Ex text me “happy new year” but we haven’t spoke for a long time?

[Parkstrike]

i got the text this evening and I’m just so confused. It said “happy new year beautiful”… after about 3 months of silence. Before that we were meeting up for days out and spending a lot of time together, but he just disappeared.

He was the first person I was properly in love with and it hurt so much when we broke up nearly 5 years ago.

it was so hard to move on because he really was my best friend, he was just going through a really shit time. We’ve got mutual friends, and he’s not a bad person at all. We have kept in touch on and off throughout the last 5 years, but it always ends with months of silence and then he just reappears again. I know he’s not dating anyone else, he tells me hasn’t moved on and asks me not to talk about my other relationships with him because he thinks it’s weird.

Last year I was in a relationship with someone else but couldn’t tell him because he didn’t want to talk about it.

what do I do? I can’t cope with not having him in my life, I really do love him, even as just a friend at this point, but this friendship has just become so awkward…

Do I ask him what he wants? Ask why he does this? If he wanted to Be with me, he would have been by now. It’s just so upsetting to have these reminders every few months

It's an ego-massage for him because he knows he could have you whenever he wanted - 5 years and you are still hung up on him, and he knows it. He can even ignore you for months and you will still be back in to this 'friendship'.

You aren't friends. Friends can talk about anything, friends don't ghost you for months. PPs are right, he's a user and a waste of time and space.

Block him and really move on - having mutual friends is no reason to not block him.

And him not wanting you to talk about your bfs - that's not cos he loves you, it's because he likes controlling you.

He's playing with you because it's fun for his type. Up to you how long his game lasts.

He's playing with you because it's fun for his type.

but what does he gain from it? I don’t have sex with him, I have had other relationships, I’ve moved away from where we both live, I don’t initiate contact with him. Yes I do reply to him when he texts but it’s not like I am sitting at home waiting for the texts. I’ve just ended another relationship and like being single at the moment. I just kinda would like to know what he gains from it

Text back ' Yes, I am beautiful!' Then silence. By doing this, if he genuinely cares, then for a change, he can wonder what's going on, what do you mean etc. As others have said real friends don't pick up and drop when it suits. Even if he's not seeing anyone during these months of non communication, you don't need this drama in your life.

Ignore he's hoping someone will bite

Block and delete, he’s testing the water, he’s a player and wants an ego boost, don’t entertain it he was a fool letting you go, come on you’re better than that 😀

Some exes get a bit carried away after a few drinks, he may have thought of you and send you a text in"the spirit of the moment", which means nothing really.

Delete and forget it. It's possible he won't even remember texting you tomorrow.