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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you save for best?

93 replies

hahatate · 30/12/2022 07:40

You know some people keep fancy glasses or cutlery sets or expensive bags and perfume for best, do you keep something for best? If so, what and why?

I use absolutely everything I have and don't save things for best. I'm not sure if that means I don't have any decent stuff worth saving, or if I don't want to only use the things for a short while.

OP posts:
daffodilandtulip · 30/12/2022 09:50

I have a couple of handbags that I won't use for work, but I'll use them just for a normal night out, so not best best.
I pack the Christmas crockery away each year but that's more a space thing I suppose.
That's it. Life's for living.

MassiveSalad22 · 30/12/2022 09:52

Nothing but I was awful for this as a kid. My kids have just used a load of my craft stuff from when I was their age that I always saved for ‘best’, and best never came! I guess my kids are ‘best’ 😄

However I do save our Spode Christmas crockery for Christmas but I think it would be weird to use year round.

PopsicleHustler · 30/12/2022 09:52

Makeup.....I only wear it for my husband. Other than that I cant be bothered. I used to be the queen of makeup and wouldn't be seen outside without a full face. Now I cant be bothered. Might pencil in my eyebrows but other than that, he is the only one I love dolling myself up for.....

TeenDivided · 30/12/2022 10:07

Dinner service used at Christmas and other special occasions. But that's fine and we enjoy it then all the more.
Nothing else. My DPs have been married 60 years and I think still have unused wedding presents.

whippeywhip · 30/12/2022 10:29

I have a perfume I save for best. It was the perfume I wore on our wedding day so as soon as I spray it all the memories come back - that's more why I save it for best as I don't want a memory clash 😂

I also have clothes I save for best, generally jeans that take forever to find a good pair and I'm worried they won't last long from washing and thigh rub 😂😂😂

Fuwari · 30/12/2022 10:33

When I was a child my grandparents bought me a lovely corduroy skirt and jacket set (it was the 70s). My mum made me save it for best in case it got ruined. By the time the day came she said I could wear it, it no longer fitted! So I learnt the lesson very early on, don’t save something for best as you might never get to use it.

It does mean that something you love can get damaged or ruined, but you have to remember you had the joy of using it. What good is it shoved away in a cupboard or whatever.

Chittering · 30/12/2022 10:50

I have a wedgewood dinner service I save for best. I think I enjoy it more when I get it out for special occasions.

bluechameleon · 30/12/2022 10:53

I have a dinner service that was my DGM's and a tea service that was my DGA's that we only use for special occasions, mainly because they can't go in the dishwasher.

nokidshere · 30/12/2022 11:08

I don't have anything I don't use.

I thought it was really sad when we cleared MILs house after she died and we found lots of things unused, still in the original packaging. Some of it from when she was married in the 1940s, lots of gifts from over the years and even things she had actually asked for. What a shame she didn't enjoy them.

What is the point in having nice things if you don't use them?

Santamajormummy000 · 30/12/2022 11:12

I’m a pottery fanatic and I use it ALL in rotation.
The V&B (2 sets the same shape, one coloured, one white) every day, the summer plates, the red Spode/Christmas in the other house, fondue plates, kids/picnic ware, tea sets, breakfast sets…
Glasses? Meh. They’re destined to get broken.

But I do have a pair of nice black kid gloves that are saved for funerals best as I have two normal pairs that have stretched to fit.

primeoflife · 30/12/2022 11:17

@starfishmummy the same with us and our wedding dinner service. The plates are too big to fit in the cupboard or dish washer properly so it means it just sits in the sideboard. Ridiculous really

primeoflife · 30/12/2022 11:18

nokidshere · 30/12/2022 11:08

I don't have anything I don't use.

I thought it was really sad when we cleared MILs house after she died and we found lots of things unused, still in the original packaging. Some of it from when she was married in the 1940s, lots of gifts from over the years and even things she had actually asked for. What a shame she didn't enjoy them.

What is the point in having nice things if you don't use them?

Are you sure it wasn't used. My grandparents kept things in the original packaging but did use it, just put it back!

123woop · 30/12/2022 11:19

I have a Chanel perfume which I save for best but it's quite nice as now the smell of it reminds me of only special occasions!
Most other things I use though. My mum is always saving things and telling me to save things but it just means they never get used which is a huge waste!

JaninaDuszejko · 30/12/2022 11:27

We have a full canteen of wedgewood cutlery that was a wedding present that I love. We use it for weekend dinners. So it feels special but still gets used regularly. That feels like a good compromise. Our qedding dinner set is used every day but now some pieces are broken which is annoying and I can't get replacements.

JaninaDuszejko · 30/12/2022 11:27

wedding

Shannith · 30/12/2022 11:28

I used everything. Especially the silver (most of which I get from charity shops, heavily tarnished and just use silvo to bring back to life.)

