To be utterly fucked off about DS’ car

[Thecaristheproblem]

Fuck off daily mail and other journos

DS is 17 and in sixth form doing a levels. DS is a very insecure person and always looks for ways to raise his “social status” amongst his peers. DS passed his test earlier this year. He was absolutely desperate for a car. Me and DH are not rich and for years have always been a one car family - because of the cost of running two and me and DH can manage just fine. I frequently bike or walk to work which is fine by me but I don’t have use of the car that often as DH works away and I work locally. When DS passed his test it was may this year when it was abundantly clear that we were entering a cost of living crisis and petrol was going to massively increase. DS was practically begging for a car and DH wanted to help him buy one. To me this was just a ridiculous vanity project and I don’t see a reason why a teenager still in education needs a car. It would be one thing if we were rich but we really aren’t. In the end I reluctantly agreed and me and DH took out a small loan to buy a fourth hand fiesta from a private seller on the condition DS payed for all the upkeep and insurance.

Fast forward to today and it is clear that there are several things wrong with the car, with the MOT being in January. DS has mocks in January but has spent almost the entire Christmas holiday working in his zero hour contract job, meaning he’s done virtually no revision. DS is also always pestering us for petrol money as he simply can’t afford it because work often dries up with his job. DS is also absolutely insufferable to his friends about the car (he’s the only one in his group who can drive) and always lauds the “power” of having it over them which means a lot of his mates are getting pissed off with him. I just know the MOT is going to be more than DS can afford leaving us with the option of either scrapping the car or us severely stretching our finances to pay up the cost.

I’m utterly pissed off at DH for bouncing us into paying for it and DS for asking. I wish we’d never bought it. Aibu to be utterly fucked off about the car

It's not your problem if it fails its MOT - either DS pays for any repairs, or he SORNs/scraps it and buys another when he can afford to run it.
Some cheap, older cars can be a bargain - DP likes to buy "non-runners" and sell them on for a lot more than he paid, but you need to know what you're looking for otherwise you're buying someone else's problem come MOT time!
DP has bought a non-runner for £100, repaired for around £100 cost of parts, sold for £950. Equally, viewed a"good runner" in "great condition" for £400, was running okay at the time and looked good, but the fan belt and engine were a ticking time bomb. I wouldn't have known, DP wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

Fuck off daily mail and other journos

Yeah that always works 🙄

Learning to drive is a valuable life skill. He’s working all hours to pay for his car. He’s understandably proud of himself (though perhaps a bit cocky). I think he should be encouraged, not criticised. It’s your fault if you bought a rubbish car, not him. You seem very set on the idea that you are ‘not rich’ and so a second car is some sort of unattainable luxury. Insure yourself on it, it might be of use to you, encourage your son to work hard at his schooling (especially if he wants to own a luxury car one day) and realise that this is a normal teenage milestone.

At the end of the day you knew this could happen. I don’t know why a 17 year old needs a car. Both of mine managed to get around pretty well without one. My current 17 year old has no desire but does like a lift places but is told to use the free bus service!

you made a choice and now you’re moaning about said choice, he works but that’s not good enough because he’s not studied and it isn’t good enough because he doesn’t earn enough all of the time to pay for said car petrol, he can’t win really, and if he’s so immature he’s lauding this car over friends he wouldn’t be driving it. I’d not put myself into debt for a child like that I’m afraid. My eldest bought his own car and pays for its upkeep from his own money - he’s 21 and works. He needs the car to get him to work though not to parade in front of his friends. His friends all have fancy cars mind you.

it’s done now, a fiesta should be fairly cheap and easy to fix I’d sell it tbh more hassle than it’s worth, when your kid can buy his own car then he can drive about.

@serenghetti2011 I don’t know why a 17 year old needs a car

My 17 year old has a car, we were over the moon when he passed and wanted a car because it not only saves him hours a day wasted on multiple buses to college and back, it also freed up our time with the multiple bus/train strikes so we would jump in and get him to college while he had exams.

He has a part time job around his college course, he pays for the insurance/petrol etc himself and still manages to save each month. But he's able to work enough hours to do that now as he's not wasting that time sat on public transport and waiting at bus stops. He gets out and about much more than before he had the car, anywhere he wanted to go before was multiple busses/train rides away, we don't have a direct link with just 1 bus.

So in some cases, a car is extremely useful to a 17 year old.

I looked into used cars when Dd passed her test and realised quite quickly that once you take into account depreciation, mot’s, breakdowns, mpg, tax and all the other stuff that comes with a used car for those of us who don’t know how to fix a car it was cheaper for to go and get her a brand new lease car.

