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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you take food home from a buffet?

77 replies

FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 09:48

I held a party for a family member’s birthday recently.

One of our family friends runs a catering company and I employed them to provide a buffet suitable for the number of attendees.

One of my DM’s friends turned up with a Tupperware set and said to my DM ‘oh I’ll just take some of the food home for Steve (her husband - not real name). She then proceeded to load three Tupperware cartons with food from the buffet.

Surely this is not normal? Do people really help themselves to food for their family who weren’t even invited?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 29/12/2022 09:49

Yes, that’s rude.

She should’ve asked first.

isthismylifenow · 29/12/2022 09:51

I don't see the issue. As long as she took from the food that was left over after all the guests had eaten.

We do it with birthday cake all the time. A piece for you and a piece to take home.

But I'm in another country so maybe it's not the done with where you are?

Greensleevevssnotnose · 29/12/2022 09:51

I have done this before at the end of the night when they said they would be throwing it away. Such a waste, I had to ask for a box tho I didn't go armed with Tupperware

Original poster
FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 09:52

I should also add that I think I’d have been less bothered if she’d taken stuff home that had been left after everyone had eaten - but she loaded up the containers when she was getting her own stuff before everyone had been served.

If it was leftovers then I’d probably have encouraged her to take them.

she also brought her own alcohol in plastic bottles and just bought lemonade from the bar.

OP posts:
MelchiorsMistress · 29/12/2022 09:53

That’s incredibly rude. Steve’s Mrs wouldn’t be greeting any more party invitations if that’s how she’s going to behave.

Original poster
FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 09:53

Yeah - sorry I missed out a fairly crucial bit of info. About it not being leftovers

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 29/12/2022 09:54

Buffets do strange things to some people.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 29/12/2022 09:54

No it’s rude and greedy. I have IL’s who do this and they’re well mocked for it.

It doesn’t bother them as they have the hide of a rhino.

MelchiorsMistress · 29/12/2022 09:56

Bringing her own alcohol doesn’t seem that bad. She’s not actively stealing anything from other party goers or the host by doing that, she’s just not paying over inflated prices for alcohol. I think lots of people do that when they want to join in but can’t afford venue prices for drinks.

Planning to steal party food is really scummy though.

Ramsbottom · 29/12/2022 09:59

That is appalling. How utterably rude. Very different if your host says take some stuff and hands you a container. But turning up with Tupperware and filling it is so rude and grabby

Diplidocus4 · 29/12/2022 10:01

Three containers before other people had been able to get food ?
Rude !
No more invites. I'd be furious. Yes take stuff at the end when it's being cleared away .

Belledan1 · 29/12/2022 10:02

At the end is fine but a bit cheeky at the start and especially 3 tubs. I order a lot of catering for work and always have some freezer bags for people to take stuff at the end.

isthismylifenow · 29/12/2022 10:02

FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 09:53

Yeah - sorry I missed out a fairly crucial bit of info. About it not being leftovers

OK yes that does change things somewhat.

Was Steve invited btw? Had they catered for him?

ittakes2 · 29/12/2022 10:03

FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 09:48

I held a party for a family member’s birthday recently.

One of our family friends runs a catering company and I employed them to provide a buffet suitable for the number of attendees.

One of my DM’s friends turned up with a Tupperware set and said to my DM ‘oh I’ll just take some of the food home for Steve (her husband - not real name). She then proceeded to load three Tupperware cartons with food from the buffet.

Surely this is not normal? Do people really help themselves to food for their family who weren’t even invited?

No normal but you mentioned her husband was not invited I suspect she was annoyed he wasn't and was protesting in this way.

Ramsbottom · 29/12/2022 10:04

I saw a couple do it at an all inclusive hotel once, they are their dinner then went up to the buffet and loaded some really big Tupperware dishes that they had clearly flown out with them. Said they go hungry late at night, even I thought that was odd. Never mind seeeing someone loading up Tupperware at a private party. She clearly thought free food and helped herself.

Original poster
FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 10:05

@isthismylifenow - no Steve wasn’t invited because my DM doesn’t know him. She only knows ‘Debra’ through the WI.

OP posts:
Ivyonafence · 29/12/2022 10:05

So rude!

I wouldn't invite her back.

SleeplessInEngland · 29/12/2022 10:06

It reminds me of the cheapskate brother in law on Home Alone who starts pocketing the cutlery on a flight.

Original poster
FlossMeg · 29/12/2022 10:06

The group regularly meet and have events not WI related and it is normal for partners etc not to be invited.

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 29/12/2022 10:07

Why on earth didn't anyone say, "Don't take it now Doris, wait and see what's left at the end. I'm sure there'll be plenty"?

DreamingOfAGreenChristmas · 29/12/2022 10:07

Outrageous!

It sounds as if she took a huge amount, and even if it was leftovers at the end of the night you wait for the host to say ‘would you like to take xxx’ or you say ‘would you mind if I take a sausage roll for Steve?’.

But it sounds as if she is having serious money issues…or is incredibly tight?

Willmafrockfit · 29/12/2022 10:07

that is rude and grabby

Willmafrockfit · 29/12/2022 10:08

i think its different at a hotel
i know when we went to butlins people were grabbing the breakfast for later

Willmafrockfit · 29/12/2022 10:09

she bought her own alcohol??!!
that is appalling.
she would be banned from a pub for doing this

what a skinflint

daisychain01 · 29/12/2022 10:10

Buttock-clenchingly embarrassing and unclassy.

and the thought of her bringing along Tupperware boxes ... words fail me.