Covid plus a major health scare about 5 years ago where it was touch and go convinced me to enjoy everything so I have best everyday.

My DD (11) saves everything for best - especially toiletries bless her. She likes having special things and I totally get that.

Shannith · 30/12/2022 11:28

Use not used.

Hoppinggreen · 30/12/2022 11:30

Nothing.
I used to but now I just use anything I have because I’m not emotionally attached to things so if they break or run out or whatever I can get a new one

BigMadAdrian · 30/12/2022 11:32

Nothing really.

I do have a dress I haven’t worn in my wardrobe - I tend to buy evening wear when I see it, as I know I’ll have a panic when I need to buy something for an event!

Other than that, I use everything!

CharlotteStreetW1 · 30/12/2022 11:44

Hippywannabe · 30/12/2022 08:09

Oh, I love these threads. There was a brilliant one after Xmas a few years ago.
Why do we do it?
Fear of not having it any more and being unable to replace it. We are denying ourselves the chance of actually using and enjoying our beautiful things!
I have really tried to actually use my lovely things- I rarely buy new to be fair (hides beautiful collection of notebooks) , for instance, I love blue and white China and buy lovely pieces from charity shops. I have a great display of pieces and suddenly realised that the very reason they were so lovely was that no-one had used them.
Now, I actually use them daily and if they chip or break, I have had the pleasure of them.
I am actually using up my lovely notebooks after years of not wanting to write in them in case they were spoiled or wasted.
My sister died in January at the age of 54, she had been bedbound for the last months and ill with Parkinsons for many years before. I cannot tell you how much stuff I had to get rid of and how many tears I wept for the holiday clothes that were never worn , the earrings that didn't get used , the presents that had been opened and saved.
We never know what might happen so wear the dress, write in the notebook, use the china, enjoy your things!

The loss of someone young really gives you a sense of perspective doesn't it? I lost my sister and i had always wanted to visit a certain destination but DH was holding back whenever I suggested it. A few weeks after her funeral, DH just said "book it". I think her death shook him.

So no, I don't save anything for best now.

Shunkleisshiny · 30/12/2022 11:55

Shannith · 30/12/2022 11:28

I used everything. Especially the silver (most of which I get from charity shops, heavily tarnished and just use silvo to bring back to life.)

Covid plus a major health scare about 5 years ago where it was touch and go convinced me to enjoy everything so I have best everyday.

My DD (11) saves everything for best - especially toiletries bless her. She likes having special things and I totally get that.

Just called in our local charity shop, there is a gorgeous full silver coffee set complete with tray for sale. Badly tarnished but I bet it's a beauty when cleaned up.
Someone saved that for best............

user1496262496 · 30/12/2022 11:58

It makes me sad when I see things like 50’s tea sets for sale in charity shops for a few pounds. You just know that someone has kept it for best and rarely, if ever used it. Use the best china, best glasses, best towels… because tomorrow is never a given.

Enko · 30/12/2022 13:21

Dinner service and cutlery plus crystal glasses.

However to me "bests" means not every day we still use them all regularly just not daily.

I also have dresses for best mostly because I don't have much need for a cocktail dress in everyday life.

I dont get this "life is to short" comment.
If we don't allow something to be special nothing is special.
Just don't make it so special its a never.
Big difference there.

To me one of lifes pleasures is a nicely made up dinner table and i want that sensation of "its special"
not the its every day.

primeoflife · 30/12/2022 14:05

Enko · 30/12/2022 13:21

Dinner service and cutlery plus crystal glasses.

However to me "bests" means not every day we still use them all regularly just not daily.

I also have dresses for best mostly because I don't have much need for a cocktail dress in everyday life.

I dont get this "life is to short" comment.
If we don't allow something to be special nothing is special.
Just don't make it so special its a never.
Big difference there.

To me one of lifes pleasures is a nicely made up dinner table and i want that sensation of "its special"
not the its every day.

I think that's a good point, not using daily and never using are very different things

FictionalCharacter · 30/12/2022 14:08

LubaLuca · 30/12/2022 09:25

I'm the same. Nothing is too good for me 😄

My mum is terrible for keeping things 'for best'. Tea towels, soaps, coats... All languishing in cupboards because they're special somehow. She's like it with food as well, for example she'll treat herself to a box of fancy biscuits but never dare open them, so brings them to us when they're approaching their best before date. Such a shame. I think it's because she had a very poor upbringing and really values 'things'. She despairs at me for being so free and easy with my belongings.

Show quote history

My late mother was like that. Anything good quality was saved for best. She didn't realise that she was really wasting these things because "best" never came. Everything just sat hoarded, unused and wasted. It was heartbreaking, knowing that she was holding on to nice clothes and makeup for some special occasion that would never come. No occasion was ever good enough for her to break out the things she was saving for best!