Can’t sleep- crying about my weight

[Fussygirlproblems]

Just feeling a bit upset and angry with myself and can’t sleep because I’m upset about it all.

I’ve put on a lot of weight recently and I’m struggling to lose it. I don’t know what to do and I’m really struggling.

I’ve always been skinny and eaten whatever I wanted but as I’ve got older I’ve put on the weight and got carried away and I need to lose around 2 stone now. But I’m really, really struggling with my willpower and I think it’s because I’m a fussy eater and my range of healthy foods I like is quite limited. I’ve seen healthy recipes and tried different healthy foods and honestly I hate most of them.

I like and hate a really weird variety of foods usually for taste and flavour reasons but sometimes it’s the texture that I can’t stand- I’ll list some below;

• I absolutely hate salads or any sort or cold vegetables- whether that’s in a sandwich, or on a salad or side. I like some cooked hearty veggies like Brussels sprouts or green beans and some others
• I hate cheese and all types of dairy,
• I hate meat,
• I like fish but hate all other seafood (prawns, shellfish and so on)
• I hate all pasta dishes and lasagna
• I hate anything spicy or with strong flavours
• I hate curries
• i hate lots of ‘healthy’ things like brown bread, oat or rice cakes, overnight oats
• i hate lentils, chickpeas, quionoa, falafel, hummus and all dips and sauces
• i hate eggs
• I hate cereals, porridge and wheetabix
• i hate most soups apart from lentil

thats just some off the top of my head but there’s millions of other things I hate. I’ve always been a fussy eater and I usually eat white bread, fruit, jam, baked potatoes, fish, and quite often ‘beige foods’ and I have quite a limited group of foods I eat and none of them are great for losing weight. I’ve watched weight loss videos, recipes and read tips online but I hate most of the foods that are suggested. I feel like such a failure and I just want to lose this weight and I wish I wasn’t such a fussy eater.

does anyone have any advice or have been through similar? I’m really upset about it all and worried I’ll never shift the weight. Thanks in advance x

Sorry, I'm assuming you will remove my post as moderator. Please accept my apologies for not posting correctly

I know people say abs are made in the kitchen but if your diet has stayed the same but your weight has crept up is if that you move less? It’s very easy to slip into bad habits of driving everywhere as you get older. A lot of people think their metabolism has slowed down from early twenties to mid thirties but it’s normally more that you walked everywhere when you were younger now you drive.

but it is just calories calories out so I would start calorie counting if you don’t want to change your diet. Start walking more where you can and start reducing portion sizes , it might that what’s crept up.

Check with your GP practice to see if they have access to a registered dietitian, which would then be free under NHS. Or if you can afford it, go to see a private dietitian that specialises in mindful eating/food aversions.

Avoid getting caught in the endless diet cycling trap. You may lose weight short term, but are highly likely to then regain it. Long term, sustained weight loss requires health behaviour changes, rather than focusing on calorie counting. Nutrition is just part of the picture, not the whole.

You should probably seek professional help, as it sounds like it’s probably a psychological issue from your last post. You can cut calories to lose weight, but if you’re not eating the right things then you’ll feel dreadful and it won’t be sustainable.

Let weight loss take a back seat for now, and focus on building a healthy relationship with food instead. CBT or exposure therapy might be the way to go, or maybe an eating disorder specialist.

If you are a beige dinner and do a lot of prepackaged food, i think the real issue is that you tend to eat to the portion size of the box.

So say there's a box with 4 items in which comes to 800 calories, you eat it all even if your body is telling you, you are full. This is a real killer for me as I'm small.

You have to get into the habit of not eating full preprepared portions, consciously switching to smaller portions (light bites menu if eating out) or cooking slightly less out the box.

The 'nine inch plate diet' is considered an surprisingly effective diet. You simply reduce the size of your plate - psychologically it works because you think your plate is more full so your brain thinks you are eating more.

Calorie counting might be useful for you because you can eat whatever foods you want within your calorie allowance.

Lots of posters have given you great advice OP so I don’t have anything further to add for your weight loss goal in the short term. However, long term I’d really look at widening the range of foods you will eat. I used to be similar but as an adult, unless it made me gag, I’d force myself to eat healthy foods. Persevere with the brown bread for example. You will start to tolerate it and eventually you might even like it! I tried white bread for the first time in 3 years over Christmas and I was amazed at how much my tastes had changed. It tastes like cardboard now.

Sorry if this advice is coming across as being overly simplistic and I really am sympathetic to your feelings but expanding your diet beyond mainly beige foods will improve your life in so many ways.

