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Original poster

Ex text me “happy new year” but we haven’t spoke for a long time?

31 replies

Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 21:49

i got the text this evening and I’m just so confused. It said “happy new year beautiful”… after about 3 months of silence. Before that we were meeting up for days out and spending a lot of time together, but he just disappeared.

He was the first person I was properly in love with and it hurt so much when we broke up nearly 5 years ago.

it was so hard to move on because he really was my best friend, he was just going through a really shit time. We’ve got mutual friends, and he’s not a bad person at all. We have kept in touch on and off throughout the last 5 years, but it always ends with months of silence and then he just reappears again. I know he’s not dating anyone else, he tells me hasn’t moved on and asks me not to talk about my other relationships with him because he thinks it’s weird.

Last year I was in a relationship with someone else but couldn’t tell him because he didn’t want to talk about it.

what do I do? I can’t cope with not having him in my life, I really do love him, even as just a friend at this point, but this friendship has just become so awkward…

Do I ask him what he wants? Ask why he does this? If he wanted to Be with me, he would have been by now. It’s just so upsetting to have these reminders every few months

OP posts:
Coffeellama · 30/12/2022 21:51

Just block him and move on with your life, it has been 5 YEARS! And he’s still keeping you hanging on while he waits for a better offer. He’s a looser, it’s time to let go OP.

Silverstreaks · 30/12/2022 21:52

Don't engage. You'll be hurt. His game will continue.

SpinningFloppa · 30/12/2022 21:54

You’ve been broken up 5 years?

Original poster
Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 21:56

Coffeellama · 30/12/2022 21:51

Just block him and move on with your life, it has been 5 YEARS! And he’s still keeping you hanging on while he waits for a better offer. He’s a looser, it’s time to let go OP.

Can’t block him as we see each other in social settings with mutual friends often. I have moved on with other relationships, he hasn’t (so our friends say).

OP posts:
Original poster
Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 21:56

SpinningFloppa · 30/12/2022 21:54

You’ve been broken up 5 years?

Yes

OP posts:
bellac11 · 30/12/2022 21:57

He's probably sent the same message to a few people.

Hohofortherobbers · 30/12/2022 21:58

I wouldn't want to be in someone's back burner for 5 mins let alone 5 years! Get some self respect and ignore this time waster. If you bump into him again you should flaunt a new boyfriend right in his face for keeping you in reserve like this. New year, new you!

upfucked · 30/12/2022 21:59

I can tell you what he wants - a shag and an ego boost. Like @bellac11 says he has probably sent this message to several people.

ImBlueDab · 30/12/2022 21:59

He's after either an ego boost, or a shag

WhatLikeItsHard · 30/12/2022 22:00

Text back with "can't wait to kiss you at midnight tomorrow"

...And then "opps sorry I thought you were someone else! How are you stranger?"

#staytoxic

Coffeellama · 30/12/2022 22:00

Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 21:56

Can’t block him as we see each other in social settings with mutual friends often. I have moved on with other relationships, he hasn’t (so our friends say).

Show quote history

You haven’t actually moved on though because you ‘love him so much’ and can’t imagine life without him in it, that’s not moving on. It’s incredibly unlikely that he hasn’t had other relationships… he’s made it clear these aren’t for discussing so he just won’t be telling you about them.

HunkieDorie · 30/12/2022 22:01

bellac11 · 30/12/2022 21:57

He's probably sent the same message to a few people.

This

WhatLikeItsHard · 30/12/2022 22:01

...but yes, the best thing to do is to block or ignore. Like a PP just said, he wants an ego boost or a shag.

Life is better without exes on your contact list.

poefaced · 30/12/2022 22:01

He’s doing it because he can. You are feeding his ego by responding.

You can block him, you're just choosing not to.

What a waste.

Notimeforaname · 30/12/2022 22:02

He's seeing other women when he disappears for a few months. Comes back to you for ego boost.
You're flogging a dead horse. Move on.

minticecreamisjustok · 30/12/2022 22:02

You can cope without him, honestly I think he is just fishing for attention, if you both wanted to get back together, it would of happened by now, he can't be that serious about you if goes months of being silent. He may not of found another relationship but I bet he's been seeing others that haven't worked out so come back to you for attention. I had an ex that behaved similarly, in the end I ignored his sporadic messages.

Phenolet · 30/12/2022 22:02

WhatLikeItsHard · 30/12/2022 22:00

Text back with "can't wait to kiss you at midnight tomorrow"

...And then "opps sorry I thought you were someone else! How are you stranger?"

#staytoxic

Brilliant 😂

EmmaDilemma5 · 30/12/2022 22:03

Booty call. He's using you.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/12/2022 22:04

Delete it and do not respond. It may have been sent by mistake, or as a test as to whether he could still have sex with you, but nothing good will come from acknowledging it.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 30/12/2022 22:09

those friends are not good friends. Theyre not helping you at all.

three months no contact and then back to a random message suggests he was sleeping with someone and now that has ended and he is looking for someone else to have sex with.

block him.

Original poster
Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 22:13

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 30/12/2022 22:09

those friends are not good friends. Theyre not helping you at all.

three months no contact and then back to a random message suggests he was sleeping with someone and now that has ended and he is looking for someone else to have sex with.

block him.

We haven’t had sex for 5 years, it just seems strange that he would hit me up now for sex? He was sleeping over at my place at the start of the year and we didn’t have sex.

Im also friends with his brother and he tells me that he hasn’t been with anyone else and is obsessed with his job.

OP posts:
Original poster
Parkstrike · 30/12/2022 22:14

poefaced · 30/12/2022 22:01

He’s doing it because he can. You are feeding his ego by responding.

You can block him, you're just choosing not to.

What a waste.

You’re right 😣

OP posts:
Carrotandswedemash · 30/12/2022 22:15

He’s doing it to see if he gets a response

don’t imagine youre the only person her sent that message to

CuriousMama · 30/12/2022 22:22

Honestly please believe these posters as hard as it is. He's like a drug. Until you go cold turkey you'll always be waiting for his crumbs. He's not as nice as you think. And this is all on his terms.
I had one of these years ago. Ghosted then contacted me. Told him where to go. He still tried. Blocked him and he emailed. Blocked again. All for his ego to be massaged.

Original poster
Parkstrike · 31/12/2022 12:38

CuriousMama · 30/12/2022 22:22

Honestly please believe these posters as hard as it is. He's like a drug. Until you go cold turkey you'll always be waiting for his crumbs. He's not as nice as you think. And this is all on his terms.
I had one of these years ago. Ghosted then contacted me. Told him where to go. He still tried. Blocked him and he emailed. Blocked again. All for his ego to be massaged.

He knows I’ve been with other people but banned me from talking about it to him, we don’t have sex or anything… I just don’t get why it’s an ego massage for him? Like exes can be friends can’t they?

OP posts: