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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The op gas privacy concerns so we gave taken this thread down

91 replies

Highlyflavouredgravy · 30/12/2022 19:21

Is now code for' the op had their srses hsnded to them and couldn't cope'?
There are SO MANY threads being deleted. I've just clicked on 'threads I'm on' and three have been deleted.

OP posts:
LittleSpringSnowdrop · 30/12/2022 20:57

There was a thread last night about DH’s being pathetic when visitors were arriving. Has that been deleted as I was sure I added it to my watch list but I can’t find it.

NRCOA · 30/12/2022 21:04

If you are referring to the thread about the pregnant teen (or if that's the one that was the most recent) then I absolutely agree with that being pulled.

Keyansier · 30/12/2022 21:06

I think this can be legitimate though as well. Example:

I had a thread a month or two ago which I was fine with but then when it got into page 30+ I got a flurry of Private Messages from other users taunting me that they were sharing the thread outside the site and privately laughing at me over there but refused to say where it was being discussed so I reported them. The thread was removed and the message was something like "OP has privacy concerns that this is being discussed outside of the site and is naturally very upset so we are removing it now". I didn't specifically say that but anyone who would have read it would probably have come to the same conclusion as discussed here when it wasn't what I actually said.

OmiOmy · 30/12/2022 21:11

FuckNuggets · 30/12/2022 20:57

Every single fucking thread I reply to is taken down. Apparently I only engage with the controversial ones.

AIBU seems rife with it at the moment. It's got to a point I don't believe any threads started.

melonraspberry · 30/12/2022 21:19

I had one deleted due to sock puppeting and a general pile on against me which made it look like I’d been a troll and was sock puppeting myself . I wasn’t either, so it was a bit frustrating. It was a horrible experience though and I’m rarely on here now, I’ve deleted the app and I just take a peep very occasionally. I wonder if it’s a more hostile environment as I’ve been on here nearly a decade and never experienced anything like that before. But I didn’t ask for deletion, I’ve been here long enough not to take it personally, but it did make me question the nature of MN these days. Which is pretty sad as it saved my life (literally) when I first came on.

ChecoPerez · 30/12/2022 21:21

Afterfire · 30/12/2022 19:58

Yep. And yet when I’ve requested for threads I’ve posted before to be deleted they’ve said no. They pick and choose.

Either let people delete their own threads as they choose or make them all stay.

This!!

Or they offer to move to 30 days only, yet something I posted back in august is still in my active list, so clearly not deleted..!!

LikeAStar1994 · 30/12/2022 21:27

PurpleButterflyWings · 30/12/2022 20:49

Seriously? Confused You were worrying about some random on the internet with an anonymous name, and who you didn't know from Adam?! You need to get out more and get some hobbies. 😬

Re the OP, yeah it IS annoying that MN delete threads when the OP requests it because it's not going their way. I understand it if someone has been recognised and doxxing has occurred, but in 90% of cases, it's because the OP has thrown their toys out of the pram because things didn't go their way.

Show quote history

@PurpleButterflyWings

"Seriously? You were worrying about some random on the internet with an anonymous name, and who you didn't know from Adam?! You need to get out more and get some hobbies. 😬"

It's called being a decent, caring human being. Something you clearly know fuck all about Hmm

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/12/2022 21:37

I agree it’s annoying. That said, I have had a thread removed for privacy reasons before. I posted in AIBU about a sensitive/ embarrassing and potentially outing issue without thinking to name change and the thread got a lot of replies very quickly and made the top of trending leaving me worried it could be picked up by the daily Mail or similar. If I’d name-changed I don’t think I would have minded so much but I was worried that as the issue was quite outing if it made it beyond Mumsnet there was more chance of someone seeing it and recognising me and then back-searching all of my past threads. The vote was about 70/30 to me being unreasonable so maybe people thought that was why I had it taken down rather than because of privacy concerns but it really wasn’t, I just hadn’t expected the thread to be so popular and get so many replies so quickly it ended up trending.

Cheeseandlobster · 30/12/2022 21:55

melonraspberry · 30/12/2022 21:19

I had one deleted due to sock puppeting and a general pile on against me which made it look like I’d been a troll and was sock puppeting myself . I wasn’t either, so it was a bit frustrating. It was a horrible experience though and I’m rarely on here now, I’ve deleted the app and I just take a peep very occasionally. I wonder if it’s a more hostile environment as I’ve been on here nearly a decade and never experienced anything like that before. But I didn’t ask for deletion, I’ve been here long enough not to take it personally, but it did make me question the nature of MN these days. Which is pretty sad as it saved my life (literally) when I first came on.

