Toxic home and need of a break - alone or with my child?

[Babibel]

Current situation: I live abroad in a cold country and I want to go to my homeland to see my mum. Husband is always awful and child (4.5 yrs old) imitates husband atm.
Question: should I go alone and enjoy some peace OR should I take my child with me to bond again and attempts to fix his behaviour?

Thank you for your advice💛

If your relationship with your dc is not good currently, then I'd try to spend more time together.

I don't understand how leaving your child behind with their toxic father is actually an option?
Why do I keep reading on here parents complaining about their kids behaviour when they're the ones who raised them?

your kid is 4, and is being damaged by being raised in a toxic home. Provide your child with a less toxic home life and their behaviour will be less toxic.

Go to your homeland with your child and stay there? Or at least spend some time working out how you can get you and your child away from this abusive man.

Don't leave your child home with your horrible husband. Take him so he can spend some time with you and his granny.

It’s not that easy. Husband is toxic but not with my child. My child will be fine, he may just watch a lot of telly and do whatever he wants. Husbands harass me everyday

You said it was an option. Take your child. Don't return.

Thank you. I have a slow plan for that. Planning to move the whole family to my homeland and take it from there next summer. Fingers crossed. 8 years stuck in his country already

I can’t do that. Police from the country where my child was born could come after us. The Hague convention is European…

Except your child won't be fine. They are already imitating your husband's behaviour and will continue to do so. Take your child out of that environment and spend time with people who love you.

That’s the last thing I want in the world right now. He is verbally abusive. I need a break of him.

How will he be “fine” when he’s already imitating his father?

Take your child and don’t go back.

If you can afford to go visit other countries why do you have a “slow” plan and not a fast one?

Take your child with you.

So does your child.

You are his advocate. Advocate for him and protect him.

He is not abusive with our child if I am gone on a short break. Or do you mean that I should take him away because I should show to my child another environment?

Fast plan won’t work. I want to move the family, find a job, a flat and make sure husband comes with. I need husband to agree with the plan. If I rush it, it won’t work. Once my child has a new address and a new school in my homeland then I’ll feel safe.

Yes he is abusive to your child. Your child is learning his abusive behaviour.

You need to be away from your husband as does your child.

💛Thanks. It’s only a matter of 8 days. I may follow your advice.💛

Please take your child with you. Being ignored as a child is a form of abuse. You child has no choice in all this. Does your dp actually care enough to invoke the Hague Convention?

For sure, he wouldn’t let me “steal” his child. That’s why I want to do a clean move to my country. In the best world, he would stay with us and feel dominated and respect me there. Otherwise I’ll ask him to find his own place to stay.

Anyone else?

Always take the child. Do not let them grow up away from you believing abuse is normal and acceptable.

Please take your child with you. You said that your child is already imitating your husband's horrible behaviour so it would be a good idea to take him away from that environment and show him more appropriate ways to behave. A break will be good for both you and your child. The best of luck

I think you would be able to reconnect with DS if you took him.

Which country are you from? Does DH want to relocate?

Take your child with you. I wouldn't be going back either. Poor little boy, it isn't his fault at all.

You've got much bigger problems than just needing a holiday.