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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

37weeks pregnant and need early section

68 replies

TerrazzoChips · 28/12/2022 12:45

I am 37weeks pregnant. I have no partner. If I have a section this week or next my mum will be able to stay with me. If I wait until the 39weeks the hospital are saying I will be alone.

I feel terrible but baby is term and it would be so much easier having some support afterwards. What can I say to my midwife to convince her to support this?

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 28/12/2022 12:48

Why are the hospital saying you need to be alone if you go to 39 weeks?

That makes no sense.

Original poster
TerrazzoChips · 28/12/2022 12:49

Sorry my mum won’t be around to help when I am 39weeks but is around now

OP posts:
Fireyflies · 28/12/2022 12:50

I'm sorry, but I don't think they're going to allow you to have the baby at 37 weeks for that reason. Babies born a little early like that are fine and healthy in the long run but more likely to have trouble feeding at the start, so you could end up with more time in hospital or needing more support than if you have it at term. Do let your midwife know you'll be in your own for delivery though - they're trained to support women delivering alone and will do it just fine. (And if it's any comfort, I had my now-ex with me and wished I hadn't!)

Tandora · 28/12/2022 12:50

Unfortunately there’s no way that they are going to agree to an early section for that reason(presuming you are in uk). The only way they will do a section before 39 weeks is if there is a strong medical case (ie risk to baby to leave it longer).

Lockheart · 28/12/2022 12:51

It is highly unlikely they would perform an early section unless there was a genuine medical need.

Why can't your mum help in two weeks time?

Iam4eels · 28/12/2022 12:54

All you can do is ask, IME consultants tend to be more open to discussion about it than midwives so if you have a consultant appointment coming up discuss it with him/her. I had a section at 37wks but it was for medical reasons (transverse presentation with a large baby).

Would your mum be able to be with you for delivery at least? You won't need anyone with you overnight in the hospital.

elliejjtiny · 28/12/2022 12:55

I'm sorry but it really isn't a good idea. My son was born at 36+6 and needed resuscitation and then nicu for 5 days. He has long term problems now. I know it's rare but it does happen and hospitals do elective sections at 39 weeks for a reason.

FlowerLilyFix · 28/12/2022 12:56

Hi OP my SIL had one at 38 weeks baby was already a good weight 8lbs and her DH was going abroad to work so they did it. But I had a baby at 37 weeks via section for medial reasons and we ended up in NICU. If you do have a section at 37 weeks please ask for steroids for baby’s lungs.

yikesanotherbooboo · 28/12/2022 12:57

It doesn't make sense to me to have a potentially negative impact on your baby for your own comfort. I am sorry if that sounds a bit dramatic. Will you DM be around afterwards at all?

Peashoots · 28/12/2022 13:00

Sorry but there’s a reason they don’t offer you a caesarean at 37 weeks. Your baby will need steroids to help their lungs mature, which comes with risks in itself. Why would you risk your baby being poorly?
is there literally nobody else who could come and support you at 39 weeks?

ThreeblackCats · 28/12/2022 13:00

If you’re adult enough to choose to become a parent, you really, really don’t need your mum to help you.

trust me, I had 4 children, I didn’t have my parents with me, I didn’t want them and I truly resented them for being there, visiting, when my boobs were leaking, my fanny was leaking and I just wanted to shut my eyes for five minutes.

have your child when it’s the best time to give birth, not when it suits you or your parents!

this is meant in the gentlest of ways. But grow up.

DashboardConfessional · 28/12/2022 13:02

What can't your mum cancel in 2 weeks?

Olivia199 · 28/12/2022 13:05

All you can do is ask OP, it's so difficult but babies born via C-Sections at that gestation can and do struggle.
I had mine at 38+2 due to baby having some heart rate drops and not moving so much. (Or at all in fact).
They explained to me that although 37 weeks is term for a natural delivery, that's due to contractions and the actual labour and delivery itself helping to "squeeze" the fluid out of their lungs. Whereas section babies don't have that and have the potential to struggle.
Even at 38+2 they offered steroids as I was on the cusp. I didn't get them in the end and little one came out yelling away.
They were more than happy to induce at 37 but as she was breech they couldn't, so we held out as long as it was safe to get as close to 39 as possible and monitored daily to do that.
However I would discus it with your midwife/consultant because they may be able to offer some advice and explain the risks etc.
Wishing you all the luck!

