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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DH not getting flu jab?

41 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 30/12/2022 14:25

He has 2 autoimmune diseases and has had 3 covid jabs but not got the flu one. He said it's because a lot of people he knows have had a bad reaction to it and he can't afford to be off work because of it. I'm not happy he is taking this risk and we have argued about it. Aibu to say he is being reckless?

OP posts:
Tryingformore1 · 30/12/2022 14:28

YANBU to raise your very valid concerns, I’d also push for him to look at the actual stats behind reactions, instead of his mates.

GrumpyPanda · 30/12/2022 14:28

He's being ridiculous. Best tell him you won't be nursing him in case of flu or complications due to flu. It's a nasty nasty disease that pretty much wipes out a healthy young adult- I shudder to think how much worse it would be in his case.

Make him check on his life insurance too?

PicaK · 30/12/2022 14:29

Yanbu. Though a lot of people on here say they've had the jab and still got ill

Badger1970 · 30/12/2022 14:29

I'm T2 diabetic and haven't had the flu or Covid jabs this winter. I'm too sick of the side effects knocking me off my feet.

I don't blame him at all.

wintertime9 · 30/12/2022 14:30

I have 2 auto immune illnesses and won't have it. Had it once made me feel awful. Had my illnesses 21 years.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 30/12/2022 14:30

He has a phone consultation next week with his gastro doctor. Hope he gets a rollicking 😠

OP posts:
justforthisnow · 30/12/2022 14:31

His reasons are bonkers but as it happens the jab in circulation here (in Ireland) is not the strain thats actually infecting people, it's a bit of an educated guessing game as to which strain will be the most dominant and jabs are bought based on that. Hence increased numbers of flu cases here this winter, even amongst the vaccinated.

mynameiscalypso · 30/12/2022 14:32

I've got a couple of autoimmune conditions and am on immunosuppressants. This is the first year I've had the flu jab ever and that's only because I happened to be somewhere where it was being offered by chance. I've had 5 Covid jabs but the flu jab has never really been a priority for me. That said, I had my flu jab and 5th Covid together and had zero side effects.

Scarfweather · 30/12/2022 14:33

We caught flu in the week we were due to get our jabs, so couldn’t go ahead. I regret not sorting them out earlier. The DC’s schools aren’t giving them out until Jan.

If I had immune problems, I’d take a week of feeling ill from the jab over the alternative.

OurChristmasMiracle · 30/12/2022 14:34

It’s his body and his choice. Whilst you can raise your concerns ultimately it is his decision

Nimbostratus100 · 30/12/2022 14:37

There is no excuse for anyone not getting the flu jab, it is cheap and easily available. Flu is horrendous and at the moment there is a lot of it about. Everyone has a part to play in keeping infections and severity down. Its very selfish not to. A close friend nearly dies of flu just before Christmas, and if she hadn't had the jab her 9 year old and 7 year old would have been facing the rest of their lives without their mummy

RampantIvy · 30/12/2022 14:41

On the news today it was reported that flu patients in hospitals has increased sevenfold since last month..

DH and I have had flu jab with no side effects BTW.

mindutopia · 30/12/2022 14:47

It’s his choice. Really though I’ve had the flu jab every year for as long as I can remember (also have a long term health condition) and I’ve never had more than a sore arm, and some years not even that. But ultimately, he’s the one who will be miserable with the flu, so I’d leave him to it.

CharlotteRose90 · 30/12/2022 15:08

Sorry but I don’t blame him, I have 2 autoimmune disorders and I don’t have any jabs. I had 2 covid jabs and they made me ill then a flu and pneumonia one which put me into hospital. Won’t be having any more. I’ve had the flu twice and both times it was manageable, think I’d rather have that then a stupid vaccine I don’t trust.

lieselotte · 30/12/2022 15:38

PicaK · 30/12/2022 14:29

Yanbu. Though a lot of people on here say they've had the jab and still got ill

A common occurrence as the powers that be have to guess the strain(s) that will appear in a given year. Some years it's very effective because they choose the right strains, other years it's fairly useless. It's a lot less clear cut than eg being immunised against measles.

I have never bothered having it, although I don't have any underlying conditions and don't come into regular close contact with anyone who has any. I did have had all the covid vaccinations offered to me though.

YouWouldNotBelieveIt · 30/12/2022 15:40

He's a grown man, he knows about his autoimmune problems. Don't keep on at him. It's his own choice.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/12/2022 16:14

Yanbu to be concerned and to raise your concerns.

Ultimately it’s his body and his choice. Although it would be annoying if his decision results in more work for you if he gets very ill with flu.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 30/12/2022 16:15

Mind you I’ve had the flu jab, and have had all the awful bugs going around that it clearly didn’t cover (one of them at least felt like a flu). So I guess he could easily get ill anyway.

Hbh17 · 30/12/2022 16:19

I've had the flu jab, with no side effects, so I am not opposed to it at all.
But I do strongly believe that adults should be free to make their own decisions, especially about their own health, so for that reason I think it is unfair of the OP to raise it with their partner.

FictionalCharacter · 30/12/2022 16:22

He’s being pretty silly. Side effects from vaccination aren’t the same as being actually ill, and the vast majority of people have no side effects at all. Having the flu, now that IS being ill (I never want to have flu again thanks). Your body is being attacked by viruses invading and killing your cells, multiplying and causing nasty symptoms that can last a long time. It can result in serious illness, hospitalisation and can be fatal.

KangarooKenny · 30/12/2022 16:47

I’ve been having flu jabs for years and never had any side effects. Unlike one of my covid jabs.

KangarooKenny · 30/12/2022 16:48

And as the NHS is on its knees, I’m not surprised you’re annoyed.

Gfozzy · 30/12/2022 16:55

On day 10 of getting over the flu. I’m 34 and it’s completely knocked me off my feet. I’ve been in hospital and now out recovering with tamiflu.
2 people (similar ages to me) suffered a cardiac arrest with this flu strain (influenza A by swab) and one of them didn’t make it.

I hugely regret not having my flu vaccine as I am so incredibly poorly and haven’t been a mum to my 2 boys for over a week and I’ve seen them so scared for my welfare. This is horrific… and I had the flu only 7 years ago which took a full 6 months to recover from

Superfoodie123 · 30/12/2022 16:55

His body his choice. Sick of the current climate of people guilting others into having medical treatments they don't want. People survive the flu.

KangarooKenny · 30/12/2022 21:31

Superfoodie123 · 30/12/2022 16:55

His body his choice. Sick of the current climate of people guilting others into having medical treatments they don't want. People survive the flu.

Some people survive flu, unfortunately some don’t.