This is exactly what happened to me. My thread was silly and frivolous but it left a sour taste as its deletion looked like I was the sock puppet

FiveShelties · 30/12/2022 22:04

OmiOmy · 30/12/2022 21:11

AIBU seems rife with it at the moment. It's got to a point I don't believe any threads started.

Show quote history

There are just so many 'wind up and watch them go' threads now. Most of them seem to be an OP and then no further comments and many of them seem to be PBPs.

Most of the threads 'I'm Watching' are removed

Hawkins001 · 30/12/2022 22:06

FuckNuggets · 30/12/2022 20:57

Every single fucking thread I reply to is taken down. Apparently I only engage with the controversial ones.

Here usually more intriguing, but overall it is a pickle

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:10

Cheeseandlobster · 30/12/2022 21:55

This is exactly what happened to me. My thread was silly and frivolous but it left a sour taste as its deletion looked like I was the sock puppet

Show quote history

What does sock puppeting mean please?

Hawkins001 · 30/12/2022 22:13

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:10

What does sock puppeting mean please?

Show quote history

The old puppet shows , same person using the two identities to talk as if it's a separate person, kinda thing

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:15

Sorry can I also as what does PBP meN? I don't know so e of these acronyms 🤐

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:16

Hawkins001 · 30/12/2022 22:13

The old puppet shows , same person using the two identities to talk as if it's a separate person, kinda thing

Show quote history

Ah I see thank you!

NotSorry · 30/12/2022 22:26

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:15

Sorry can I also as what does PBP meN? I don't know so e of these acronyms 🤐

Previously banned poster (AKA troll)

Hawkins001 · 30/12/2022 22:26

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:15

Sorry can I also as what does PBP meN? I don't know so e of these acronyms 🤐

Previously banned poster, although sometimes I think that's a cover story used,

Yaslana · 30/12/2022 22:28

LittleDisaster · 30/12/2022 19:46

I had a thread deleted for that reason once, but I'd never asked. "Well meaning" posters were saying I'd revealed too much (I hadn't because as I imagine most do, I'd changed some details) and it went poof without me saying anything. The message read like it was me who'd asked though.

that is interesting

I had a thread removed once, but there were only around 10 replies on it (which were good replies) but even with a name change, I felt it was very identifying, and I was still working there!!

DampSquids · 30/12/2022 22:37

Hellocatshome · 30/12/2022 20:00

I asked for a thread to be deleted once years ago honestly the communication I had with Mumsnet was like being in the headmasters office and I felt like I had a very stern telling off and I have never dared ask again. I wonder if all these deletions now are being treated the same or wether you just have to ask and poof away it goes.

Same.

Posted one night when I was very low about something going on with a family member. Had about six responses and asked for it to be deleted as the guilt was setting in.

Was told I could have it deleted if I went back to the thread and told everyone why.

Kick in the fucking teeth.

RudsyFarmer · 30/12/2022 22:37

I honestly think if you’re that aggrieved by thread deletions you’re over invested and need to put the internet down for a while. The OP owes you nothing.

sexnotgenders · 31/12/2022 14:19

RudsyFarmer · 30/12/2022 22:37

I honestly think if you’re that aggrieved by thread deletions you’re over invested and need to put the internet down for a while. The OP owes you nothing.

Very often it's not just about the OP though. Mumsnet is a community and lots of threads end up being a mix of several conversations, with others sharing their own stories/experiences, that can lead to helpful discussion for people beyond the original poster. When all of that is shut down, others lose out too, and genuinely helpful, insightful or just plain interesting chats are lost to everyone. The OP doesn't own the post after that original post - we all own in

RudsyFarmer · 31/12/2022 14:53

None of you own it. Mumsnet owns it. In fact once it’s published in the DM no one owns it and probably why many an OP have second thoughts and want it taken down.

sexnotgenders · 31/12/2022 14:57

I see another thread has bitten the dust. Taken down by MNHQ at the authors request. Would love to see the stats on how many are removed a day, and how this has changed over the past few years. It's happening all the time

QueefQueen80s · 31/12/2022 15:37

Yep far too many deletions.

LookItsMeAgain · 31/12/2022 15:45

I don't know why they don't lock threads from having more posts added to them and leave them up instead of pulling the whole thread down.

I just seems such a heavy handed approach to moderation to pull the whole thread when locking it would suffice.

They have a very clear policy on Threads about Threads so they can pull any of those. However if it's the OP coming back after a few months to give an update, they can link to their original thread in their first post.

That sounds reasonable doesn't it?