Survey99 · 28/12/2022 13:08

You don't "need" an early section, you want one for convience. It is not the best thing for your baby to be born early. Can your mum adjust her plans to support you after your due date?

Tandora · 28/12/2022 13:10

ThreeblackCats · 28/12/2022 13:00

If you’re adult enough to choose to become a parent, you really, really don’t need your mum to help you.

trust me, I had 4 children, I didn’t have my parents with me, I didn’t want them and I truly resented them for being there, visiting, when my boobs were leaking, my fanny was leaking and I just wanted to shut my eyes for five minutes.

have your child when it’s the best time to give birth, not when it suits you or your parents!

this is meant in the gentlest of ways. But grow up.

Did you have a partner though? If so , your post is completely irrelevant and grossly insensitive

Bubblemonkey · 28/12/2022 13:13

My lg was born at 36+5 & was in hospital 6 days because she had issues due to being early (bit of a traumatic birth, was told if she’d arrived closer to 40wks, she’d have coped better)… I’d keep LO cooking as long as possible.

Tigerlilyxx · 28/12/2022 13:18

Is it an elective section or medical one?

I had an emergency section and struggled to get myself up out of bed for the first four days and DH did all night shifts. After this I was ok to get up and tend to baby but I wouldnt have felt able to look after a baby alone after a section for the first few days.

Not advocating having baby at 37 weeks for this reason but if it is an elective section with no medical need I'd consider a vaginal delivery if you are going to have no support at home afterwards

Tigerlilyxx · 28/12/2022 13:19

Is it an elective section or medical one?

I had an emergency section and struggled to get myself up out of bed for the first four days and DH did all night shifts. After this I was ok to get up and tend to baby but I wouldnt have felt able to look after a baby alone after a section for the first few days.

Not advocating having baby at 37 weeks for this reason but if it is an elective section with no medical need I'd consider a vaginal delivery if you are going to have no support at home afterwards

Bluekerfuffle · 28/12/2022 13:42

My c section was scheduled by the hospital for 12 days before my due date, I would have preferred it a bit closer to the due date, so they may do it at week 38 for you, no harm in asking.

MatildaTheCat · 28/12/2022 13:53

Your midwife has no decision making authorities in this situation. Only your consultant can sign off on this surgery (or someone they have appointed to deputise).

Now almost anyone would have some sympathy with your request because of course it would be helpful to have your mum to help you. However there IS a risk to your baby of being delivered at this stage by elective CS. It’s small but significant.

Your consultant would bear the responsibility of that decision if anything were to go wrong. And this is why they almost certainly won’t agree. It’s not medically justifiable.

I suggest you talk to your DM and your MW about your concerns and also look into alternative help and support that might be available. Also plan ahead so you have the most comfortable and convenient set up possible when you go home.

Wishing you well.

PorcupinePrickles · 28/12/2022 13:55

horrible situation OP, but they are not going to actively prevent you delivering earlier unless there’s a risk to you or baby which warrants it.

Is there anything your mum can do to work round it and be with you?

PorcupinePrickles · 28/12/2022 13:56

PorcupinePrickles · 28/12/2022 13:55

horrible situation OP, but they are not going to actively prevent you delivering earlier unless there’s a risk to you or baby which warrants it.

Is there anything your mum can do to work round it and be with you?

Oops sorry
They are going to actively *

October2020 · 28/12/2022 13:57

This is not a good idea. A 37weeker c section baby is much more likely to need NICU time than a 39 weeker. C sections don't squeeze their lungs and clear their tubes in the same way that a vaginal birth does so the risks of needing support are higher. You might think you'll need support for a section, but you'd DEFINITELY need support for a NICU stay. Trauma multiplied.

I work indirectly in this field and the earliest I've ever known anyone have a planned csection was 38 weeks (without medical cause obv) and that was for really really severe mental health issues (so even then arguably for medical need).

Coffeellama · 28/12/2022 13:57

Not a realistic idea OP, midwife can’t decide anything anyway she’d have to refer to a consultant and you’d have to persuade them, so you’ve left it too late to organise as that takes time. They’d say no anyway as you can’t give birth when it suits your schedule.

pinkpotatoez · 28/12/2022 13:59

Do you not have a close friend, aunt or cousin ?