To tell DD what she can spend Xmas £ on

[Tiredo]

Dd is 6, she was given £40 by family to spend for Christmas. We took her to a big toy shop with no agenda.

Her thing is fluffy toys (teddies, unicorns, TY that kind of thing).

First thing she saw was a TY toy (fluffy panda with big eyes), it was £6.99, it was high up so she asked if she could have it. DH spent 2 minutes persuading her she has enough of them and to buy something else, the discussion ended in tears (DD).

IMO I felt it was her money to spend on what she wanted, I felt it was almost controlling and even when she cried he still didn’t stop until I pulled him to one side and asked him to, I reminded him to pick his battles, that it was meant to be a fun part of Christmas for her and just because her interest isn’t his doesn’t mean it’s invalid and she should change.

He feels it was wasted money, there was lots of things in the shop she’d also like and he had her best interest at heart. He said he has his parenting ways and that they’re different from mine and I should respect that.

AIBU?

She did get the TY panda in the end, along with 2 other toys that she loves and is grateful.

He said he has his parenting ways and that they’re different from mine and I should respect that.
While showing absolutely no respect for your ways? Haha what a prick. You’ll both fail as parents if he / you have this attitude. You need to sit down and have a proper conversation about parenting styles and how to compromise on these things.

He said he has his parenting ways and that they’re different from mine and I should respect that.

His views and beliefs about parenting are important and so are yours. But your six year old daughter shouldn't be having to navigate conflicting or unclear standards on the fly. The parents need to agree in advance, privately, how to approach money she's been given to spend. Don't argue about it in front of her or present conflicting sets of standards or expectations.

I agree that she should look around the shop and see eveything she could want before she decides, but if she wanted the panda down because it was too high up for her to examine, what's wrong with that? Get it down for her, or have a staff member get it. Let her look it over, remind her it's £7 and if she buys it that's £33 left for whatever else she wants. Let her keep the panda as an option while she browses, but it's perfectly normal that she may have fallen in love with it and genuinely want it. Let her happily pick the panda or happlily pick something else and forget about the panda - and be proud of her for thinking things through and making her own decision. In any case, the handling of the situation shouldn't have her in tears - what's the point?