Can’t sleep- crying about my weight

[Fussygirlproblems]

Just feeling a bit upset and angry with myself and can’t sleep because I’m upset about it all.

I’ve put on a lot of weight recently and I’m struggling to lose it. I don’t know what to do and I’m really struggling.

I’ve always been skinny and eaten whatever I wanted but as I’ve got older I’ve put on the weight and got carried away and I need to lose around 2 stone now. But I’m really, really struggling with my willpower and I think it’s because I’m a fussy eater and my range of healthy foods I like is quite limited. I’ve seen healthy recipes and tried different healthy foods and honestly I hate most of them.

I like and hate a really weird variety of foods usually for taste and flavour reasons but sometimes it’s the texture that I can’t stand- I’ll list some below;

• I absolutely hate salads or any sort or cold vegetables- whether that’s in a sandwich, or on a salad or side. I like some cooked hearty veggies like Brussels sprouts or green beans and some others
• I hate cheese and all types of dairy,
• I hate meat,
• I like fish but hate all other seafood (prawns, shellfish and so on)
• I hate all pasta dishes and lasagna
• I hate anything spicy or with strong flavours
• I hate curries
• i hate lots of ‘healthy’ things like brown bread, oat or rice cakes, overnight oats
• i hate lentils, chickpeas, quionoa, falafel, hummus and all dips and sauces
• i hate eggs
• I hate cereals, porridge and wheetabix
• i hate most soups apart from lentil

thats just some off the top of my head but there’s millions of other things I hate. I’ve always been a fussy eater and I usually eat white bread, fruit, jam, baked potatoes, fish, and quite often ‘beige foods’ and I have quite a limited group of foods I eat and none of them are great for losing weight. I’ve watched weight loss videos, recipes and read tips online but I hate most of the foods that are suggested. I feel like such a failure and I just want to lose this weight and I wish I wasn’t such a fussy eater.

does anyone have any advice or have been through similar? I’m really upset about it all and worried I’ll never shift the weight. Thanks in advance x

The truth is you need more calories out than in, if it's just about losing weight. You could eat ten bags of quavers a day and nothing else and would lose weight, would you be hungry? Probably but you get used to it. Drink plenty of water/sugar free squash/fruit tea
I've lost 3.5 stone since July and I've got another two to go to get to wedding dress weight. Dieting isn't fun. My appetite is much smaller now and going to the gym helps if I log out, because I think am that hard cardio and I lost 500 calories is this piece of cake with an that effort, usually the answer is no, so n I'll have an under 100 cal snack instead, this could even be a biscuit or something. Just have to stay under calories out. I stick under 1200 most of the time and most 2 ish pounds a week. I've but lost over Christmas had treats, alcohol etc, but I've also not gained because small things I used to eat without even thinking about it are now to be savoured

The only thing that works for me is a combination of my fitness pal and my Fitbit eat whatever you like but stay in your daily calorie intake and just hit 10k steps a day it will fall off! Xx

Every single “diet” is based on the same concept of calories in versus calories out. There are variations of it but that is the basic premise of all weight loss, maintenance or gain.
It doesn’t particularly matter what you are eating as long as the calorie intake is below what your body burns off through normal bodily activity (breathing, talking, keeping you alive…) and through additional activity such as going for a walk or doing some exercise.

So in theory OP your calories can be made up of 100% beige food, as long as you do not go over the necessary calories. Let’s say 1500 for arguments sake.

Breakfast: 2 slices of white bread toast and Jam - 350 cals
lunch: medium Jacket potato with 1/2 tin beans and a pack of low cal crisp for snack - 600 cals
dinner - oven baked fish in light batter and some boiled new pots - 550 cals

no need to eat endless fruit or salad. It is the calories which are important.

The issue is with this sort of diet, you do not leave room for nutrients, you get a lot of vitamins and nutrients from fruits and veggies and dairy. Also you do not have any high volume foods - like broccoli for instance is a super low calorie food which means you can eat a huge portion of it for not many calories. Same with lean protein, low calorie but high density. Means you can eat
way more volume versus something like bread.

If your meals are full of low satiating foods (meaning they don’t keep you full for very long) then you will feel hungry and you will snack or cave and eat more than your calorie allowance.

You don’t need to follow any specific diet st all, you need to use a BMR calculator to work out how many calories you need for weight loss and use a calorie counter to track your food - do that for a few days to see where your eating particularly high calories then cut back portions or make some basic swaps where possible.

Basing your meals around lentil soup, fish, veg and potatoes is not a bad thing.
You would lose weight if you mainly focussed on those foods.

How much do you weigh now and how much would you prefer to weigh ? You describe yourself as previously 'skinny' so you could have been slightly underweight and now within a normal weight range ?

Hate is a very strong term for a food stuff, especially so many. Most people have a couple they actively 'hate', for instance, I do not like Liver, the smell of it cooking turns my stomach, however I don't mind it in Pate, so similar to you and lentils, which you say you hate but are fine in soup, unless that was an error ?

Are you less active now than you used to be ?

Thanks, I really appreciate the help.

I know people think I’m being negative by listing all the foods I hate, but I thought it would be easier than wasting people’s time if they suggested healthy foods and I had to keep being like sorry I hate that, I don’t like that, etc etc.

it’s a combination of textures and taste I think. Like I like lentil soup, but hate lentils in other forms.

I don’t know why I’ve put on so much weight, I haven’t changed anything but I just assumed my metabolism had slowed down as I got older.

