WIBU to ask him to walk the dog every morning?

[DottyGrey]

I WFH, DH does not. He leaves the house at 7.30 am. Every morning, he will give the dog and hamster fresh food and water. I get our DCu up for school, chivvy along and then do both school runs. On the school runs I will usually take the dog that will do a no.2, I feel the dog has that bowel routine and prefers to eliminate on a walk than in garden.

It means though that allowing time for a no.2 takes 10 mins off my morning and I get home, rush to tidy around and do chores before logging on for work.

Dh gets up at 7, which is approx 45 mins before me and DC7. WIBU to ask him to work the ten minutes into his morning or does it seem fair to keep our current arrangement? He has 50 minutes commutes at either end of his day.

I think if you both wanted the dog he does need to help out a couple of mornings as it’s a lot for one person to do even if they do work from home.

It would be good for him to get some exercise.

Think about it - he probably sits and relaxes/reads a book on his commute (unless he drives?) Then gets a nice lunch break, then gets to come home to no housework and gets all the benefits of having a dog without walking it.

Meanwhile OP is working, doing all school
runs, housework, dog walks..

Ask him and see OP, no one on here can answer it for you, you know him best. If dog is too much can you give him to someone else? Sounds like you have a lot on, I hope ur taking time for urself and chilling xx

It’s always funny on mumsnet that a commuting to work is relaxation but a woman taking DC to school is a chore. You’re both literally just travelling. Posts where the DH is walking the dog view it as a relaxation activity but when women do it dog walking is a chore too. A commute isn’t a break.

If both people are putting equal time into the household then it’s not unfair that his input is spent doing one thing and OP’s is spent doing another.

Depends on the commute though.

I’d much prefer to be sat on a train reading and having a coffee than doing the bloody school run then tidying the house.

We don’t know - maybe the DH drives to work then yes I agree that’s similar. Or works on his commute. Or has to stand for 50 minutes.

But I do think it’s relevant to the thread, the type of commute he has so we can work out if the spread of work/chores/dog is equal. As it should be if both work full time.

And for me waking the dog is a bit of a chore (as I don’t need the exercise, I run and work in active job.) But for DH it is good for him as he sits at a desk the rest of the day so needs the fresh air and exercise. He enjoys it more than me. Everyone’s situation is different and not necessarily man versus woman.

Walking the dog

Talk to him about it instead of asking. Bunch of strangers who have no idea

Get rid of the dog?

Get the 7 year old to be more independent.

Get everyone up 30mins earlier.

I’d agree. Except 99.999999% of train commutes have no bloody seats left and, even if you got a seat, you can’t read a book because someone else’s arse is two inches from your face. They’re usually filled with people starting on their work emails or responding to emails about kitchen cabinets or just trying to stay awake (because they woke up significantly earlier than their wife who keeps whinging about the dog being too slow to do the poo it doesn’t need to do). I’d much prefer to drive and would find it far less stressful and probably get more done tbh.

The likelihood that his commute is more pleasant than walking the dog after having a lie in is pretty unlikely.

DH WFH and I work in an office and start at 7.30. I get up at 5.30, walk the dog 2km or so, aim to be in the shower by 6.20 so I can leave the house at 7.10. When I leave, DH is still in bed. He does all the laundry while I am out (we have a cleaner once a week). He lets dog out for toiletting during the day and sometimes a short walk. I walk him when I get home about 4pm.

It works for us. You have to find what works for you. Have a conversation about it and see what he thinks.

I'm just a bit confused as to why, when you're walking to school anyway, that it adds on an extra 10 mins for the dog to poop? I take both our dogs on the 15 minute walk to school, and them both going to the toilet adds on no time

Great that it works for you but you do a lot more than your DH. Unless you love getting up at 5.30 to walk the dog. Especially as he works from home all day. All he does is let the dog out and you walk again when home?

YABU, your DH gets up earlier than you and has to do a 50 min commute it would be unfair to expect him to also walk the dog in the morning. The simple solution would be you getting up slightly earlier to do your ‘mum jobs’ before taking the kids to school surely?

@delatron I finish work at 3.30pm. He finishes anything between 6pm and 8pm, sometimes later, as he is in a global role working across time zones. A meeting just went in his diary for midnight on Friday, for example. He takes the dog out most days unless he has back to back calls. As I said, it works for us.

@losingit31 Sorry from your initial post - it looked like you did every dog walk! Whilst working outside the home and your DH WFH. You said you got up at 5.30 to walk the dog and when you left for work your DH was still in bed then he just let the dog out for ‘toileting or sometimes a short walk’ Which is fine if it works for you but I see now you’ve said your DH works longer hours too.

Anyway, it was more of a sympathetic post as that’s a lot of walking the dog whilst also working outside of the home.

@delatron no worries- we live in a lovely spot with perfect weather this time of year and he's really helped me increase my activity levels! The dog, that is - we only got him 2.5 weeks ago.