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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate NYE

73 replies

Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 09:41

So many people posting about how amazing their years are, how much fun they've had etc

I've achieved nothing, my life is as pathetic as this time last year, still wishing I wasn't here

Just feels like a kick

OP posts:
Badgirlriri · 31/12/2022 09:44

You’re the only person who can change your life. Use it as motivation, go out of your comfort zone, try something new!

You can turn it all around this year. You have everything to live for. Good luck!

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 09:53

I know only I can change it, but I don't even know where to start. I would be better to disappear

OP posts:
creamwitheverything · 31/12/2022 09:56

I dont rate NYE much either but reading your posts.. whats up? You sound really ballsed off at life. do you want to chuck your problems down and lets see if we can make 2023 a bit better for you?

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/12/2022 09:58

You’re here, you have achieved something. What would you have wanted to achieve? Is there anything that’s brought you happiness or fulfilment?

Sorry you’re feeling low.

Toooldtoworry · 31/12/2022 09:59

creamwitheverything · 31/12/2022 09:56

I dont rate NYE much either but reading your posts.. whats up? You sound really ballsed off at life. do you want to chuck your problems down and lets see if we can make 2023 a bit better for you?

@Flowerfield22 I cba with NYE it's a load of bollocks. Most people posting what an amazing year they've had are bullshitting. The last 3 years have been bloody tough, and you are still putting one foot in front of the other. That's a good start.

Now give us a list of what you want to change and let's see if we can help.

user6278908823 · 31/12/2022 10:00

As well-meaning as that first post was I don’t think it was very helpful.

I’m really sorry you are feeing this way. I remember feeling a very similar way one NYE once.

I think you need to come off of social media for now. Concentrate on yourself and not what other people are doing. People will always show the good but never the bad which easily distorts reality.

Please do not think you would be better off not being here. This is your sadness talking. It’s ok to be sad, it’s not ok to think you are not worthy of being here. As hard as it is you just need to ride out this sadness. Things change all the time and you will feel happier in time.

Take each day at a time until you feel like you can make plans for change. Remember Rome wasn’t built in a day and the same goes for feeling better in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You will get there.

xxx

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 10:06

I have barely any friends
No partner, kids etc
I hate my appearance, there's nothing good about me. Which massively impacts point 2 cause I'm not worthy of having anyone :(

OP posts:
Toooldtoworry · 31/12/2022 10:19

@Flowerfield22 I don't believe you're not worthy of anyone. It sounds to me like you are feeling very down and lonely currently, and this time of year always exacerbates that.

Is there anything you enjoy doing that will get you out and meeting new people? I ask because I felt like that about 8 years ago and felt very alone. I took up running and joined a running group (not an obvious choice) but it did wonders for my mental health, and a good side effect was weight loss which, for me, boosted my confidence.

creamwitheverything · 31/12/2022 10:24

Ok so friends..I am not a social butterfly so I have about 3 of those! I am not very good at making friends cos they always seem to want more than I can give but if you do what more foriends the very best way to find some is by doing something you like,so maybe you could think about helping out somewhere for a few hours a week that would help and it would make you feel better and more confident too,Or if you like join a club like say if you love knitting (dunno why I said knitting but its an example!) you could join a group,There is loads about in your local area with all sorts going on all the time.
You dont have a partner well in my experience you never find one when you want one!!! I have tried online dating and all sorts and omg the rubbish out there lol you do seem to have to kiss lots of frogs to find a prince! But you could give it a go. I think you would be really brave to do this an dyou could do it you never know
Kids will come in time theres no rush. Depending on how you feel and how old you are there are thousands of children who would be so happy to have someone like you in their life I promise you that. Could you look into fostering maybe? Bet you have lots to offer which could really make a difference. If this seems like somethig you would like ring your local council they will give you lots of good advice.
Next apperance..not one of us walking this earth and I promise you this is happy with everything about how we look. I have crap teeth I am fat and untrendy and my hair is well shit to be honest with you! I can sort this but I cant be arsed being truthful with you, I a sorting out the teeth bit by bit. I cannot get my head round loosing weight in these dark winter months so I am accepting that theres nothing I am willling to do for now so thats that. I will go and have a hair cut in the next few weeks it always does make me feel a bit better,dunno why I leave it for so long. I guess maybe what I am trying to say is we can choose but ony when we are ready. It sounds to me like your confidence has gone for some reason.Thats the thing you need to get back and its not easy. There has to be lovely things about you and its those bits the bits you like that you really need to focus on. Tell me what you like about you? x

Bog · 31/12/2022 10:45

Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 10:06

I have barely any friends
No partner, kids etc
I hate my appearance, there's nothing good about me. Which massively impacts point 2 cause I'm not worthy of having anyone :(

As my wife would say to people who thought their appearance wasn't good.

"Take a look at my birth mother, she's an absolute hound but she's on husband number 3"

That was supposed to be a compliment by the way. Please let us help you.