You could try 'hacking' your metabolism. I eat really healthy, excercise but wasn't loosing weight. Couldn't work out why. Then I bought a device called 'Lumen' which is a small pocket sized device you breathe in and out during the day and the app tells you the current state of your metabolism. It gives you an idea of what nutrients you need to eat and when. For me, my issue was carbs - my metabolism burns carbs but not fat which was why I wasn't loosing weight. So based on the info, still eating much the same things but different amounts at different times of the day depending what my metabolism was was burning - I finally started to loose weight and dropped a stone. The app has different receipies and gives advice on things to eat and you keep a food log. It's a really clever idea!

Think about the 'why' and the 'how' will look after itself.

Protein with every meal (fish, nuts, beans if you like them) will fill you up for longer. Calorie counting in the short term but long term is there any exercise you enjoy? You can eat beige foods more freely if you're exercising more! Find something you enjoy so it doesn't turn into a chore. A daily walk before breakfast, a zumba class, a home exercise video on YouTube... I find exercising more way easier than cutting food when I want to lose weight!

You're going to have to calorie count then and that means logging everything.

Not sure what else to suggest as imo it's immature to 'hate' foods. Find stuff you tolerate, you don't have to like everything you eat. I am not a fan of a lot of stuff but you get used to it. I love white bread but it makes me feel sluggish and bloated so I rarely eat it. I don't really like brown bread so I have seeded brown as toast with peanut butter.

If you want something badly enough, you find a way. Repetition so you get used.

I was exactly like you OP.

I'm autistic with bad sensory issues and used to exist on beige crap, to the point that I don't know how my body functioned.

When I started my weight loss journey, I trained myself to like eggs, fish, vegetables, cheese and more by literally forcing myself: small doses of exposure therapy over and over again. It took a few months and was really awful sometimes, but I got there.

My body is so much healthier and happier now! It's helped my mental health. And I feel much more free, I could eat something these days at almost any restaurant if I wanted to. It's amazing.

You absolutely can do it if you want to, I believe in you 💪

As a starting point make a list of what vegetables you like and some to every meal. Try to include as much variety as you can. Avoid oil and alcohol.

I use MFP for calorie counting. That coupled with exercise is the only way I manage to lose and maintain weight loss.

I don't like your overuse of 'hate'. Would you not eat any of the above foods with something you do like? I don't think salads are a meal but when I add something I do like to it makes it easier to have.

I’m like you in terms of I used to be naturally skinny and eat whatever I wanted without consequence.

Now I’m in my 40s gained lots of weight and v unhappy about it.

Difference is I like (almost) everything! Not fussy at all. I just hate the feeling of being hungry. Hate it.

You can lose weight eating whatever food you like as long as you calorie count it. Protein can help you feel fuller for longer but lots of people successfully lose weight just calorie counting. It might be easier if you eat fairly repetitive meals. I’d also suggest considering upping your exercise.

If you wish you weren't such a fussy eater then don't give up trying to fix it. I am a former fussy eater and now the only thing I won't eat is cucumber (which has such a strong smell that it makes me feel sick). It took me until I was in my mid 30's to fix it but what I did was make myself a meal I liked and then include a very, very small portion of a food I was trying to get myself to tolerate. I would then arrange the food on my fork such that the 'new' food and the 'liked' food were together but that I would taste the liked food first. I took slow, deep breaths, reminding myself that this was food and it was okay to swallow it. I gave myself permission to leave leftovers but did not give myself permission to give up trying at each meal. It sounds painful, and it was, but for each food it didn't take long to bring results.

I went to a dietician as well for advice, which was helpful. In hindsight I can see that meeting her earlier in my journey would have been helpful as she has experience working with people wanting to improve restrictive diets.

Do you eat a lot of sweets, chocolates, cakes, biscuits, pastries and drink alcohol?

I was going to say what was already suggested, which is to start exposing yourself to new foods. It can take 10 to 12 times to start liking a food. I was a very picky child, but overcame it as an adult - almost as a point of pride. I've actually had to give myself permission now not to eat things that I don't particularly enjoy. It's so nice to find things you like, and remember to just take it one bite at a time. Maybe try some carrot dipped in sour cream, or a little bit of rotisserie chicken.

What do you eat on a normal day?

I recommend from your phone’s App Store: Paul McKenna - Thin, it’s £7.99. He’s also got a book “I can make you thin”
These and a subscription to Les Mills helped me after years of trying to lose the same 2 stone. Good luck 💐