Rude nasty foul mouthed comments aimed directly at MN posters? AIBU to get angry?

[Bleachmycloths]

I guess this has been covered in the past but nasty comments on MN are cowardly and spiteful. Often , the same idea or message or idea can be conveyed without knee jerk responses which directly ask posters are they stupid/ a moron/vile with a sprinkling of ‘fucks’.
I am not referring to replies which refer to a poster’s problem. For example, if a OP has a horrible FIL who is giving her grief, then, by all means, have a go at him to show support for the OP.
To reply directly to a OP with ‘Are you fucking stupid, or what?’ - or something equally offensive- is inexcusable.
It is the cowardice which angers me. Posters will make awful uncalled for comments which they would never make face to face. Like giving another driver the V sign because you can just drive off.
Is it best to simply ignore and move on? Because, actually there are a lot of helpful posters who give good, useful, sympathetic advice.

I think that personal attacks need to be reported. However sometimes posters are oversensitive to being questioned/offered different opinions. There is a thread today that I would say is not what MN would consider 'genuine'. If you ask the OP questions (because we are not allowed to say is this true?) then you leave yourself open to being accused of being insensitive.

Actually there are lots of cunty men here. Masquerading as women.

The grammar police are ridiculous. I've noticed it can really be pot luck who sees your thread and what time of day it is, as to what response you get. The first page of posters usually dictates the vibe the thread goes.

Welcome to the internet

I think really aggressive, sweary responses are horrible. I think it's impossible to be resilient about some of the really nasty ones. But it says more about the aggressive posters state of mind than the recipient. I always assume they have so much shit that they can't deal with in rl so they come on here to give people a kicking.

It's this kind of gatekeeping post that is one of the most off-putting things about mumsnet tbh.

An anonymous forum is the only place they feel safe to be spiteful. Cowards

I agree with you. Language is important and many responses could be softened in order to get their opinion across but without being so aggressive.

I've seen some very unpleasant bullying and nastiness on here and it surprises me MN allow in a place there are going to be vulnerable women seeking help. Some people do seem to come on here just to make nasty comments rather than offer help or advice. I feel afraid to post on some threads in case I get spiteful comments for having a different view.

@Bleachmycloths if I think some are horrendously rude/personal etc I report them (so far in response to rude comments on someone else’s thread). Had one somewhat off reply to a comment I made on someone else’s thread and I just said something like ‘thanks for your input’.

You can report posts which are personal attacks on other people - you don’t need to be the intended recipient.

That will probably do more to fix the problem than starting a new thread asking people in general to be nicer.

Thanks. I’m coming round to understanding MN more now. I think I shall revert to being a ‘lurker’ and just read what I find interesting 😊

Omg this is awful Nutella….. I do hope you’re feeling better now. One thing I have learned - I shall continue to follow Mumsnet but I shall scroll on and ignore the really witless, brainless, nasty stuff.
I enjoy the sharp, incisive stuff tbh but the troll stuff I can live without.

It is the cowardice which angers me. Posters will make awful uncalled for comments which they would never make face to face.

The many, many, many people who create these threads always seem to include this as if it’s an incredible piece of insight. I really don’t get it. Isn’t one of the major benefits of an anonymous forum the fact that you get candid advice - the kind you’d never get from people in a face to face conversation? If you want to hear what people would say to your face, you could just ask them. Why bother with anonymity if you don’t want one of its key benefits/results?

It's this kind of gatekeeping post that is one of the most off-putting things about mumsnet tbh.

Disagreement is not gatekeeping. Suggesting you search a forum for a topic before raising it is basic common sense.

Actually there are lots of cunty men here. Masquerading as women.

The vast, vast bulk of posts don't mention a posters sex. How could you possibly know that someone claiming to be female is male?

If everyone who posts x is y and you are posting x you are presumably y?

If you like x ❤️

I often get told about my spelling and grammar. I get a bit of nastiness here and there generally.

But I don't report I like others to see their post so they have made themselves look stupid.

It’s still going, and so is this tired trope of sending non-sweary people to NetMums…

2014 called, @Yaslana . They want their put-down back.

Every time a post like this arises, the bad behaviour on here is based on all these “hidden men”.

yet I could name a dozen seasoned Mumsnetters with posting history going back half a dozen to a dozen years, who are the worst offenders at putting down an OP, sniping at people, cursing at them, making them feel stupid.

and their entire posting histories are about being a mother, women’s issues etc .

So it can’t all be hidden men-bots or whatever.

yeah.

Some of us women are perhaps really nasty, bitchy, and cruel to other women. Is that too hard for everyone to accept?

I agree with this. Mumsnets helped me a lot over the years with some fantastic advice especially during my divorce, but now I am often apprehensive to ask for advice after seeing some of the horrible nasty uncalled for responses.

Deleted quickly.
Thank you MN. 😊

Yeah, recently there are some proper narky fuckers out there, ready to bite over absolutely nothing. I miss MN of old.