5128gap · 31/12/2022 10:55

Its the worst day of the year for me too. No question. My life is OK, but I still woke up with a huge sense of depression and doom that will stay with me until its all over. I can only imagine how you feel if you have 'real' reasons to feel depressed OP.
All i can say is, while your problems won't vanish tomorrow, it's likely they'll feel more manageable when this is all out of the way and the percieved contrast between your life and what you think the rest of the world are up to (and loads of us aren't) isn't so stark.
So, hang on in there, talk to like minded folks on here and remember all things, the good and the bad pass. While you're still here in this world you have the chance and hope of better things to come.

LlynTegid · 31/12/2022 11:00

I don't celebrate, it is a hyped up (and can be) expensive event. I do think that 2022 has been an awful year for many though.

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 11:04

All of my friends are spending nye with their partners and kids
Me? Parents and my pet. It's pathetic 😔

OP posts:
Newwardrobe · 31/12/2022 11:10

I hate NYE too , it's a sort of dread of another year and wondering what shit will happen. I'm also spending tonight on my own.
I think it's all a load of hype tbh and all those posting about their fabulous lives must also have problems, no one's life is perfect.
Could you pick one thing that you want to change and focus on that?

creamwitheverything · 31/12/2022 11:16

Spend it with us on here! On the plus side you wont have a massive hang over to contend with or grumpy over tired kids to deal with ..its win win lol . Not everything is as it seems OP I promise you. I used to own nightclubs at one point and omg NYE. perfect all singing and jolly up to 12 then the clock struck all hugging and kissing and happy new years love you and all that rubbish then by 12 .10 they were fighting in lumps cos someone had spilled someones pint or they were looking at someones girlfriend...swear to god its true. it was a nightmare!!! NYE is also one of the most busy nights of the year for the nhs and ememrgency services too. Its bonkers.

Thefoxsays · 31/12/2022 11:18

@Flowerfield22 what about volunteering next year on NYE? Soup kitchens, homeless shelters etc all need help throughout the winter. That then benefits you and the local community. For what it's worth I also hate NYE, it makes me feel really sad, after a hard couple of years I always find it tough. Not because I think everyone else has a better life than me but because I'm moving further away from the people I've lost and that's hard. I need to lose weight, sort out my job, and am trying to be a bit more positive in general. It's only one night & if things are tough now it means the best parts of your life are still to come. Is it worth speaking to your GP if you're feeling so low? Be kind to yourself. You're important and it's worth staying.

Catsrcool69 · 31/12/2022 11:20

Hi OP, so sorry to hear you feel so down. I've always hated the enforced and, to me, artificial celebration of NYE. I too dont have many friends and can find images of ithers partying difficult. You are not alone! Your situation also reminds me if that of my DD. She's wonderful, but has had more knocks in her life than is fair, and has ASD and MH problems that have always made it hard for her to make and retain friends. She too is lonely and stuck in with her parents tonight. But tonight will pass, and I will say to you what I say to her. If you want your life to change, you need to change something. I know it's hard when your confidence is low, but as pp said, it might be worth finding one hobby or group to join. Just one small change, and see where it leads. Be kind to yourself tonight, I'd advise staying off social media and watching your favourite films. That's what we will be doing!

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 11:58

Thanks everyone

OP posts:
Aquarius1234 · 31/12/2022 12:06

Ditto why is it always this time of year you feel more lonely.

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 12:09

Aquarius1234 · 31/12/2022 12:06

Ditto why is it always this time of year you feel more lonely.

Tbh for me it's not just this time of year its always. I've spent so many evenings alone wishing i wasn't here this year

OP posts:
Bog · 31/12/2022 12:47

Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 11:04

All of my friends are spending nye with their partners and kids
Me? Parents and my pet. It's pathetic 😔

If it makes you feel better, I'm spending it with a parrot and my ps5....once my son is asleep.
What about in the new year adopt a pet? And as a pp said, spend it here with us.

Original poster
Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 12:55

Bog · 31/12/2022 12:47

If it makes you feel better, I'm spending it with a parrot and my ps5....once my son is asleep.
What about in the new year adopt a pet? And as a pp said, spend it here with us.

Show quote history

I've got my cat, she lives with me were just here for new year 🙂
Yeah, think spending it with you guys sounds good

OP posts:
Bog · 31/12/2022 12:58

Flowerfield22 · 31/12/2022 12:55

I've got my cat, she lives with me were just here for new year 🙂
Yeah, think spending it with you guys sounds good

Show quote history

I remember my wife saying the more people I meet the more I love my parakeet.
Online gaming is fun too.
Maybe your saying could be
When most people act like a twat, I remember I'd rather be with my cat.

Vitriolinsanity · 31/12/2022 13:22

I think if you're already feeling low, NYE on social media can be a proper kick in the teeth. You HAVE to avoid it. I'm happy for the people skiing, sunbathing in Dubai etc but I have to remove myself from watching that.

I will be eating a lovely supper, enjoying a glass of more expensive than usual wine and binging Jack Ryan, who's been saving his Season 3 self for me.

piedbeauty · 31/12/2022 13:34

People post a lot of bollocks on their social media. It doesn't necessarily reflect their real lives!

What's worst about your life? What small steps could you take to change things? Pick one and do it. Small steps, slowly but surely, and you will change things.

Keep talking on here too. 💐