Yet, I can balance that out with my anecdote and tell you my 19 yr old car, that I bought for £500 4 years ago, has just gone through yet another MOT without any trouble. Paying out £100 a month would have cost £4,800 (so far) doing it your way, as opposed to around £1000 in total doing it my way. (incl paying for MOTs and odd bits)

When my dd passed her test at 17.5, she worked all that Summer (and some shifts at weekends and the odd evening), then bought her own car and paid for her own insurance (and we live in an area where insurance is expensive) at 18.5, leaving enough of her savings in the bank for the expected repairs and replacements. She bought her first car for £300, replaced the tyre and battery (so paid in total £500 and it went through the next 2.5 years only needing a windscreen wiper and a headlight bulb replacing (and a puncture - which of course can happen to any car).

It doesn't make sense to lease a car for everyone.

Put it through MOT first before doing anything, and the examiners will give him a list of things it needs to pass. DS can concentrate on those first but put it off the road until fixed and after his exams

The lesson will be a brutal one…

The car is a status symbol of a status that he doesn’t hold.

You are unreasonable to have entertained this nonsense in the first place. Getting in to debt so that your son can peacock about at your expense.

My car was bought third hand for cash. It usually sails through its MOT. My previous car was an old fiesta, and that too went through its MOT without much needed doing. The car before that was owned from nearly new and by the time I scapped it had done well over 100,000 miles and had only ever had the wear and tear type repairs. None of these cars broke down.
I haven't had a car loan or a lease car.

An MOT simply means that the vehicle met the minimum legal standards of roadworthyness at the moment it was tested. There might still be expensive, catastrophic things wrong with the car.

Mine needed to get to work which could be anywhere in the country and a lot of the times was out at some big hotel or stately home that was miles from any bus stop, not that there was a bus at 2/3/4am

My DH and I bought my DSS a car once he'd passed. It was £2k. Stepson chose it. He'd sold it for less than we paid less than a month after buying it. Said he put the money towards a new car but realistically he pissed the money up the wall and took out a loan with a car dealership for a newer more expensive car. It ended up going back as he couldn't afford it and they took the car back, paid of some of the debt and then he had to pay the remainder of it.

Id said this would happen all along. His dad still bails him out constantly every month. £50 here, £100 there just till pay day. It's never paid back in full. Don't be my DH. Give him consequences or he will never learn.

My stepson is lovely. Really kind and he's a nice kid. He's still shite with money and sorting out priorities like direct debits for bills etc because his dad always sorts it out for him. He's 24 now and is getting a bit better finally.

I've took a big step back from it all as I always look like the bad guy and it's up to his dad really. He's an adult after all.

Monthly car payments here were less than the cost of lessons and that was pcp on a new car. Insurance was cheaper than an older car too. Maybe more research was needed?

My DD is 17 end of Jan and I'm considering getting her a car. At the moment I'm a single parent, rural, working full time. I get home for 7pm, my DD needs picking up from her job at 9pm on the days she works (40min round trip for me). She also has to get a bus to college that costs me over £300 a term.

For me, getting her a car and helping her finance it is the sensible option. Our buses stop at 6pm and only run roughly hourly through the day. For her to work in the future learning to drive and having a car are our only options so I will support her in getting a car and her licence asap.

Have you looked at how much those “cheap” cars are now.

The days of the £500 car are definitely gone. Even in the last year prices have gone ridiculous. Insurance etc is all massively more expensive. Dd was doing 50,000 miles per year and I doubt a £500 car would get her through the first week.
Add to that the thought of an 18 year old breaking down in some country lane, miles from anywhere in the dead of night on the way back from working some event 200 miles away and it had to be a new car.
Plus the fact that as a manager she sometimes had to take people to pop to the shops or wholesalers to collect stuff and breaking down wasn’t an option

DS has mocks in January but has spent almost the entire Christmas holiday working in his zero hour contract job, meaning he’s done virtually no revision. DS is also always pestering us for petrol money as he simply can’t afford it because work often dries up with his job.

That’s contradictory. On the one hand he had spent the entire time working so could do no revision. On the other hand he has no money because work is OFTEN not available with his job. So, if work is often not available, surely all of that time could have been used for revision?

Sounds like you make a few excuses for the lad?

Blimey you've been foolish. You need to draw a line under handouts for the car. Any future expenses should be down to your son, including petrol. The other issue is him prioritising earning for his car over studying, and that's the one that you are now facing. The mock exams may give him a wake up call or may make him want to do more part-time work so he can keep the car. He's at risk of dropping out of school unless you are firm about your expectations. He's already fooled you into getting finance to buy a car, how much more of a pair of mugs are you going to be?