I know a few people mentioned tolerating the foods I hate and sucking it up and eating it but I really can’t- these are foods I absolutely despise and even the thought of eating them makes me shudder😢 I don’t know why I’m so fussy but it’s just the way I’ve always been.

thanks for the suggestions and help so far, I’ll write them all down and put it into action. I just really want to lose this weight x

If its any help, I lost 3 stone 2 years ago. I stopped drinking, and gave up all refined sugar - no chocolate, no biscuits, no cake.

Are you autistic op?

No I’m not.

I seriously think I’m one of those ‘super tasters’ that taste good differently because lots of foods that other people like, just tastes like salty metal to me. Maybe I’m just making excuses for myself though haha.

I was actually brought up NOT to be a fussy eater- I had parents who took me out for food at very fancy restaurants from when I was a toddler and i was simply never allowed beige food. I was sort of forced into eating adult food- I remember trying escargot and pate as a very very young child and I honestly think being forced into it so young sort of affected how my palette is with food because now so many textures and tastes are horrible for me. For my parents, it was their identify that they loved lots of fancy different foods and they were angry at the way I turned out because i don’t like typical dinner party foods, but as an adult I wonder if that upbringing had something to do with it. Again, maybe im just making excuses!

I cannot think it’s worth being awake crying in the middle of the night. Please be kind to yourself

I lost 4 stone calorie counting because I have to fit crisps in somewhere. You can pretty much eat what you like doing that.

OP just eat what you have been doing previously but throw in a fast. Can be an alternate day fast, a 12 hour one. Whatever you want.

Can you eat the things you like but just less of it?

Thinking about most of the overweight people I know (whose eating I witness), they nearly all eat very large portions or and/or snack a lot during the day.

Maybe it's just that you require less food now your metabolism has changed?

If you're a particularly hungry person, maybe try drinking water between meals.

Calorie count the things you do eat.

It doesn't matter whether you're a super taster or fussy

Calorie count the food you DO eat

Exercise every day

Please listen to the go love yourself podcast. There is NOTHING wrong with your body, bodies change all the time. It sounds like the weight gain is a symptom of a larger issue, maybe try to work on that, rather than punishing yourself for your (perhaps comfort eating.)
xxx

Cut alcohol and snacks. Eat smaller portions.

If you are putting on weight it's ultimately because you eat too many calories.

Its estimated that most people who are overweight eat only about 100 calories per day too much. That's equivalent to a chocolate bar or a slice of bread.

So stick to mealtimes and challenge yourself to do it as many days a week as you can - not necessarily every day too. If you would normally eat two slices of bread for a sandwich, cut it to one.

Thats it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Just THINK more about what you do eat...

Do you exercise?

OP, swap it round. Think about what foods you do like. Make as wide a list as you can of foods that you like that are also good for you. Do another of foods that you think are OK (don't make you gag but not your first choice) that are good for you.

Work up some simple recipes from these. If you post a list (like the list of what you don;t like) we could suggest some recipes

Do the same with exercise. What could you enjoy doing for 5 mins? 10? 15? Half an hour? An hour? A day? Everything from online HIIT, pilates, yoga to full day hikes or cycle rides or kayaking.

You're not fussy, you're not choosing this, you're not to blame, it's how you are. It sounds like you have a lot of sensory issues around food, it's fairly common for ND people to have this, but can also exist on its own. I can't stand a lot of textures. I'm not Autistic, my DC are and 2 of the 3 have very restricted diets due to sensory issues. I've found the more rundown and exhausted I am the less foods I can cope with. At one stage I did slowly work up to tolerating a couple types of meat, things like sausages, chicken (breast no skin only), bacon and fish. My first pregnancy landed me back where I started when the smell or thought of eating meat makes me feel sick and I've never been able to tolerate it since. It is what it is.

I'd start by getting a calorie counting app, make sure you put in absolutely everything you eat, get a feel for what you're consuming and then it might be easier to see where and how you can reduce calories. I've had good success with calorie counting.

Why do you "hate" these foods? Or do you just think you do? You say you hate lentils yet you will only eat lentil soup?

Do you have issues with sensory such as tastes and textures?

RTFT- the OP has already answered all of those questions.

OP- it’s just mathematics . If you eat less than you burn, you’ll lose weight. You may end up deficient in vitamins if you only eat very restrictive food groups (no judgment here btw, I understand what it’s like) but in terms of weight loss the most important thing is that calories in < calories out.

I can see how upset the weight is making you feel. Try to remember that it is possible to lose weight, and you can do it no matter how impossible it may feel right now.

Its understandable that you probably just want the weigh gone right now, but it will take a little time for it to go. Look at it more long term, like by the summer, or this time next year it will be gone.

People have already posted really good advice such as making more positive lists of what you like and calorie counting, so you could try these and hopefully they will help.

I really hope taking small steps gets you to where you want to be, as I know how daunting it may feel right now.

The biggest mistake I made over the years was focusing too much on eating healthy foods.

Yes they are packed with vitamins and minerals but they won’t necessarily help you lose weight.

Vegetables are often lower in calories and so finding some you like and eating more of them will fill you up more but don’t eat stuff just because you think you should.

Forcing yourself to eat salads every day is only going to cause you to binge on crap and end up in a vicious cycle.

I would eat whatever you want but within a calorie limit.
Work out which foods you do like which fill you up with the lowest calories - potatoes are amazing for this.

So what DO you eat in a typical day?