here - I would strongly advise checking out if your local vets are currently taking on new clients and their current costs. We had to close our books several months ago due to lack of vets with no sign of that changing soon. Prices have also shot up like everywhere else which has left many of our clients struggling, especially the pensioners. It’s really heartbreaking